• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Addicted as hell to benzos and getting back into coke... and booze

S

Spadez87

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 2, 2013
Messages
175
So im feeling sketched out of my face atm at work so i wrote this trying to occupy my mind.

what keeps u guys from just saying fuck it and breaking bad? I went legit and did EVERYTHING in my power to make a good life for myself. Long story short everything went to stayed shit when i quit at 20 now im 25.
Re addicted to everything and all the hard work i put in the last 5 years was for nothing. Its doesnt matter if ur good or bad... wtf is good even? and wtf is bad? who decides.

I guess its back into the life i go.

delete this rant if nessary
 
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.

What triggered you? Was it anything in particular?
 
i dont think there is a good or bad...but some things are less pleasant than others!

Time high and time sober can both be learned from in my experience
 
Hey Spadez, being nearly as old as you and struggling with addiction for some time I think I can relate to your situation. As dillpickles said, good & bad are only moral judgements. The same thing can be morally good for one person and the worst for another. Most of all, you shouldn't expect to get a reward for "good" behaviour, whatever that might be. You may get the reward you are working towards, everything else is luck, if you know what I mean.

That might sound a bit nihilistic in the first place, but what I want to say: Quitting drugs is no magic switch that brings instant wellbeing, happiness and prosperity. Quitting the drugs you are addicted to is the first step towards a better life, and nothing more. As an addict, the only relevant reward is your drug of choice, and it will become less rewarding the longer you use. I bet you know that very well. It's a safe reward, and the safest way into hell. Quitting means you have the chance to get sustainable rewards, but you have to work and fight for that chance nonetheless.

I'm preaching and preaching and I guess that's the the thing you need the least right now. All I want to say: Don't quit to be good or some shit. Quit because you only have that one chance, wether you like yourself or not. And maybe, somewhere along the way, you will begin to like yourself.
 
aussie101 said:
"Do your best until you know better. Then when you know better, do better"
Click to expand...
^^ i love this quote from aussie101

And here are a few i came across yesterday from THOMAS EDISON, WHO HIMSELF LOVED A LITTLE COKE WITH HIS WHINE.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. TE

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. TE

Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something. TE


Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. TE


Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. TE

also if you are using, really take a close look how it really makes you feel 4 98% of the time.. you only ever fail when you give up.. everyone fails until they succeed.. don't remember what smart mf said these.<3
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top