Addiction to the adrenaline and relief caused by intense paranoia and it's passing

[jsbach7]

It probably sounds outrageous and unreal, but back when I did drugs I was hooked on self inducing extreme paranoia by way of amphetamine overdose, cannabis use, taking heavy doses of LSD during an upper crash or withdrawal from other drug, etc. Also, the physical aspect of stimulant overdose was another problem.

I'm curious to find out if anyone else has had similar experience with this or knows anyone who has.

It still barely makes sense to me, however I believe it has something to do with the adrenaline rush caused by the level of fear, loss of control and the sense of total relief when I woke up the next morning, which was a long, more realistic high.

Eventually it got to be too much and I quit using all together, but if anyone else has a similar experience, please message me if you feel like talking about it. I haven't met anyone yet but I'm sure there is someone out there who knows what I'm talking about, maybe more people than I realize


Just going to throw it out there, be careful how you dose whichever substances you use. You never know when you are going to have a bad trip and end up seriously injuring your mind or body. In the end, the people you love might pay the price for your reckless decisions.


Safe/happy tripping,
JS

 

[pasha]

Moving this to The Dark Side.

Homeless -> TDS

And welcome to Bluelight!

 

[Get2Think]

I'm to tired to really say much now, but I'll comment later because yes like you I would put myself into dangerous and stupid drug-related experiences. Are you ADD by any chance?

 

[jsbach7]

My doctor prescribed me Adderall because I was experiencing many of the same symptoms as ADD, I think it was caused by drug use though. I had to stop taking Adderall because I abused it and it just aggravated my daily paranoia.

It's good to know I'm not alone in this though, thanks a lot for responding.

 

[FnX]

It probably sounds outrageous and unreal

You know actually I think it makes sense, I just haven't thought about it before. It's like, powerful experiences sort of re-wire your brain by leaving intense memories for instance. Like digging a new ditch among the neurons. Then eventually this state becomes familiar and you get accustomed to it, it starts to feel good or right in a very weird way. I'm not sure if addiction is the right word though, some kind of compulsion maybe...? Maybe the brain sees the paranoia as something that is required to feel relief so for the purpose of generating relief, it starts to generate paranoid feelings.

I've always found paranoid feelings very obsessive in the sense that you just can't stop thinking about them, they feel so important and I feel very guilty if I ignore them. The brain is literally shouting "LOOK THERE'S DANGER AND THERE TOO AND THERE AND THERE AND THERE..." and I just spend all of my energy trying to calm the mind down like soothing some distressed child. I feel that it actually releases a lot of neurotransmitters and that my mental capacity is, in a way, higher than normally. Higher cognitive capabilities, but they're sort of directed in the wrong place. I'm addicted to intelligence, total sucker for anything that boosts cognition or mental capabilities, even if it hurts like hell.

 

[jsbach7]

Yeah, complusion sounds a lot more suitable. Good post man, you're definately right about the heightened mental capacity. Usually it's accompanied by a realization of glaring mistakes that I made or things that I have to set right, which I would normally ignore. They make a lot of sense at the time, regardless of how paranoid I am.

I think Salvador Dali used to do something similar when he was painting.
"The Surrealists hailed what Dalí called his paranoiac-critical method of accessing the subconscious for greater artistic creativity." - Taken from the Dali page on wikipedia.


EDIT: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoiac-critical_method

 

[herbavore]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epinephrine

Having raised two "adrenaline fiends" I can attest to the fact that this is something that certain natures crave. My sons did this long before drugs and it did not surprise me that my younger son's downfall was stimulants wen he did lose control with drug use. I think that the more you can put adrenaline into your life without drugs, the better. There are so many ways to do this in the natural world. I think it is a need for some people to feel alive and I can respect that.

 

[SececaRD]

Not sure I this is the same thing.

I used to shoot a lot of crack back on the day. It used to make me so paranoid I used to see people on building watching me, people were in the heating vents, exc. of course they really wernt there but I used to trip hardcore. I though they were trying to kill me also. I used to sit in my apt and just trip out hardcore. Finally I'd come down and realize I was just tripping but I'd do this over and over again. I believe I was addicted to the adrenaline also.