• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

addicted to versed and opiate

B

bbgirlclueless

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
140
my familiy found out about my benzo drug usage because i was slurring my words (god...) and asked me for a urine sample,i shamedly admitted to taking benzo tablets so the panel wouldnt show opiates and marijuana.
i take versed for moderate to severe social and performance anxiety....
my life is being controlled by versed,its expensive and most of my pay goes in it,but withrawal makes me feel paranoid,sick with anxiety,convinced that everyone knows im an addict,i have a psychological anxiety related problem that makes it difficult for me to interact with people and do activities normally,even going to the mall becomes an awful impossible feat (dont judge..) and im usually really depressed because of this,versed helps me with that,although versed depresses me further as its a benzo but allows me to do work...nubain perks me up and i feel happier...i dont know how to deal with any of this.im tired of spending my money on this,my family's told me if they ever find me slurring they'll simply ask for a urine sample,but i cant leave these right now...i was going to make an arrangement on the coming monday to get versed free from someone daily for a fixed amount per month,but i'd have to take lots of versed for the courage to do that,and i'll be slurring with possibly my mother visiting me at work to get me lunch,(im 17) i live in india and its taboo here for girls to do drugs,if people find out it ruins lives...its terrible and an awful society. i dont know how to leave opiates and versed at the same time....my therapist cannot conceal my drug activity from my parents so i cant talk to him about that...i dont know...sorry for the long post guys....but please help...
 
Last edited:
hey bb.

im pretty close to your age, so maybe itd be easier to relate to you.

i also had an opiate addiction..pretty severe.
i used benzos graciously as well. its a nasty mix of so many downers..

But a piece of advice is if your trying to quit..dont do both at once. it sets you up for twice the chance of a failure.
i suggest opiates first, and use the benzos to help with withdrawal.

after you have some clear from the opiates, taper your benzos off a little bit at a time. Do not stop immediately, benzo withdrawal can be fatal.
Seizures and shit....you dont want that.

i had 6 months clean the first time without any rehab, because that wasnt my first plan of action, although the detox at most rehabs helps a lot because they can rapid taper, or send you cold turkey, safely and effectively.

im sorry to hear about whats been going on, and i hope you can get clean without any (Or minimal) negative side affects :)

its worth it..i never thought id be happy clean but it gets a lot better. and when your W/D'ing ..dont give up. it will be hell
you just gotta stick through it, because after its over..you'll never wanna go back after an opiate home detox. the only positive you have is the benzos to help with sleeping and anxiety.

good luck man, hope i hear you posting on here that you got clean. PM me if you have any questions or wanna talk..you can do it :)
 
how exactly did you come to get hooked on versed? midazolam is usually used in surgery, dont really see it much like the more common benzos like xanax, valium, ativan, ect...

opium is correct tho, dont stop the benzos cold turkey. you could have a seizure, possibly die if you are using that much. my sister had 2 xanax WD induced seizures.
 
Thanks opium,your support really means a lot,,and thanks for replying medicine cabinet,people here do care about each other,i wonder if anywhere around people have hurt their family with their habit,because i have,my family loves me so and i still dont quit because its extremely hard to deal with the anxiety issues i have and trying to lead a normal life...if i didnt have them i would stop drugs

The last time i quit i had acute withrawal for nine days,perhaps it was shorter because versed is short actng,drugs are sold without prescription here in india.

Additionally im worried i might have given myself or my family hep c,god i wish i hadnt done it.
 
No problem, sorry it took me a while to respond I had work.

First off, it's not good to hurt family..but it comes with the territory. Your not the only addict to do it, I've lied and stolen from my family more times than I can count. Even after this I kept my habit going longer than it should of.
And my power to quit was I was sick of the bullshit.

You may not see it now, but drugs eventually bring legal trouble. That's some shot that won't leave your record if you get possession. Not good bb..not the road anyone should have to go down.

You need a reason why you want to quit. It has to mean something to you, so you stick to it. Addicts can't be forced to quit, they have to decide for themselves. You can only find the power to quit when you've had enough.

I had a shit job with 10 hours a week, couldn't pay my rent ...shit I couldn't even afford to buy my cigs.. was looking at a lot of trouble too. Basically a rock bottom.

So you gotta find something you care about, or are sick of, that really convince you to quit...

Hope everything works out.
Respect to you for trying to straighten your life out
 
Thatnks opium,im grateful u responded,i hope u dont mind if i ask what u were taking,was it h? Ive been using this for social anxiety and a peculiar condition that makes me doubt everything i say or do,it makes it hard for me to do my job,make friends,have a boyfriend.the only boyfriend i had icouldnt manage my relationship with him because of tons of psychological issues,he ignored me,flirtes with other girls behind my back,didnt give a zilch about me,and casually told me he was moving to another town,my self esteem was so low due to a psychological 'talking' problem that i thought i deserved it,but now i know i didnt,he tried to use me physically only,the bastard :) i changed my no. Though and hopefully wouldnt give him the time of day now,though he's visiting the city soon and will get in contact,i just hope i can have the courage to say no,its just something inside me wants to impossibly fix everything with him as if doing that will 'fix' the past and give my self esteem back to me. I dont know if uve gone through benzo withtawals but in em things uve done,lied about,cheated hurt ten times worse in it until u just cant take it and inject to forget the pain.

