youngemadmirer94
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2014
- Messages
- 12
Help! ACID or 25I-NBOMe caused UBER personalization which led 2 Manic Episode & More
I took what I thought was acid about a year and 4 months ago (my grandpa has bipolar disorder) but I found out recently that It could've been 25i and ever since then my life has been a nightmare. Ever since I took the drug I personalize everything and only think about myself and relate everything I see, or read or hear to myself in an extreme way. (Not the way I used to before I took the drug)
Has anyone experienced something similar to this? (with 25i-NBOME or with ACID)
I also experience symptoms of depersonalization, derealization, depression, and I feel nothing when I look into my eyes. I hardly ever feel anything when I look into other peoples eyes either. I took 1 hit of Acid or 25i (not sure), a year and 4 months ago and my life has been a downward spiral of unfortunate events ever since I took it. I had a hypomanic episode about 3 months after the trip as I was smoking a lot of pot and then was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. (I smoked pot for over a year before I took the acid/25i and I never had any issues)
Then i started taking lithium for 6 weeks as well as abilify for probably about 2 weeks and klonopin occasionally to help me sleep. After That i was no longer hypomanic but I felt like a zombie.
After that I had an experience where i was mixing antibiotics with alcohol and I was smoking pot and I felt nervous around everyone that I was around while i was at SXSW in austin, Texas. During that time I also took 1 half of a pill of adderall. After I came back from that trip I started to experience a lot of OCD symptoms. It seems like all the racing irrational thoughts that I had been having during my hypomanic episode were now just stuck in my head and I wasn't verbalizing them so they just stayed there. I thought i was gay because I had been so nervous around guys and stuff while i was in Austin but I realized that was because of the mix of the antibiotics with alcohol. Then i thought I was transgender and I now know that that was just because I was trying to look for some answer that would give me happiness.
I was trying to come up with some answer to why i was feeling so shitty and not like myself. I started taking CELEXA, an anti depressant that was supposed to alleviate my symptoms of OCD and make me less depressed and I stopped taking it after a weekk because it made it hard for me to exercise.
Then I started taking LAMICTCAL as it was supposed to help with my mood but stopped after 2 days because it gave me bad nightmares and impaired my cognition abilities. Since then I've completely stopped taking anti depressants and psych meds and I've been completely sober from POT, alcohol, caffeine or any other stimulant for about 5 months. I've been trying to exercise and meditate regularly to keep me sane and somewhat happy. I've also been taking supplements like tryptophan, Ridiola, b complex, fish oil and vitamin C and D. I'm also trying to get involved in a sports team because i think the physical competitive nature in me still exists as i feel alive when racing my friends in a running race.
I know a lot of you might say that it's unlikely that one experience with 25i or ACiD could have done so much damage to me, but i know that it has. I've looked at pictures of myself in the past before and post my PSYCHADELLIC TRIP, even listened to the music i've created since I took the drug, and I haven't progressed conceptually one bit since I took it. I've been recycling the same musical ideas for the past year and I also can't write anything original. I had a dream to become a songwriter but since I personalize everything I can't write songs that don't 100% pertain to me and my experience.. It's like the songs I would write would only make sense to me and no1 else could relate to them. No matter how hard I try i CAN NOT Think outside the box for the life of me! When i socialize with people my responses are ALWAYS cliche one word answers, or things like: oh thats cool. How was that? or Where'd u do that? or Why'd u do that? etc..
Anyways, does anyone know of anything I can do to help myself adapt to my situation and is there any hope that the neurons in my brain and my perception of the world will go back to how it was before I took 25I-NBOMe or acid or at least recover in some way with time? How many years do i have to wait? Is there anything else i can do to help me?? (I took an MRI brain scan and they said that I had no tumors brain damage but im skeptical as to how much they can really tell about ur neurons by looking at a scan...
I know that my creativity has to be still in me in some way because I have dreams where I hear melodies and musical ideas that I've never heard before but in my waking conscious I tend to say and think the same things every single day. All my conversations and thought processed tend to go back to one Subject, 25i or ACID.
what can i do to help myself? (ps. I've been contemplating suicide everyday for the past 3 months and its really disturbing because I always end up feeling guilty about how It would make my mom feel.)
i just really wish more than anything that i could go back to being that happy confident kid i used to be before i took that stupid psychedelic fake acid drug or even if it was acid.. i don't think it makes a difference at this point.
