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Addicted to Norco - Need to break FREE

G

ggirl92

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Joined
May 15, 2014
Messages
16
I'm new here and feeling pretty hopeless and out of control. I'm addicted to Norco 10/325 pills for about a year. It started off as an occasional fun, pick-me-up thing but found myself a year go needing them to get up and function. Without my daily dose of three immediately after opening my eyes, I'm racked with severe anxiety and panic. Physical withdrawal symptoms quickly follow. If I don't have these pills I flat out will do nothing except mope and be sick. I feel miserable. I'm a mom of two boys and have an excellent job and I can't care about any of it unless I'm loaded on pills. I hate what I've become and I'm ready for it to change and have my life back! I've confided in no one and do not want to. My behavior is erratic but no one has said a word but I'm sure I can't hide it for long, I'm just not myself and I've been blaming it on depression. I'm struggling financially to buy pills and pay my bills. I don't feel like I can tell anyone because I don't want to be labeled. I have an awesome boyfriend (who does not use) and I'm afraid he'll leave me and I don't want to disappoint my parents. I just need to pick myself up and do it alone.


So my boys will be with their father this summer (that's our visitation agreement) and I want to take the opportunity to get clean. I can't take any real time off work because my drug addiction has has impacted my job to the point of being written up. Taking time off no matter the circumstance would be heavily frowned upon. I work for a big medical company and unfortunately am insured through them as well. If I decide on a treatment program I will have to pay out of pocket to keep it confidential.


I'm just confused what avenue I should choose for treatment. Suboxone or taper? Currently I take about 20 / 10mg pills a day. I'm not prescribed the amount of pills I take (my doc gives me 60 5mg pills a month) but does not know the amount I really take. I find the other supply on the street. I've looked in to Suboxone but is it for Norco addiction? It seems like it's used to treat heavier opiate addiction and I'm scared I'm trading a small addiction for a bigger addiction that will be harder to get off later on. I've tried CT but landed in the ER thinking I was going to die. Was given diladid and felt like a million bucks and was sent on my way and got my pills the very next day. I'm calling the dentist for pills when my dealer is out and I am a desperate drug addict and I hate myself. I need to get serious and I want to do it over the summer. I feel sick, have gained a ton of weight and am so broke and unhappy and I've considered ending it all. I need help and am ready to do it but have no one to turn to and am confused on the route I should take. I'm not sure I could manage a taper myself but will try if it's the best bet. The clinics I've called push Suboxone but I'm not 100% sure that's the best thing for me. Please help! Thank you!
 
First of all, calm down you're going to be ok. There are ways to detox from opiates in relative comfort. I have a lot of experience in this area like many who post here. I would suggest browsing some of the withdrawal threads for more information.

You are on a high enough dose to warrant suboxone in my opinion, I'd definitely recommend it over a direct taper. However I would like you to consider using kratom instead. It's less addictive than suboxone and quite effective at managing opiate withdrawal (I recently used it to detox from heroin) and it's legal. You could also use a combination of suboxone and kratom, that is the most ideal way to detox in my opinion suboxone to kratom to nothing but its not really necessary to have both. Best of luck.
 
IF you choose sub, don't stay on for more than a week at low doses and make sure u quickly taper to a sub milligram dose. It will be very manageable when you stop...a couple days of no energy, crappy sleep but totally doable. I would be more concerned at the amount of acetaminophen you r putting in your body...very bad.

Kratom is another option as before mentioned.....it tastes like powdered cow Ass but it works...you could also easily get some clonidine from your doctor if you tell him / her what's up....most docs support this kinda thing.

One more thing , if u do the sub thing u will be very tempted to stay on it cuz u feel good...read around about people stuck on sub..you'll see how that goes.
 
Thank you for both your responses!

Yes-I am extremely concerned about my Tylenol intake. I am crazy and this cannot continue. My kids are out of school in two weeks so I'm praying my body will hang on until then.

I've researched many threads regarding Suboxone and detox but didn't know if Suboxone was the best thing for me, but it sounds like this is the best option. So a week should be sufficient? Also I'll look into Kratom - how long should I be on that and are there any reactions between the two?

I can't believe I've gotten myself in this situation.
 
Oh I have a prescription for Xanax and Seroquel. I take the Xanax as needed (maybe 1x/week). I read somewhere that Seroquel may help, any insight on that?

I'm scared to ask for Clonidine and alert my doc. Like I mentioned I'm employed through the same HMO organization I'm insured through. I cannot take any risks being labeled a drug user there - I'd risk being fired and going through their treatment program would be required, which apparently sucks. I'm trying to think where else I could get Clonidine or if there's an alternative?
 
First off, you're not the first or last person to get into this situation, so please calm down. I understand the situation you're in & you want no one to find out because of the circumstances surrounding your job & family, how your peers will look down on you.

If you feel so strongly about no one finding out, you could really focus on getting clean for your children, they're the most important in your life.


