Addicted to crack?

[Raze]

Hi there. Sorry for the noob post...

Am I addicted to crack as well as my other addicitions? I've been having some crazy mood swings, irritability, depression, and as soon as I indulge in crack cocaine, feel better.. I was wondering if the bad side effects are due to a physical dependency on the crack? :/

I have been using it since October/ November. From then till January I would only use about once a week, and just 0.2mgs each time.

I've been keeping a diary to keep check of my usage, and looking back over this last month my usage has increased to every other day, but still just 0.2mgs.

Could I be physically dependent and addicted to it? The suicidalness is getting too much for me to deal with. I am already struggling with an opiate addiction (getting on suboxone this week though) and am tapering off of benzos which could be the cause of the depression, etc.

 

[ad lib]

Hi there. Sorry for the noob post...

Am I addicted to crack as well as my other addicitions? I've been having some crazy mood swings, irritability, depression, and as soon as I indulge in crack cocaine, feel better.. I was wondering if the bad side effects are due to a physical dependency on the crack? :/

I have been using it since October/ November. From then till January I would only use about once a week, and just 0.2mgs each time.

I've been keeping a diary to keep check of my usage, and looking back over this last month my usage has increased to every other day, but still just 0.2mgs.

Could I be physically dependent and addicted to it? The suicidalness is getting too much for me to deal with. I am already struggling with an opiate addiction (getting on suboxone this week though) and am tapering off of benzos which could be the cause of the depression, etc.

Hey Raze, you are definitely going through quite a struggle right now with the various addictions and habits that you have. It may be hard to pinpoint what is making you depressed since you are using crack, opiates, and benzodiazepines.

It's very likely that you could be physically dependent on crack, especially since you have been using it for months now and have been increasing your dosage. That could be causing your depression- the constant changes in the brain chemistry seeing as you stated that you are using it every other day. This paired with opiate addiction and a benzodiazepine taper are sure to make you feel low and overall just not "right" because of the changes that your mind and body are going through. The feelings that you have, although unpleasant, are normal due to what you are going through.

Good on you for wanting to get on suboxone for your opiate addiction and to taper off benzodiazepines! Once your body and mind start to even out and get used to operating without drugs, you will slowly start to feel better. It will not happen over night, but it will happen. Also, try to focus on your overall health- healthy diet, proper sleep, exercise habits/ to feel good, you must start from the inside and work your way out.

 

[Shadowsblaze]

Can't say for sure your addicted but most likely. When I used it every night for a year on weekends maybe a paycheck I was definitely mentally fucked. Same with crystal, I had to have it to feel right, thankfully self employed because I missed a lot of work. Always excuses, I was on another job when I was home hating myself. Sucks but you sound like your gonna get over it you've got the right questions and answers, good luck.

 

[thedawn]

I'm too fragile right now to read your whole post.
i smoked crack on/off for 5 years.

it's the worst drug I've been addicted to.
it's hell.

seek professional help ASAP.

 

[Allein]

Hi Raze,

Coke HCL and Crack are the most compulsive and damaging substances I've ever come into contact with, short duration, high cost and subtle psychological issues ( subtle in terms of you being unable to identify them yourself) make them very likely to cause addiction issues IMO.

It's very positive that you are getting your other substance issues under control, you can only do these things one step at a time.

It seems likely that all these things could be contributing to your depression, none are going to help much that's for sure.

Keep us updated on your progress, I hope things improve for you soon

 

[herbavore]

Writing to Bluelight, keeping a diary of your usage and also having seen someone to get off opiates and onto subs are all positive steps that you are taking for yourself. The underpinnings of dependence and addiction lie in a desire to feel pain-free, free of uncertainty and anxiety and the more you chase an escape from those feelings the more elusive the escape gets. I remember my brother telling me that at the height of his crack addiction he would literally start crying before he snorted because the physical pain in his nose was so bad and he knew that the effects would be so short lived as to be non-existent and yet his need to escape was greater than ever. That is a living hell and the sooner you can believe in all those voices of self-preservation that are urging you to sidestep this hell, the better.

Do you have support to quit? Are your friends going to be using around you? One of the members on here always asks, "What is your plan?" A plan is important because you are going to be doing battle with the voices of dependence and you need to prepare for that. I think you are at a very important crossroads right now and I wish you all the courage and strength in the world.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

Best of luck!

I used to cook crack for users (myself I have never used it). But that was years ago, and I have seen them go through hellish withdraws. Something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Keep your head up it's going to be tuff but you can pull through. Keep us updated Hun.