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Addicts Dating Addicts

I dont think relationships work when the couple are doing hard drugs like iving heroin & what not. I know couples that are together for over 10 years that are alcoholics & smoke weed constantly. When it comes to hard drugs, I dont think relationships can work.
 
I try to be with non-addicts, but I always end up breaking up with them after awhile. To me they are dull and boring and they just cant possibly understand the things ive been thru and the worlds ive seen thru my drug experiences. normal everyday life is a struggle for me because I want to use every day. Which is something that a non-addicted person will never understand.

To me the relationships Ive been in with other addicts have been the most intense and powerful relationships ive ever had, something that will never be forgotten.
 
I met a guy who introduced me to IVing heroin. When I met him he was already an addict. I was dumb for thinking that i could change him. It was a violent love hate thing. In the end he picked heroin over everything else. He screwed me over big time.
I never want to be in such a dangerous relationship ever again but I always find myself attracted to the guys with the most problems. Maybe it's cause I'm not afraid to be myself around them.
 
So what randomly pops into my head today?

"Hey it' Matthew I'm calling for my weekly buttwashing"

:\
 
IME this is not a good idea, most likley all said couples would have in common is addiction, no help to eachother at all, but im definitly not saying that in all cases it would be a bad thing, sometimes love of each other provails and the couple can clean up together.
In an ideal world:\
 
Yeah, I have. I've dated an alcoholic and an opiate addict, one for two years and one for a year and a half respectively.

I think it's needless to say that unless you yourself are in a good place--as well as your partner--then your relationship just isn't going to work out. I am willing to bet that there will be responses that indicate otherwise but I personally haven't known an addicted couple that didn't just compound all of their problems into one big clusterfuck of issues. I'm not saying it's impossible for two people who are currently addicted to drugs to be compatible. That's definitely possible. I just don't think it's healthy and is almost never successful in the way that the relationship remains completely stable, a good influence on both parties, healthy, etc. It won't be healthy to say the least if you are chock full of issues (i.e. addiction). Until you yourself are healthy, your relationships probably won't be. I know some might argue this because they're addicts and have what seem to be good relationships but I seriously don't know the first couple that is addicted to substances that weren't also addicted to having someone to do drugs with, dependent on their partner for just about everything on an emotional level, dependent on their partner's connections, etc. Usually addicted couples are also addicted to one another and I see this happen all of the time. They can also become really good at convincing themselves that their relationship is indeed healthy despite the drug use.

I dunno, I suppose I subscribe to the school of thought that suggests that one addict is a person with enough problems and adding another only deepens the amount of trouble in that person's life as well as their partner's. I personally don't ever want to be involved with an addict again, or anyone who uses drugs for the matter as I am a recovering addict myself. People already seem to have enough problems without having to contend with another problem-filled person.
 
As an addict, I will give my side of it with dating people who are "straight."

It almost always happens because they see some kind of tragic, flawed beauty in me, and think somehow they can "save me."
(I'm a guy, have two degrees including a masters, and would probably be somewhere if I didn't love dope so much. As my bicycle dealer said when I graduated from college "You probably would have made Dean's List if you weren't so fucked up." "Uh, I did make Dean's List." "Well shit, I hate to think what you would've done if you weren't so fucked up." And I mean dope as in opiates, as well as lots of other substances)
As far as my relationships, there is either something about me that seems to be attractive to rich hipster chicks who moved to the city to slum it, or really legitimately attractive older women who see that "tragic beauty" in me and feel like they can save me or some shit like that.
The worst of this was dating a 38 year old woman (who actually went on to work for the FBI - yikes) who would just totally enable me, give me money for drugs and alcohol, give me a place to stay when my power was cut off from non-payment, look the other way when I was in her medicine cabinet rummaging around, yet would always take me back. This was a fucked up situation because i was only 22 and pursuing my Masters degree, and she thought it was more important that I just "make it through" than me getting straight, etc... So in some respects it would have been better if I would have just dated another addict.
In the end, I probably taught her a good lesson about not saving people as I'm sure she feels like she got burned bad by me, but at the same time, I feel badly about totally taking someone for everything they would give me and then some.

I don't really think addicts should date anyone, and I haven't necessarily got it under control or anything, but at least I go into relationships with total full disclosure now so they aren't entertaining any notions of me being a good person.
 
addicts dating addicts is generally a bad idea.....

unless....

you both wanna use together......

or your BOTH sober, and committed to it.......
 