Like others have stated, you could try Kratom & its legal......your habit of (20) norcos a day is a high enough habit to be able to get on sub's but like others have mentioned, you would be better off going with Kratom & if you have some Valium or Xanax for the restless nights coming. I know it will be hard, but exercise is very important on getting back on the sober path.

Please search this site & you can find other great information on getting off opiates & getting your life back........good luck!
 
Ok, I am just gonna lay out what I think with honesty, take what u want from it and ditch the rest, while reading your posts here is what I am getting,. You know u are getting outta control but you r scared of being without your medicine..this is a recipe for failure for many a junkie including myself. No matter which route you choose, sub, CT, comfort meds, taper..your biggest alliance will be with your mind. Go into this thing prepared to suffer no matter which route you take. I don't care which route you take but one thing I can promise you is there will be a level of suffering and that's where your mind becomes your biggest friend or worst enemy.

If you choose the sub, a clinic is going to induct you WAY too high...at least 8 mg. In my opinion, the way to use sub is just enough to get u thru your day..which in your case should be no more than 2 mg on day one, will you feel great...no but you will get by with a bit of effort. Don't be tempted to take more, get down to about .25 in about a week then jump...it will be kinda shitty but totally managable. Also, u don't use the kratom until after u drop the sub...not while on sub as it would be ineffective due to subs binding affinity.

On another thought, I think this being your first real detox, I think you owe it to yourself to do a cold turkey with a couple comfort meds, it will be about 3 days of he'll and another week of a really bad cold with little to no sleep BUT when u get thru that experience will burn bright in your mind and help you to stay away from relapse....maybe.

I have detoxes countless times..usually from 200mg or so of oxy and for me....the quick sub taper is best BUT even that gets harder and harder every time..Do it once and u never have to walk this path again, also, when u do detox and get clean be prepared for everything to suck for a while...all you enjoy now will suck for quite some time but just force yourself to stay busy and don't let you mind get the best of you cuz it is gonna try it's best to do so
 
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^^^^^

Yes, very much so.......like the above poster mentioned, everything you do will feel like you need to use extra energy just to perform the simplistic of tasks.

You will get bored very quickly & your mind will say, go ahead, take 1 vicodin & everything will be great again. You will get tempted to jump back in because of the boredom setting in.......you will also get a helpless feeling, anxiety, depression, etc......for as good as opiates make you feel, the other side lies the dark side of opiates.

Try to focus on your kids......they are the best reason for you to quit & get sober.

Once you do get thru the hardest part of quitting & getting sober, start exercising.......try to get yourself feeling those natural endorphins you get from breaking a sweat exercising, playing sports, etc.
 
Yeah exercise and an active lifestyle def help you return to homeostasis faster.

I want to touch and just slightly challenge a comment from the above poster and I think he / she will agree, While focusing on your kids will occupy your mind, they will not get you clean. Just the fact that you have to be a mom is not enough to get youclean, you have to flat out want it for you!, not ur mom, not ur dad, not even your children can rescue you from the throws of addiction....it's all you baby! Here for ya in the meantime. Always like to see a success story.
 
Thank you to everyone for your responses, I appreciate them more than you know. Just knowing I'm not alone makes me feel so much better.

I hear what everyone is saying about my children and believe me they are a motivating force! However, I can't care for them if I'm stuck in this place. They are a little bit older which helps some (14&10) but they still need me which is why I'm choosing to suffer through all this while they're gone so I can be better when they come home.

I'm gonna conquer this - I am just scared. I've run out of pills before, between 24-36 hours and I felt like dying. The Thomas Recipe didn't do squat for me and I was racked with anxiety. My mind could not stop thinking about those pills for one second. When I could get more consumed me. I'm just not sure I'm strong enough to go CT but I'm considering all options. I'll have to be CT for a certain period of time before I can begin Suboxone anyways so if I can conquer my mind maybe I can push on with the thought I can resort to it if need be. Just a thought.
 
For me, my relapses never came during the acute part, it was always when I felt better and always by telling myself...ahhh, just today! The fact that you can't make it 24 hours without severe anxiety Sux, you really have to get control of your mind, it is the meds making you this way, you just gotta grind thru that first week.

I really think you need some 3D support, a close friend, maybe mom or dad? I think in your case u need it. Any meetings in ur area, they aren't for me but can be helpful for some....be prepared to see people faaaaaar worse off than you if u go..and u can care for them while it doing this...u just gotta dig deep....I have four young ones and I manage...def not easy but it gets done, if u sit there and dwell u will enter a whole new hell and u r already starting on that path...do a 180 degree turn now...tough love!!
 
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Also, and this is just me...I would ditch the benzo, not gonna help much during opiate wd..not worth the trade off....low dose seroquel can be helpful with sleep but keep it between 25-100 mg..pref on the lower end. It is a double edge sword tho cuz of u don't fall asleep u will feel worse.

