irishred1973
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2017
- Messages
- 4
For the past ten plus years I have been on a two week on/two week off adderall kick. It is clear to me that I have a serious addiction but I cannot stop. I have a psychiatrist who sees me for 10 minutes every two months and writes out my drug. I play the role of a successful, scatterbrained single mom of two and I surface talk with him. He sits back in his leather chair, staring out the window of his office as I recite the lies that I have been practicing. Hoping he will change my dose, scarred shitless he will see my obvious facade, nervous as hell that he will cut me off. Once again none of that has happened. He sits back up in his chair and stares into his computer screen. He asks me if my insurance is still the same and I say yes and then he clicks the mouse. The sound of the printer running off two months worth of adderral makes my heart pound. I pay my co-pay and I'm out the door. I promise myself I will take it as directed. I always seem to get a fresh script on a Thursday or Friday. If it's a Thursday, I pick it up at night and I won't take any. I will start Friday morning. If it's a Friday..then it is game on.