^^ See An ATypical Addict will always see another persons weakness and decide its worth taking Advantage of because very often they/we shun our own vulnerability. No-one is a 'Good Person' by just being themselves, everyone has a myriad of asshole within them, being ethical is a matter of choice. If your around someone who's vulnerabliity is apparent to you, its is your responsibility to choose whether you use them or not. Sure we can all make the excuse that 'they were asking for it' and perhaps they need to learn their lessons but that is a cop out for taking responsiblility on one's own part within the dynamic. By putting up Bounderies with compasion and out of respect for another(as well as ourselves!) we might help them as well as ourselves to learn to do the same rather than burning them for punishment and then using and complaning that it's a 'dog eat dog world we live in' and how 'life and people are shit', while we ourselves contribute to the cycle of it! Some Co-Dpendents arent as benign as Addicts think either, very often there is a Power Trip associated from being in control while the Addicted partner is dependent on them for Emotional/Physical/Chemical/Financial etc reasons. Its a not so Romantic Vampire Tale; with both living their Deluded Drama about who is the one in control - there is no love in these situations. I know one cant control peoples Co-Dependant behaviour but one can make the concious choice not to feed into it either and this helps the Addict to not feed his/her own Addicting thinking habit, and therefore the destructive symbiosis can be intervened upon/stopped. It's a good Habit to practice!;)
 
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I had problems with it. We would help each other justify continued drug use. We would definitely enable each other.

I'm sure lots or folks get clean together, but I have only seen it happen with one couple, but then, they broke up, and the girl met a new guy who enabled her to start using again!

You have to BOTH be truly ready to quit, and its difficult enough for one person to be truly ready, let alone two who are together.

I had to do it on my own........
 
Hmmmm....

Addicts dating addicts just means... MORE HOOK-UPS FOR DRUGS! Which would be good for me, because I don't want to not do drugs. In fact, I have been having trouble finding certain benzo's and certain opiates since me and my girlfriend parted ways... quite troubling!

I gatta keep my eyes open for a new girl to use with!

I mean obviously it wouldn't be a good idea for addicts to like get married and have children together, but for the short term just to have fun and share sources it really is quite fun!
 
Me and my boyfriend have been on heroin for a year and a half. We were only dating less than 2 months before we started doing H. Things are totally falling apart now. He's lying to me and shooting all the drugs so that I get sick. I've always helped him out even if I had very little, I always would share. I just cannot lie to loved ones. He's unemployed and I have a real profession. Things are completely falling apart. Can anyone suggest any forums or threads specific for couples on heroin? Thanks :s
 
I've tried so hard to meet girls who dont do drugs, sure i've dated them but the past 4/5 years i cant 'connect' with anybody apart from a 'dope fiend' even if it's just a causal line or pipe here & there. So what anyway, i think a lot of people who take drugs are great. Addicts on the other hand... my on/off gf from college was so into speed + coke it's all she ever talked about.

Get another buzz y'know.
 
I'm an addict, and I've only dated other addicts since I became one. People who haven't experienced addiction themselves probably wouldn't understand (or put up with) all my shit. Drug addiction is a huge part of my life.
 
TheLostBoys said:
I dont think relationships work when the couple are doing hard drugs like iving heroin & what not. I know couples that are together for over 10 years that are alcoholics & smoke weed constantly. When it comes to hard drugs, I dont think relationships can work.
Click to expand...

Alcohol is one of the hardest drugs, the thing that makes it less damaging is that it's cheap and readily available. I think that if opiate addicts never ran out of supply their lives would have the potential to be just as good as anyone else's, you know?
 
Starshowers said:
Alcohol is one of the hardest drugs, the thing that makes it less damaging is that it's cheap and readily available. I think that if opiate addicts never ran out of supply their lives would have the potential to be just as good as anyone else's, you know?
Click to expand...

This is true.
 
I have been a drug addict since I got out of highschool. Well, dropped out in my senior year anyway. I haven't dated 1 addict. I have always been with my opposite when it comes to the love department. I always get the "Good Girl" well......they all seem good, but IME all girls are just...let's face it. Heartbreakers. (no offense girls lol)

I was always able to keep my drug use a secret. Even when living together. So it was kinda sad that I was just One Big Lie basically. But I fucked around with this one chick for a little bit. And she was older than me, and addicted to crack. It was amazing how much we had in common! I had all the best crack hook ups for her, and she had all the best H hook ups to suit me!

It was amazing to actually hold a decent convo with the opposite sex for once. But the more I got to know her. The more I saw myself in her. It sickened me. I knew all the little tricks, and drug routines. *shiver* it's sad to see such foul acts in someone so beautiful. REALITY CHECK!

She ended up getting out of town......with some of my belongings.

"You can always turn your back on a drug person. But you can never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye" :)
 
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