I want to quit because im seeing a therapist and he can only help me if i let go od drugs,get into normal shape,otherwise i wouldnt even remember anything he's told me...

It must have taken great courage to quit drugs,and i honestly respect u for that as well

Good luck,and stay healthy,and clean :)
 
sorry about all the stuff thats going on..nobody should have to deal with all that at 17
and that dude...if hes gonna treat you like that, he dosent deserve you. Dont waste your time.

And yes, i used h, and oxys/perks
ive also used benzos. ive been through withdrawal for both.
Neither are pleasant, but after going through them, you find a whole new outlook on the drug you were taking, and how evil it can be verse how greatly you think it has helped you.

True though, drugs take the pain away a great deal...like why deal with it, when you could blow a line or shoot up some dope and just forget about it all together?
Dealing with the pain makes us better people...the things ive done were so bad to me, i have a new appreciation for when things go good :)

i think a therapist could be the best thing for you, to help with the self esteem. She'll be able to help give you coping skills to use besides substance abuse.

Keep me updated on how everythings going bb, if you have any more questions just hmu.
and i have a little over a month clean time, its a rough deal but its worth it in the end.

<3
 
I remember your other thread, you where scared about getting hepatitis right? But you didn't share needles so I think you're ok. I'm glad you are trying to get off the opiates and benzos. You have a good hospital job and have much to look forward to. You will need to quit slowly, as Opiate said so you don't suffer through withdrawals. Be strong. Is it possible to find a support group in India? If not, we're always here!
 
Yes calderone,im trying to quit but my plan was to quit one first,the opiate,then the other.i need to sleep right now or venzo wtw will start,i have some bromazepam and that helps a bit but i dropped my ampoules on the floor and an worried if someone might find the shards..

Thanks for the advice opium...its just awfully tough,in wtw right now im thinking im being a huge burden and wasting ur time, i have my money in my account but im scared coz i cant activate my card coz the people wont pick up the phone,i dont want to steal from my parents,id rather kill myself then having to think about that later (figuratively) ive run out off both the benzo and opiate and the op wtw is starting,the benzo wtw wudb there when i wake up and there wud be a strong urge to take a lexotanil,but i musnt because i need them to go get some benzos (i have social anxiety!) its afternoon here and it going to be a tough day and night people,i hope someobe can hold my hand thru it,that i wont take a lexotanil today.but it might come to a horrible end if i wake up three hrs later and find my parents waving ampoule shards ib my face.. Thanks for the words of hope
 
nah your not a huge burden, were all here to help :)

and im thinking you should see a doctor so he can diagnose you with anxiety, then you can take your benzos legally, and have a safer dose.

you'll get through it, just stay strong :)
and the shards, id just brush them around..if their not all together in a pile, i doubt your parents would see them unless they're looking for them.

Good luck bb :D
 
I was being paranoid after all,ur right no one found anything,thanks for wishing me luck,ur a good support to people around here. Good luck
 
hey bbgirl, been there, done that, too... I found it horrible to hurt the people I loved, and even more horrible how they thought I was being careless when in fact I was so full of shame and guilt because of that. But you know what? You can't care about them AND you when you're such a mess, it's enough to sort your own life out for once.

I'd advise you to take it slowly. It would be a good step to substitute versed with another longer acting benzo, which will be cheaper I suppose, al lot less hussle and allow you to do a taper, diazepam would be ideal. Seems like you can't afford to go into full blown withdrawal since you don't want your parents to notice sth. Then reduce slowly, like 10% of your dosage each week. If you need help or just wanna talk, write me a pm if you like, I'm not always online but I'll answer you as soon as I read from you.

Good luck!
 
Ur right van,i have to take things slowly,i'll definitely pm u if i need help.versed is expensive,but i swear it acute wtw lasts only 9 days,if i substituted it with longer acting benzos i would definitely relapse,since i couldnt feel tense for a whole month.and know what,longer acting benzos e.g bromazepam (12 hrs) last only 4 hours in me due to very high tolerance,so i think i should try to take hell for 9 days : ) i'll pm u if i need to talk,thank u,van were u able to wtw safely?
 
Another thing i need to ask is (i cant pm you i cant seem to find the option on the cell phone site :) ) is that after acute opiate wtw is cleared,i read it takes a week if u havent used too long (?) does depression come along,even if u dont have clinical depression?

I dont have clinical but im usually depressed because i use versed/benzos to cope with my anxiety and inability to properly interact with people. When 'PAWS' occurs do u think chances of relapse might be high in this situation,specially if a person is taking benzos in paws which sort of make u feel that its okay to take the 'happy drug' once more

I dont have much experience with it..what do you think?

Nb i ve been using nalbuphine (nubain) for a month about three times a day.
 
I feel for your situation and feel lucky to be born in canada.

As for you problem id come of the opiates first and stay at the same dose of what ever benzo you are taking. You feel like shit stopping opiates but nothing harmful can happen. If you suddenly stop taking benzos you could have a grand Mal seizure and die. You NEED to taper the dose of the benzos slowly. You doctor should know this.

Good luck,
Chris
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top