Addiction and chronic pain

[Tedders2601]

Well I broke my back in the Marines jumping out of a helicopter back in 2008 long story short was out on pain meds and it really got out of hand so rehabs, teen challenge, and lots of jail I got sober. Then on 1-20-14 I was in a really bad car accident after 1.5 yrs sober in which I broke my face, skull, neck, back, pelvis, and lots of internal injuries and a TBI. Whilst in the hospital I was on tons of meds all the way through all the rehab learning to walk etc. well cutting to the chase I took my meds as prescribed as I had to live with my parents because of medical issues and they also played the role of what my dad likes to call "pill monkey" and gave them to me as directed. We thought it would be best if I tried to live with out them so I have been completely off of them for like 5 months and it has been miserable. I am in so much pain that I literally spend 80% of my time in bed. It was super hard and only has gotten worse as I just had to have my last surgery repairing the damage that the seat belt did to my abdomen and was given a prescription for 120mg of oxy a day. I only took them for five days and even though I just had surgery I was in less pain overal than I've been in since I quit pain medicine all together. I've been back on my program of pain and hatred for life in general for five days and can't stop thinking why the hell do I deserve a life of bed ridden misery when there is medicine that can help me greatly. I bounce back an forth between you are an addict and I deserve this because I've done a lot of bad, back to no eff this I deserve to have pain control. But I am an addict. Idk what to do I keep thinking if I can't have my parents help me with my medicne intake I could do the the methadone clinic. I'm at the end of my rope here and I know I can't live like this but I also don't know if I can ever make opioid therapy work. I guess I'm just crying out for anyone's opinion on the subject and am curious if anyone out there has ever been in my shoes and what did they do? Has anyone been an addict and had to resume taking pain meds? How did they go about it? Thanks everyone for reading this.

 

[CamaroChick]

I feel you. I have 3 bad discs in my back with scoliosis and some other issues and am currently getting off oxy. I need it for the pain but I'm tired of being shackled to it and ready to explore other options.

 

[belfort]

ive had back problems for a long time, got on oxy and other pain meds and they only amplified the pain i was suffering from..i was always scared to go off the pain meds because of my pain, i didnt realize that they were making my pain worse..there is a term for this, i forget what its called..

 

[shroomster]

Dude, I am in a very similar position.

I'm VERY much into lifting weights and jiu jitsu and just being very active in general. That's my life, really. However, I am in almost constant chronic pain in my legs, hips and back. So much so that I've resorted to self medicating with heroin. Everytime I get clean for a few days, the pain brings me right back. I dont have insurance, otherwise I would find someone to prescribe me pain meds.

 

[Tedders2601]

Well I decided to go and try low dose buprenorphine for the pain as I have always been able to take that drug as prescribed because after a handful of times taking it I've came to learn mostly through the hard way that it is not a drug for getting high on. I know that methadone would be the better pain reliever out of the two maintenance drugs available but idk if I'm ready to deal with the clinic and all of their bull shit again. Been there done that... Plus the closest clinic is an hour away.
Hey shroomster ^^ive been in your exact same shoes with no insurance, a lot of pain, and bouncing back and forth to H. I know the methadone clinic sucks atleast I hate going everyday but it's a lot safer and usuAlly less expensive than doing dope. Plus methadone is one hell of a pain killer. I wish that it was easier to get from a doctor in amounts greater than just 30mg a day because it takes me like around 70-90mgs to zap my pain. When I was in your shoes I went to the clinic. I'd go straight back if I was in that situation again in a heartbeat.

 

[Tedders2601]

Well I'm taking 2mg of bupe every 6 hrs and it's working great right now. I'm just worried that you know how bupe always makes you feel pretty good if you don't have a currently going addiction and then you get acclimated to it and then it just keeps you normal most of y'all that have taken it know what I mean. I'm just praying that when that new bupe user glow wears off the pain relief stays because if this doesn't work I'm gonna have to go back or full agonists again. Because after I posted that first post I would up in the hospital because I tried to kill my self but my dad found me passed out on the ground with my wrists cut. I just can't take this f&$$!?@ pain anymore. So I'm gonna try a lil bupe first.

 

[shroomster]

Well I'm taking 2mg of bupe every 6 hrs and it's working great right now. I'm just worried that you know how bupe always makes you feel pretty good if you don't have a currently going addiction and then you get acclimated to it and then it just keeps you normal most of y'all that have taken it know what I mean. I'm just praying that when that new bupe user glow wears off the pain relief stays because if this doesn't work I'm gonna have to go back or full agonists again. Because after I posted that first post I would up in the hospital because I tried to kill my self but my dad found me passed out on the ground with my wrists cut. I just can't take this f&$$!?@ pain anymore. So I'm gonna try a lil bupe first.

Man, I know how hard pain can be. You're just trying to get on with your life and you have this thing out of your control that's bringing you down. Have you considered Physical therapy? Physical therapy has done great things for my back. I've gotten a ton of relief from it.

 

[Tedders2601]

Well I was right in the middle of the physical therapy for my neck and back after the car wreck in January but in April during the therapy I got rushed back to the hospital for internal injuries that took a few months to show their ugly face basically my bowels had died from impact injuries and they take a while to shrivel small enough that nothing can pass anymore. So I never finished my therapy and trying to do it without meds just sounded to shitty to try. That's why they normally have you do it before you stop your pain meds lol. It was an unfortunate situation that I went through last year. That's stood idea I should do some more therapy now and see if it gets any better thanks