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addicts and happy families.

I

IgnoranceIsBliss

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 3, 2014
Messages
14
I am just curious if anyone who has had or do currently have an opiate addiction have a happy partner and kid/s at home? Any replies will much appreciated and very helpful to my own personal situation. Thanks.
 
maybe on maintenance drugs. street drugs, no chance in my opinion. the cycle of constantly having to get money, buy drugs, evade law enforcement, makes it almost improbable to hold any substantial relationship.

welcome to bluelight. moving this thread.

homeless -> sex, love & relationships
 
So replacing a 1kg a day pst habit with a rc benzo dependancy would you consider that maintenance? Or do you mean prescription through a gp?
Sorry and thankyou for reply I feel as soon as my partner of 15 years (been with him since I was 13 always experimented together halves in everything until i fell pregnant) began his opiate addiction I lost him completely his soul is gone.
Will he ever come back?
He just tries to destroy me daily bring me down beneath his level to make himself feel better when I am putting my absolute all into raising his daughter whom he has never has been sober a day for her entire life.
I just want my best friend back but I think he is gone forever.
Is there any ex opiate addicts that have been able to repair a very broken family?
Sorry I am lost completely and utterly lost just holding onto a tiny bit of hope I know I should have let go a long time ago.
 
Yes it can be done...i was a terrible father and partner when i was at the peek of my oxy/heroin habit..he needs real help..addiction is very powerful and will completely take over some ppl...look i cant answers forsure if "your" relationship can be fixed as i dont know you..i can tell you that it can get better..i am proof of it..now i have completely turned my life around and all it took was getting off the drugs..good luck
 
Thankyou so much for reply.
If you don't mind me asking did you lose your partner/family while you were at your peak of addiction? What made you realise?
Was there anything your partner did/ could of done to help?
Thankyou so much any advice will be taken on board.
 
I have tried I just do not know what to do anymore.
My daughter and I have spent more of my pregnancy and her life living out of a suitcase he is never the one to leave family home we are, even though he is the one who has made it unsafe for us both with abusive behaviour he still excuses and does not acknowledge honestly I don't think he remembers anything at all.
He sais it is my choice but I can not have my daughter around someone so unpredictable and dangerous.
He believes he needs it as gp's don't help in other words they do not give him the scripts he wants..
My dauughter is just over one she is lucky to be alive after he totalled car with her in it that is one of the two cars he has totalled in last couple of months. Leaving me carless homeless and broke in debt living out of a suitcase whilst he has money a job and made it impossible for me to go back to my contract as he is incapable of looking after our daughter.
There has been many times we have been hurt trying to flee when he loses control which still have not been acknowledged.
He detoxed himself over a few weeks off pst while we were living out of suitcase without our posessions we returned home and now we are here back again and he is being a selfish douche.
I have worked and supported myself and him since before I was 15 now here I am nearly 28 ashamed and humiliated living on a pension something I never would imagine i would have to do as I have always worked.
I am going through really scary health issues at moment and he couldn't care less which has pushed me to the decision to get my own rental for me and bub we move in next Friday. :-) because I believe this stress is doing permanent serious damage to my health which is very evident to those around me.
Today i am applying for child support through officials as he just doesn't care or put in.
I am debt because of him totallying my car I have been given another lucky enough but i am a couple grand in debt from getting it on road.
He just tells me I am the one that needs help and is going to get daughter taken off me (absolutelly no grounds to stand on at all!!!!!)
The sad thing is I have fled him and me and bub are living with my brother who has just been realised from prison and is a family violent offender!!!! He is harmless and actually imprisoned for a lot less than my partner has done.
But he still does not realise he talks shit about me to loved ones while I still hold him on pedestal everyone who knows us knows I have not been treated right for years though so I don't mind so much but it really breaks my heart that he wants to bring me down but he is trying his best literally to destroy me and I don't think I can play nice for much longer as I believe this is causing my serious health problems.
I am walking away I can not help him anymore I have suffered enough in the most precious time of my life having a child.
Thankyou for replies but iknow what I have to do now I have to save myself and daughter and hope one-day soon he wakes up.
 