I would really appreciate any help or insight that someone could offer me!
thank you
I took what I thought was acid about a year and 4 months ago (my grandpa has bipolar disorder) but I found out recently that It could've been 25i and ever since then my life has been a nightmare. Ever since I took the drug I personalize everything and only think about myself and relate everything I see, or read or hear to myself in an extreme way. (Not the way I used to before I took the drug)
Has anyone experienced something similar to this? (with 25i-NBOME or with ACID)
I also experience symptoms of depersonalization, derealization, depression, and I feel nothing when I look into my eyes. I hardly ever feel anything when I look into other peoples eyes either. I took 1 hit of Acid or 25i (not sure), a year and 4 months ago and my life has been a downward spiral of unfortunate events ever since I took it. I had a hypomanic episode about 3 months after the trip as I was smoking a lot of pot and then was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. (I smoked pot for over a year before I took the acid/25i and I never had any issues)
Then i started taking lithium for 6 weeks as well as abilify for probably about 2 weeks and klonopin occasionally to help me sleep. After That i was no longer hypomanic but I felt like a zombie.
After that I had an experience where i was mixing antibiotics with alcohol and I was smoking pot and I felt nervous around everyone that I was around while i was at SXSW in austin, Texas. During that time I also took 1 half of a pill of adderall. After I came back from that trip I started to experience a lot of OCD symptoms. It seems like all the racing irrational thoughts that I had been having during my hypomanic episode were now just stuck in my head and I wasn't verbalizing them so they just stayed there. I thought i was gay because I had been so nervous around guys and stuff while i was in Austin but I realized that was because of the mix of the antibiotics with alcohol. Then i thought I was transgender and I now know that that was just because I was trying to look for some answer that would give me happiness.
I was trying to come up with some answer to why i was feeling so shitty and not like myself. I started taking CELEXA, an anti depressant that was supposed to alleviate my symptoms of OCD and make me less depressed and I stopped taking it after a weekk because it made it hard for me to exercise.
Then I started taking LAMICTCAL as it was supposed to help with my mood but stopped after 2 days because it gave me bad nightmares and impaired my cognition abilities. Since then I've completely stopped taking anti depressants and psych meds and I've been completely sober from POT, alcohol, caffeine or any other stimulant for about 5 months. I've been trying to exercise and meditate regularly to keep me sane and somewhat happy. I've also been taking supplements like tryptophan, Ridiola, b complex, fish oil and vitamin C and D. I'm also trying to get involved in a sports team because i think the physical competitive nature in me still exists as i feel alive when racing my friends in a running race.
I know a lot of you might say that it's unlikely that one experience with 25i or ACiD could have done so much damage to me, but i know that it has. I've looked at pictures of myself in the past before and post my PSYCHADELLIC TRIP, even listened to the music i've created since I took the drug, and I haven't progressed conceptually one bit since I took it. I've been recycling the same musical ideas for the past year and I also can't write anything original. I had a dream to become a songwriter but since I personalize everything I can't write songs that don't 100% pertain to me and my experience.. It's like the songs I would write would only make sense to me and no1 else could relate to them. No matter how hard I try i CAN NOT Think outside the box for the life of me! When i socialize with people my responses are ALWAYS cliche one word answers, or things like: oh thats cool. How was that? or Where'd u do that? or Why'd u do that? etc..
Anyways, does anyone know of anything I can do to help myself adapt to my situation and is there any hope that the neurons in my brain and my perception of the world will go back to how it was before I took 25I-NBOMe or acid or at least recover in some way with time? How many years do i have to wait? Is there anything else i can do to help me?? (I took an MRI brain scan and they said that I had no tumors brain damage but im skeptical as to how much they can really tell about ur neurons by looking at a scan...
I know that my creativity has to be still in me in some way because I have dreams where I hear melodies and musical ideas that I've never heard before but in my waking conscious I tend to say and think the same things every single day. All my conversations and thought processed tend to go back to one Subject, 25i or ACID.
what can i do to help myself? (ps. I've been contemplating suicide everyday for the past 3 months and its really disturbing because I always end up feeling guilty about how It would make my mom feel.)
i just really wish more than anything that i could go back to being that happy confident kid i used to be before i took that stupid psychedelic fake acid drug or even if it was acid.. i don't think it makes a difference at this point.
I would really appreciate any help or insight that someone could offer me!
thank you
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