Addicted to Lying

[bennyZA]

I think I'm what you call a compulsive liar. I can't stop. Even the most mundane shit. I never want anyone to think anything negative about me so I lie constantly. It's kinda ridiculous. At this point I have to lie just to keep up the previous lies. So now my life is just finding ways to maintain these lies which is exhausting. So far, only a small few have caught me lying, so I essentially have a 99.9% success rating. Sometimes I even lie on this - anonymous - forum.

I've gotten so deep with the lies I don't think I can ever come back. How do I stop!!! If I don't stop soon, I will essentially ruin my life (if I haven't ruined it already). I already have a problem with lying to make myself look better, so coming clean about everything just isn't possible. I've tried mediation and that kinda stuff too. Does anyone else have experience with this? Has anyone else ever cured themselves of compulsive lying? Now that I'm clean, it needs to stop. Nothing good can come out of it. I'm also worried it might be something that causes me to relapse.

 

[herbavore]

I think that facing the negative feelings that you have about yourself is your best bet. As you develop more confidence that you are perfectly fine as a human being, flawed and susceptible to bad decisions as the next person, that you will be able to slowly begin to not only stop lying but dismantle some of the previous lies gently and without fanfare. We all know that feeling that we are not quite good enough--it is almost universal. The unfortunate thing about lying or exaggerating to make yourself appear better to others is that it reinforces the sense of isolation you feel and that feeds the need even more--talk about a catch-22!
I wonder if you could break this down into manageable pieces? Say you are going to meet some people to hang out and you set the intention for yourself that just for this one night you are not going to make anything up--even if it is to cover up something you lied about in the past--just deflect it or change the subject--anything to avoid lying. After that one night you can set the intention for another social situation and then another after that. Rather than one big blanket, "I have to stop lying" it is just small manageable chunks of time. At first it is going to bring up a lot of fear but after a few times you will begin to feel empowered by it.

This is just a pretty normal maladaptive strategy that has become a habit and then a trap. You can change it with honesty to yourself and awareness of what triggers it (feelings of low self-esteem).

 

[neversickanymore]

Yeah lying get really complicated fast.. and really is almost never worth it as people have a way of stumbling onto the truth eventually.. just decide to tell the truth everytime (legal stuff just dont say anything and get a lawyer).. I always like this quote about lying..

Oh! what a tangled web we weave. When first we practice to deceive! ~Walter Scott

 

[Flinque]

I used to lie all the time but I sucked at it. I lost a lot of friends from it, they had talked about me behind my back as well to the conclusion that I had lied where they then "banished" me. I confessed like a half year after though since I couldn't stop thinking about what I had done. It felt good to confess it, a chapter that should have been finished long ago, finally did.
Since you said you couldn't come clean about it, I would suggest you to stop lying, try to be honest (just not the way that you tell your friend when she's wearing her favorite shirt, it's ugly) and slowly become more honest. If someone says points something out like "but you said....." (your lie back then) when you're having a conversation, try to turn it away, talk around the lie but still be honest. Don't panic or that's when you could confess and say it was a lie, but announce it like a joke. It won't be taken as harshly then.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

The only time I lie is when I'm high off narcotics, and I'm usually lying about not being high.
Id say the only two people that know me best when I'm lying is my mother and my S/O.

Honesty is the best policy!