Yes imho i would try and get him on to suboxan or methadone. .alot of ppl wont agree with me on this but imo being on a long lasting drug l Iike on of these two helps alot...the constant running around lookin for your next high and stealing from loved ones all the negative shit that go's with being addicted is pretty muchout of the way for the person witch in return gives them the time and piece of mind to seriously think about whats best for them and there loved ones..once i know that i was always gonna have what i needed then i started trying to rebuild my life but that would have never happened before cuz all i thought about was were i was going to get my next shit from...if you need any more info from me i would be glad to answer...if i dont see it here just shoot me a pm
 
I would also like to add that you need to put your safety and your daughters first...its okay to try and help him but he HAS to want to be helped aswell otherwise he will never change..i would offer to help him get treatment and make it clear that if hes not willing to do that then you will HAVE to walk away...but my quess is he will be more willing to get on subs or methadone then to just quit flat out...
 
Thanks heaps for replies.
I am walking away and never looking back the non stop mistreatment and him trying to destroy me constantly has done it.
I used to love him but he isn't there anymore he is just someone else entirely......a wanker a full blown up himself, selfish, ignorant, dickbag who thinks he is above everybody when really he just a mean horrible bastard.....ahhhh that felt good! and I really do look forward to my future without him. :-)
I can not help him I have honestly tried he can only help himself which he will not because he sees no problem.
I hope he does succeed in finding his happiness but I can not with him I am done.
I am out done finished totally and utterly given up on him
 
good luck, OP. Get lots of support for yourself and for your daughter. She does not need to grow up with such an unhealthy view of adulthood and you made a very courageous and good decision to turn that around. <3
 
You need to look out for yourself at this point. You've done everything you can, and while yes he can recover, it's past the point of you being able to help. Leave, and do it for you, but keep in mind that losing you just might be the silver bullet he needs. Don't bank on that, just keep in mind that you're not abandoning him, you are potentially curing him (and yourself).

Best of luck. I'm so sorry things are that way for you.
 
Hurting people hurt others, and themselves.
You come first, you are the only person you got. He can change but you need to take care of yourself, regardless of him. Sometimes sticking around can be enabling actually.
I'm off opiates myself, and I also was with an alcoholic for way too long during my 20's… when I wasn't dependent on a drug completely.
But, When I was using Heroin - I couldn't see outside of myself as I was married to the drug (1st) and work, only and that was all that mattered, and my cat. Very very narrow perspective I had…. and a small world I lived in.

When my x tried to kill himself 3xs, he blamed me for not succeeding…

Until one takes responsibility - most often the finger will be pointed outward as the truth is too hard to swallow. To accept the truth, can sometimes mean change, and someone using (especially in a dependent fashion, not on any type of maintenance (methadone, subs etc ...but street drugs), doesn't want to see it. He won't be able to 'see' you truly or what you are dealing with as a loved one … until he makes a change for himself, if that.

Best of luck…. You're worth it!
 
To anyone in a similar position please talk to authorities if ever abused.
Please do not be stupid like me and think you are being kind and that you are the only one who can help them, you can't.
Do not convince yourself it is the substance and that it is not really the person.
Leave, begin again and do not look back.
Otherwise you will be destroyed in every aspect of your life.
They are not or ever will be the person you thought they once were and loved.
Let authorities or someone in a position able to keep record of abuse because in the end they will do all they can to destroy you and when dealing with someone capable of abuse trust me they will destroy you.
They do not care about right or wrong they care about themselves that is it.
Please there is a better life out there to anyone in similar position, we all make our own choices if someone chooses to abuse you make the choice to get far the fuck away from them.
 
