Hi, i am new here and have a question for constant cocaine users. my ex fiance ( we have been in a LDR for some time) always dabbled in cocaine but stopped for a while. He is really a sweet man, however i had to move away for my job and it was noly going to be a year and we have done LDR before so thought we could manage. We skyped everyday. However, he started becoming very suspicious all the time, asking what noize was there etc. We had rust issues in the past which were partly due to me but i beleied we got over the. however, he started thinking everything i told him was a lie. He eventually admitted to using cocaine again so i thought it would stop but it got worse. He accused me of having someone living here with me, or having sex whle skyping him with. When we skype he asks me to walk around my appartment with my laptop to show there is no one there, multiple times and that doesnt even satisfy him. He thinks there is someone hiding in my bathroom/under the bed/ standind behind me. He also thinks that when i talk with my hands i am signalling to someone, and says talk different languages while talking to him. He has recorded multiple records of me while i didnt know to "prove" that i am there with someone since he says he is sure he hears these things. I broke up with him for these reasons but i realy cant bear to let go. I love him and want a life together but i need to know if anyone has experiences with this and can offer advice. I also dont know how often he uses, but i wonder if these thoughts are still there when he is not high.
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accusatory and suspicious cocaine use
- Thread starter karinv
- Start date
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
I think you were right to break up with him as that level of suspicious thinking and need to control you raises lots of red flags. His growing paranoia may or may not be drug fueled but either way the bottom line remains the same. If a person has no trust in you and you cannot trust them there is no possibility of a healthy relationship for ether one of you. I think you need to be very strong in your resolve to let him go for the time being. If he takes care of his problems in the future perhaps you can reconnect. For now, take good care of yourself. You did the right thing.
Hey karinv and welcome to Bluelight.
Sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this and that he is going through this. His behavior sounds like classic stimulant induces paranoia or mild stimulant induced psycoses.
Its interesting to hear how it plays out with a LDR and skype. This happens to many people who use coke. It generally is not present in the begining, but when i shows up it gets progressively worse and worse. It it associated with coke addiction and a phenomena called reverse tolerance. Reverse tolerance is a phenomenon where people begin to develop a hypersensitivity to coke. It is not a reversible thing as far as I know and people will get to the point that even a very small half line dose will make the very paranoid.
Given a long time off the tolerance may seem to adjust back and the awful results reversed. This is usually no the case and with any use at all the phenomenon returns in full force.
People who are experiencing this have very similar experiences. The start to think they are being watched, listened to, that law enforcement is surveilling them, that there are listening devices planted around the house, that cops or criminals are outside there house about to break in. They will commonly see shadow people or tree people. They may even meet the man in black.
One interesting thing is that they often think people are crawling through the ventilation systems or sneaking in through windows. With males they usually think its some type of law enforcement person, but females often think its another female crawling through the ventilation to have sex with their man.
It sounds pretty crazy. but its really pretty common. Usually these symptoms are only present when the person is on the drug or other stimulants. People in this state are rarely dangerous. But if they smoke or inject and are prone to this then they can go into full blown psycoses and then they should be avoided.
Believe it or not this may actually be a good thing. At this point he is likely not feeling much if any pleasure of this drug. He is stuck in an awful addiction and finds himself driven to sorta a drug induced hell when ever he uses. The reason this may be a good thing is at this point he is at the perfect place to be able to address his addiction.
People who have this happen to them rarely have any lasting side effects and both return back to the great people they are both when the drug wears off and when they address the addiction successfully.
He is almost certainly suffering from a strong active addiction and very unhappy. He needs to address this addiction and break free from the coke.
If you still love him then I would get ahold of him when he is not high and paranoid. Calmly and rationally, with out any judgment, Let him know that you understand to some degree what he is going through and that you love him and want him to address his addiction because you do not want him to suffer anymore. Or something like that.
Here is are some resources on addiction treatment.
SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)
Varied Approaches to Addiction Recovery
Twelve-Step Addiction Recovery Support Groups
I hope this helps and I hope he can identify and implement a strong plan to tackle his addiction as he is likely miserable.
Here is also a thread where people talk about stimulant psycoses. This thread may be triggring as its in DC Who are the shadow people?
Sorry to hear that you are having to deal with this and that he is going through this. His behavior sounds like classic stimulant induces paranoia or mild stimulant induced psycoses.
Its interesting to hear how it plays out with a LDR and skype. This happens to many people who use coke. It generally is not present in the begining, but when i shows up it gets progressively worse and worse. It it associated with coke addiction and a phenomena called reverse tolerance. Reverse tolerance is a phenomenon where people begin to develop a hypersensitivity to coke. It is not a reversible thing as far as I know and people will get to the point that even a very small half line dose will make the very paranoid.
Given a long time off the tolerance may seem to adjust back and the awful results reversed. This is usually no the case and with any use at all the phenomenon returns in full force.
People who are experiencing this have very similar experiences. The start to think they are being watched, listened to, that law enforcement is surveilling them, that there are listening devices planted around the house, that cops or criminals are outside there house about to break in. They will commonly see shadow people or tree people. They may even meet the man in black.
One interesting thing is that they often think people are crawling through the ventilation systems or sneaking in through windows. With males they usually think its some type of law enforcement person, but females often think its another female crawling through the ventilation to have sex with their man.
It sounds pretty crazy. but its really pretty common. Usually these symptoms are only present when the person is on the drug or other stimulants. People in this state are rarely dangerous. But if they smoke or inject and are prone to this then they can go into full blown psycoses and then they should be avoided.
Believe it or not this may actually be a good thing. At this point he is likely not feeling much if any pleasure of this drug. He is stuck in an awful addiction and finds himself driven to sorta a drug induced hell when ever he uses. The reason this may be a good thing is at this point he is at the perfect place to be able to address his addiction.
People who have this happen to them rarely have any lasting side effects and both return back to the great people they are both when the drug wears off and when they address the addiction successfully.
He is almost certainly suffering from a strong active addiction and very unhappy. He needs to address this addiction and break free from the coke.
If you still love him then I would get ahold of him when he is not high and paranoid. Calmly and rationally, with out any judgment, Let him know that you understand to some degree what he is going through and that you love him and want him to address his addiction because you do not want him to suffer anymore. Or something like that.
Here is are some resources on addiction treatment.
SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)
Varied Approaches to Addiction Recovery
Twelve-Step Addiction Recovery Support Groups
I hope this helps and I hope he can identify and implement a strong plan to tackle his addiction as he is likely miserable.
Here is also a thread where people talk about stimulant psycoses. This thread may be triggring as its in DC Who are the shadow people?
SaciPerere
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2013
- Messages
- 39
Are you sure you're ready for a serious relationship with a coke head? You're in for quite an emotional roller-coaster.