addicted to the process of shooting up

[merelyexisting]

HELP: addicted to the process of shooting up??

HELP! I think I might be addicted to the process of shooting up??8(
I have been clean for a couple of months now (which is a huge feat) and I have done it on my own. Unfortunately, I find myself CONSTANTLY thinking about hitting a vein...like literally, just the process of getting a shot fixed and drawing back and seeing that flash of blood.
Because of this, I started just doing it with water. I don't ever inject the water though. The thing is, my veins suck. They have always sucked (even before I started doing it recreationally). So, even though I am not injecting any substance into my veins, I am poking and prodding my arms trying to find veins.
Could I now be addicted to the PROCESS of shooting up? Is this normal? I find myself doing this at least once a day, if not more. Initially, I justified it because I was no longing actually shooting up and injecting myself with harmful substances. But, I now find doing this process is consuming my thoughts.
Currently, I am feeling a bit distraught about it...feeling a bit alone and maybe stupid for doing this (which I know its stupid) but I could really use some feedback and/or insight. Any tips or suggestions on how to make myself not do this or how to (for lack of better words) make my thoughts UNconsumed with this?

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey merely and a warm welcome to BL Congratulations on the amazing push to clean up and stay that way. Now the work needs to be put in so that the experience is peaceful and positive

Addiction has very complex processes that go along with it. Please view this short radio lab production and a little time to read over this thread. Very relevant topics will include how the dopamine release precedes earlier and earlier with the monkey. Dopamine is all about recognizing patterns that associate with acquiring positive rewards (and the avoidance of negative consequences is just as significant). This is the cause of addict rituals. You are receiving a high and being driven at sequences in a pattern the brain has identified as positive to engage in. This presents a danger to you. You will need to address your addiction and return the homeostasis of power in your brain. What are you doing to do this?




The Brain and Addiction

You can and will work your way out of this

 

[harmacologist]

the ritual of the preparation to get high is very important for people. some people love to chop their blow, gum some, then do a line, other people cook their dope in certain ways, and I love to sit down and grind some weed and roll a fat one.

I realized that when I stopped bad rituals, I missed them, so I started new ones.

A coffee and a muffin in the morning became a smoothie and a bike ride.

Instead of rolling joints, I tie my shoe laces and jog.

 

[merelyexisting]

@neversickanymore
Thank you very much! Will you now please help me to better understand how dopamine is involved in what I am doing?

 

[merelyexisting]

the ritual of the preparation to get high is very important for people. some people love to chop their blow, gum some, then do a line, other people cook their dope in certain ways, and I love to sit down and grind some weed and roll a fat one.

I realized that when I stopped bad rituals, I missed them, so I started new ones.

A coffee and a muffin in the morning became a smoothie and a bike ride.

Instead of rolling joints, I tie my shoe laces and jog.

Any advice as to what I should do instead?

 

[harmacologist]

Any advice as to what I should do instead?

every time you want to shoot up, rub vitamin e on your skin where you may have scars (or ointment on wounds).

replace bad habits with goods ones.

find what works for you, blah blah, can only show you a path, can't walk down it for you.

good luck and peace.

 

[merelyexisting]

every time you want to shoot up, rub vitamin e on your skin where you may have scars (or ointment on wounds).

replace bad habits with goods ones.

find what works for you, blah blah, can only show you a path, can't walk down it for you.

good luck and peace.

Thank you! I will try the rubbing vitamin e thing! Thank you so much!

 

[herbavore]

harmacologist has hit the nail on the head IMO. We like rituals and replacement is a great strategy. A friend of mine used to have a picture of his son on a little shelf with a candle by it. Every time he was struggling to resist a craving he would light the candle and perhaps more importantly, when the craving passed, he would blow it out. That way he was able to acknowledge that while they felt insurmountable initially, they didn't actually last that long.