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Drugs can bring out a person's True Self. It sounds like the drugs have revealed that your partner is more animal than human. He is a violent beast. He makes all drug users look bad.

Anyway, your story is scary. I take opiates every day, but the worse thing opiates do to me is make me crabby until I've had a couple cups of coffee in the morning. I think if they turned me into what it sounds like your partner is, I'd kill myself rather than putting somebody through what he is doing to you.

Your partner not only needs to quit, but needs intensive therapy.
 
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People like this guy make all opiate addicts look bad because people think this is all on addiction..he has a choice hes not a asshole drug user hes just an asshole..get help please u and your daughter do not deserve this
 
He probably needs help if his personality is that fucked up.

I do know some drug users with families that are doing ok and some that are not.

Your situation sounds like he needs to detox and see a doctor about whether he really needs medication and if so what. Usually when you leave detox they will give you rx's for some things, refferals, and they will urge a 28 day program which would probably help. So I suggest detox. As to approaching the subject, people only get help when they want it.
 
Holy bejeebus!
2 years on and I would never like to be known as a liar but it's proven with my last post. :0
I went back to him after 6 or so mths in my own place with bub.
Sadly it was because he had a seizure whilst driving crashed pretty bad completely totalled (luckily 5 star safety rating) car making it his 3rd totalled car within less than a year and he needed care and honestly it scared the shit out of me that I could of lost him.

I know/believe the seizure was due to withdrawals from rc benzos. But he claims epilepsy to all which I find insulting in a way to actual epilepsy sufferers that haven't really had a choice in their seizures.

We plodded along for a while, us all back as a family, he was working and because I was the one at home not working I felt guilty... I ignorned what was getting him through, I turned a blind eye out of guilt ...? I ignored what was really happening again or had just been continued....?

It was nice being a happy family again watching bub grow just appreciating it because we both wanted it so much but both kind of know it's not going to work..

I even ignored/blocked the 4th totalled car within a year, my last asset...gone. And there is so much lies, deceit, resentment, all unspoken, left in the past stuff, underlying stuff and the constant moods all ignored.

So it was like real highs and real lows we went through together which I don't think is ideal for raising a bub.

Then he had a seizure while i was with him one day when he got home from work, it was fucking scary, I thought he was dying. It was really scary, it was lucky bub was asleep I did not know what to do at all, it felt like forever it was horrific, a seriously frightening fucked up nightmare it felt like he was dying, it was traumatic and I'd been through some shit but that was scary.
I called ambos who arrived an hr after his over 10min seizure.
That seizure he landed on his shoulder, he worked 3 mths labour, 8 visits to gp....undiagnosed with a dislocated broken shoulder, complaining to boss but by then he had already had time of work to detox off PST etc and they're shit employers anyway. So the kents fired him. (Was on waiting list for over 3mths for surgery giving them right to fire him.)

Oh shit sorry this ia going forever.... Try cut short...

Anyway he is fired, license less which sucks we live remote and useless after surgery on his shoulder...we live on a big property... and still drug dependant on shit he shouldn't be with his anti epileptic medicine.

But good news :D It took three days of me and bub sleeping rough (we had to leave because of his withdrawals and moods again) and he has stepped up and shipped out.
:D
Sad that I consider this an accomplishment now in my life/family/relationship......he leaves when he fucks instead of me and bub.

He said he's getting off everything for good this time but I have kinda lost hope and I do love him but we're still young and I have made the decision already that I don't want to be his "carer" for the rest of my life so here's hoping he will realise this before it's too late.

I really appreciate my old posts now (even though they're embarrassing as hell) I urge anyone to write a diary, put it out there somewhere because otherwise if you are like me you keep reliving, forgetting, not learning and repeating over and over.

Cheers bluelight :D cheers to small steps ;?
 
I really appreciate everyone's feedback......but I'm just going to ignore the comments, truth, the right thing to do because. ......IgnoranceIsBliss. Xo
 
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