I can't imagine your doctor ratting you out either, irk, sounds rather petty. Most docs readily give clonidine which is soo helpful...much more than any benzo.
 
Look, when I was 15 my mom took a handful of dilaudid, followed by a handful of valium, all gulped down with 100 proof vodka. She didn't die. Instead, she had a deep vein thrombosis. She had 15 Angora rabbits that died while she was in the hospital. Think of all that wasted wool. Now? She's living on the streets of Detroit. With a man named Mouse. I've seen her once in the past 5 years, and her arms were covered in oozing abscesses and festering pustules. All her veins are gone, and they had to remove a huge chunk of her left thigh from where she tried to muscle a shot when she couldn't hit any veins.

Coincidentally, she started her descent into madness with a single prescription of 10/325 hydrocodone/acetaminophen. She kept renewing them. Eventually convinced to doc to bump her up to Oxycodone/acetaminophen. Then, the huge amounts of acetaminophen started to affect her liver, so the doc prescribed her 15mg Oxycodone IR. Then, she met a black man called Marlo. They began dating. I could hear them having sex at night. I missed my Dad.

He introduced her to heroin. Took her back to his hometown - Detroit. She left her job in health care, left me, left my family. And she never came back.

All because of 10/325

10/325

The magic numbers that began not only my Mom's spiral into chaos, but was my first experience with opiates as well. The first numbers for many, many people.
 
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HFA thank you for sharing your heartbreak. Wow! Your message is loud and clear.

I'm confused on the Suboxone treatment for only a week. Will a week make a difference? When I called about the program they talk about treatment in months. Even then I was thinking a month, two tops but a week doesn't seem like enough. Can you help me understand?
 
When on low dose for a week or so it allows u , in ur case , to step off vicodin a bit easier ( still rough),with very minimal wd from the sub itself and while u are on the sub for such a short time at low dose u don't get tempted to stay on it

With the month long tapers , it is pretty painless until u get below say 1 mg, cuz like I said, a sub Dr. Is gonna start u waaaaaY too high. You will face sub wd after a month long taper and they will last a few weeks but will be less in intensity than an soa but the drawn out wd makes it worse in my opinion. U could even try a single high dose after about 36 hours of your last Vic, say 8mgs of sub and just don't take anymore and let the sub taper itself.....after about three days u will start to feel a bit crappy but nothing like CT.

Like I said before, since it is basically ur first real detox and u have the time to pull it off, your safest bet to come out without trading is CT...IT IS not as bad as u r thinking, u just need to adjust ur mindset. If, and this is a big If, u stay on subs, it will be light years harder to kick than your vicodin...trust u me!!!! U would rather deliver ur children ten times over with no epideral than go thru full blown sub wd, I have witnessed it first hand and it was a month of acute wd coming off 6 mg a day
 
For me, my relapses never came during the acute part, it was always when I felt better and always by telling myself...ahhh, just today!
Click to expand...

Same here. During the acute phase I am serious about wanting to stop but after I feel much better and can function again without opiates, but still can't sleep at night, that is when I relapse. I think oh ill just do a tiny bit so I can get some sleep or get a few things done or just relax a little and then next thing I know I am hooked again.
 
ggirl92 said:
HFA thank you for sharing your heartbreak. Wow! Your message is loud and clear.

I'm confused on the Suboxone treatment for only a week. Will a week make a difference? When I called about the program they talk about treatment in months. Even then I was thinking a month, two tops but a week doesn't seem like enough. Can you help me understand?
Click to expand...

If you stay on sub for a month, you will face sub withdrawal afterward. Docs do not know how to use sub, they put people on unnecessarily high doses and keep them on it for too long. For me, sub withdrawal is almost as bad full agonist withdrawal. A week on is plenty of time for your situation, start with 6 mg the first day, then drop to 4 mg day two, 2 mg day 3, 1 mg day 4 and 5, .5 mg day six and seven, then jump. If you still feel bad after that you can take low doses of kratom. If you space out the kratom doses such that you go into withdrawal in between them, your receptors will continue to normal even though you are taking kratom. Just keep spacing out your kratom doses as much as possible and take as little kratom as needed. This is the most painless way to detox. I once detoxed this way without ever having to experience more than a few hours of mild withdrawal and a few restless (but not sleepless) nights.
 
What if I could be disciplined enough to taper using the norcos? What would that look like coming off 20 a day? Could I do it in two weeks?
 
Yes, you could but it would involve a lot more suffering than the kratom/suboxone route. Its definitely possible, its just that in my experience the only way to direct taper opiates is to experience the suffering withdrawal as you lower your dose. Of course its still far less suffering than cold turkey but sitting there suffering when you have more opiates you could take is such a difficult thing to do, and then it only takes a few times of giving into temptation and you are right back where you started. I have successfully direct tapered heroin once or twice, but that is out of hundreds of attempts. My success rate using sub/kratom is much higher. But direct taper is an option if you feel you can do it. It IS possible.
 
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