bluntedskier
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 192
I am diagnosed with anxiety problems, alleged mood disorder of sometype (I am on a low dose of lithium, makes me drink lots of water but helps anxiety, not sure I plan on staying on it for too long) and I am also perscribed 2mg UpJohn Xanax Bars (be jealous 
) and 2mg Xanax XR generics. I only take a small amount of what I am actually prescribed, I figure the less I deep I become into Xanax the better for when it's time to quit.
I'm generally not that anxious anymore probably cause of the Lithium... one of the only good things I can praise my psychiatrist about it...
Now I am a mad active kid in the winter, but I'm taking this semester off so I am pretty much stuck at my mini studio/computer at home all day. I have another good friend at harvard that i ran into yesterday and we were talking and both came to the conclusion that we have both developed a psychological dependency on Adderall, as well as the realization that your mind can perform everything you think you need Addys to accomplish just as well, if not better without them. It's simply the euphoria and 'high' of the drug that once experienced, tricks yourself into believing that you need it to get certain tasks/school work etc done.
Here's my dilemma right now.... It's still nice and early in the day. I have a lot to get done: everything from writing to extensive video editing, to writing code for a website, to designing stuff in photoshop, mad emails, making calls etc.
This morning up until about an hour ago, I wasn't feeling too good. Took a little bit of xanax IR and one XR, had a bomb breakfast and now I'm feeling much better. Generally I always avoid taking addys two days in a row. But out of the batch of thirty I picked up, I have just 1 left.... and I am pretty damn tempted to take it now, post up in my baller chair with a huge pitcher of ice water and lemon, and just get on the fucking grind. I sure some of you guys can relate.... Smart thing would be to just save it for sometime next week, but my deadline is Monday and also you know how having drugs right in front of you works..............
Again, I have 2mg UPjohn bars for any Anxiety/Crash..... but am I going to feel absolutely horrible tomorrow, aka have like no serotonin/dopeamine? I would say I have a low/medium tolerance by now to the adderall, just from taking it way more often than I usually do in the past week or two. I have had absolutely miserable crashes in the past... but between taking vitamins, continuously drinking tons of Gatorade, eating all the delicious left over crab cakes, easing into the come down with 2-4mg of xani, and then going to sleep early, you think I'll be good for a meeting I have later in the day tomorrow? It's only 30mg... nothing too extreme.
It will will be kinda nice having these gone for good, because I won't be getting anymore in for a long time. And then I won't have a choice but to quickly retrain my mind to work just as well with some coffee.
Sorry I tend write a lot, even when I am dead sober.
) and 2mg Xanax XR generics. I only take a small amount of what I am actually prescribed, I figure the less I deep I become into Xanax the better for when it's time to quit. I'm generally not that anxious anymore probably cause of the Lithium... one of the only good things I can praise my psychiatrist about it...
Now I am a mad active kid in the winter, but I'm taking this semester off so I am pretty much stuck at my mini studio/computer at home all day. I have another good friend at harvard that i ran into yesterday and we were talking and both came to the conclusion that we have both developed a psychological dependency on Adderall, as well as the realization that your mind can perform everything you think you need Addys to accomplish just as well, if not better without them. It's simply the euphoria and 'high' of the drug that once experienced, tricks yourself into believing that you need it to get certain tasks/school work etc done.
Here's my dilemma right now.... It's still nice and early in the day. I have a lot to get done: everything from writing to extensive video editing, to writing code for a website, to designing stuff in photoshop, mad emails, making calls etc.
This morning up until about an hour ago, I wasn't feeling too good. Took a little bit of xanax IR and one XR, had a bomb breakfast and now I'm feeling much better. Generally I always avoid taking addys two days in a row. But out of the batch of thirty I picked up, I have just 1 left.... and I am pretty damn tempted to take it now, post up in my baller chair with a huge pitcher of ice water and lemon, and just get on the fucking grind. I sure some of you guys can relate.... Smart thing would be to just save it for sometime next week, but my deadline is Monday and also you know how having drugs right in front of you works..............
Again, I have 2mg UPjohn bars for any Anxiety/Crash..... but am I going to feel absolutely horrible tomorrow, aka have like no serotonin/dopeamine? I would say I have a low/medium tolerance by now to the adderall, just from taking it way more often than I usually do in the past week or two. I have had absolutely miserable crashes in the past... but between taking vitamins, continuously drinking tons of Gatorade, eating all the delicious left over crab cakes, easing into the come down with 2-4mg of xani, and then going to sleep early, you think I'll be good for a meeting I have later in the day tomorrow? It's only 30mg... nothing too extreme.
It will will be kinda nice having these gone for good, because I won't be getting anymore in for a long time. And then I won't have a choice but to quickly retrain my mind to work just as well with some coffee.
Sorry I tend write a lot, even when I am dead sober.
