ADD type drugs - need some advice

[dilated_pupils]

Alright basically here's the rundown - I've been kicking ass on trying to stop abusing stims, I mean sincerely putting effort into finding more meaning in life and such, but I still find I need some sort of stim.

I was given ritalin for a small amount of time as a child, then adderall with remeron (for sleep/calm me down) for a while, then just the adderall into my teens. After coming to the conclusion I was better off without I went a few years fine, then started abusing stimulants.

I don't want to do this dance anymore.

I want to tell you I've tried everything under the sun, mainly found MDPV to be very helpful for a VERY short amount of time (after that short amount of time it becomes hell). I've found nothing else really to help me. And obviously dabbling with illegal narcotics is not the best route, I'd rather a) find something that works that I can respect or b) find something I get RXed (but walking into the doors of the doc with a drug in mind or one you're set on can become daunting).

Adderall seems to do the trick, but once I run out of things to do I can get a bit stir crazy, also after doing such a thing I can feel depressed, because I feel like I'm accomplishing tomorrows meager tasks (such as changing the trash can before necessary).

I've found the drug 3-FPM to be mind opening to the world of non-abusive stimulants, but I feel the lack of euphoria and I tread carefully when I say 'euphoria' because I understand the fact that expecting euphoria from a drug every time you take it is really just a 'high' - I want natural, and I am willing to find & work with it.

I recently tried amphetamine powder (dried paste) since the price was right and I have no insurance, but it did nothing for me compared to adderall. In fact I find it to be (after multiple vendors) mostly placebo in any effect.

Can anyone recommend what may be a better alternative for me? I'd be much happier taking something that I can rely on, something that will motivate me (as in something that I can depend on and that isn't reluctant to kick in), and something that will allow me to achieve the place where I decide if ultimately I need this medication or not (and whether or not I continue to do so at that point will be up to me then -- not trying to answer that now).

Thanks in advance.

-dp

 

[MrRoot]

To be honest I find it sad that in states you can be left out alone with your medical issues if you don't have insurance or a hefty wallet.

What about those Obamacare stuff or whatever the cheap insurance would be called? Could you afford that or would they rule out pre-existing conditions if you would apply for an insurance now?

Could some charity organization, church, government, state, county or something cover your medical bills?

IDK about those as I live in Scandinavian wellfare country in which government pays 45%, 75% or 100% of drug prices depending how dire the illness in case is and also after spending 680€ per year to RX drugs you don't have to pay for any RX drug at all. Of course taxes are high and I for example have 36% income tax for a War Veteran compensation and disability allowance totalling of just a littje short of 6000€ per month.

Just asking out as I am quite sure that if you can get medical paperwork from your childhood times containing diagnoses and the drugs used it would be quite easy for you to get RX for the same drugs now.

 

[dilated_pupils]

I was planning on using such paperwork/documents if necessary or a family member whom can vouch for such things. Both would be considered valid I would believe.

However, I really want to be taken on my word, and continue with someone who trusts me rather than have a microscope on me from the beginning, let alone a diagnosis that may or may not have been correct follow me to adulthood. I want to be open/honest about the prior but not take it to the extreme, being basic will hopefully allow a new approach to be vulnerable in my life now.

Thank you though

-dp