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Abused as a child? BL'ers have your say...

Were you abused as a child, and do you have a drug habit as an adult?

  • M: I was abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 101 22.6%

  • M: I was not abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 145 32.5%

  • M: I was abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 15 3.4%

  • M: I was not abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 59 13.2%

  • F: I was abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 46 10.3%

  • F: I was not abused and have a drug habit

    Votes: 31 7.0%

  • F: I was abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 16 3.6%

  • F: I was not abused and do not have a drug habit

    Votes: 33 7.4%
  • Total voters
    446
^ Depends on the context and how violent it was as well, I would imagine. Lots of people were smacked as kids - I know I was - but wouldn't necessarily consider it abuse. I only got a whack when I did something particularly vile, and it never affected me negatively. I certainly wouldn't have called it abuse....but if it had happened often, over trivial issues, or unprovoked, then it might be a different story.
 
^yep that was pretty much wat i meant - sorry if i came across as a little rude, im in a shitty mood tonight and ive read some comments in other threads that hav got to me
now im derailing this one :p
 
giles123 said:
I was smacked and hit with the wooden spoon as a child when I was naughty, does that mean I was abused?

Had my mouth washed out with soap a few times when I swore as well.
Click to expand...

Well, if you found that traumatic, then its abuse IMO. Then again, if your trying to make some other point about the nature of abuse, you've failed epicly and forced me to invent a word. :|
 
There are different types of abuse. I was abused by the amount of neglect that I suffered. I personally witnessed my father beat my brother and on one occasion that I know of rack him (slam his fist into my brothers crotch). The past is NEVER over or laid to rest. It continues to haunt and affect the victims throughout their whole lives, whether they know it or not. I suspect that many of us on this site use 'cause we are lookin' to kill the pain of the damge done us. Even if the trauma/abuse was not deliberate, it still hurts the same. The feelings of shame, helplessness, and self- loathing start at a very young age and to break the patterns, let alone even recognize them, is a Herculean task that requires a massive amount of insight.

What is drug abuse really but slow suicide? Everytime we use drugs, particularly IV, we all know that it could kill is instantly. "Normal ppl" are not willing to take that chance. Addicts tend to be damaged emotionally for whatever reason, and if the underlying stuff is not treated...so it goes. We attempt to manage our pain with escapism. Sometimes I wish the dope would just kill me so I can be free, forever. Sleep is the cousin of death, so good night.
 
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My father was an alcoholic and he beat my mother and myself. He was also emotionally abusive as well as verbally. For the upside of it, he wasn't home all the time so it wasn't a constant abuse.
He once watched me after school when I was around 6 years old. He gave me pills to make me sleep for hours and hours so he could go to the bar and drink; God knows what else.
He was also an avid coke user and rx pill user as well. I must say ABUSER, not user. Big difference there.

I am not sure where his whereabouts are now. From what I have heard , he is in prison. I lost contact several years ago. Actually, I chose to lose contact. Toxic people are not welcome in my life.

BUT. I am here, alive, and still kickin' I am a drug user, but not abuser.
 
i didnt read all the posts


but i wanst physically abused as a child.

i was however mentally abused

(probably not as bad as physical abuse)

but i do use drugs
 
^FYI, mental abuse can be even more insidious than physical abuse. It can inflict severe and egregious damage on the victim. Bruises fade, broken bones heal. The damage done to your mind and psyche is irreparable, toxic, and forever.
 
I was never abused. I led the typical suburban household kinda life. We lived in the Chicago suburbs...the old man took the train to the office daily...hung around with the other kids on the block...mom was a housewife & always there when I got home from school. This was the late 50s/early 60s & life was just like 'Leave It To Beaver' or 'Father Knows Best' era.
I do have a drug habit, as I'm on a methadone maintenance/pain management program. Will be until my death. Also, I've been a weed smoker for 39 yrs now & have never & will never quit that.
 
ccm said:
^FYI, mental abuse can be even more insidious than physical abuse. It can inflict severe and egregious damage on the victim. Bruises fade, broken bones heal. The damage done to your mind and psyche is irreparable, toxic, and forever.
Click to expand...
agreed!
 
No vote for my situation, but I feel this thread is still appropriate for me.
In the course of my life, I have been asked on numerous occasions if I have been abused, due to how I come across in a sexual sense- too shy to elaborate more.
I cannot and have never been able to bear anyone near me. Sometimes I cannot bear to open my eyes, or the feel of air on my skin. Bed rules.
I have no memory of being abused.
If I did have memories, I would get the assistance which other survivors of abuse get.
I can understand blocking things out while they are traumatic, but I cannot understand not being able to remember them.
I dont mind the lack of sex, as I never liked the feeling, but I want rid of the feeling that of rejection of the world. I reject the world and all that is in it.
I had no real friends. Ive fucked off my family, years after moving away.
The world moves too fast, and everyone cant stand anyone else yet they insist they like them.
No one has a polite word for anyone else.
Every ones behaviour comes from a false persona rather than the real person. OK for a stage production night, but all of life?
Speed was my habit, UK base, but it nasty and fake. It moves fast. I took it to put up with what i normally reject, but now I have even rejected the base.

I hope this post in no way, affects abuse survivors in a disrespectful way, as I respect all of them for helping themselves to heal.
 
I voted "M: I was abused and do have a drug habit", I do tend to abuse E however I have taken extensive breaks from it before (8+ months). It's more alcohol that's my problem. I wasn't abused as a child, in fact my parents loved me very much. When I hit 17 is where it went south for me...and funnily enough I started drinking heavily and using E shortly after...
 
I suffered physical, sexual, and mainly psychological abuse from at least 6 people in my life. I normally don't think about it, unless I have to deal with it like taking a mandatory reporting class or someone touches me and I'm suddenly uncomfortable with it and have to ask them to stop, even though they are totally non-threatening and I trust them. That happened today. :(
 
i was sexually abused by a family friend as a 6 year old and never really thought nothing of it till i was 13 years old then it made sense to me then i started to steal, lie and fight with my parents and sleep with men until i was 17 then came clean on what happened all then years ago with my mum ,she was shoked and disgusted with what happenened all them years ago i went one day to visit the perpertraiter with a sticck with nails embedded in the weapon of choice and he never showed but he put a avo on me the cunt piss weak mutha fucka , he never shows his face in the small town no more , rot in hell cock sucker cunt .ille fuck you up one day cunt .
 
My moms a fucking crazy abusive alcoholic. She got real bad when I was around 11 and drank at least a half gallon of vodka everyday until I was 19. Not getting any sleep becasue shes beating me, slamming shit, and screaming at me and my dad. Shes simoultaneously cheating and probobly hooking as I heard that she was seen jumping into an old mans car. She addmited that she fucked a 19 year old for heroin(at the time she was 46 and I was 17) it was soooo sick. Wondering if shes going to die or kill someone when she goes out. Just scared and stressed about everything. Then one day she left for a year and half. I just saw her for the first time 6 months ago and shes even worse. I plan on not seeing her till shes sober. I doubt it will ever happen and even when she gets sober I dont know if I can forgive her. I just found out she got taken to jail on a bunch of warrant and is facing some serious time. I try to not let it affect me but I'm pretty sure it was a huge contributing factor in my getting addicted to opiates. Her whole family has very bad problems with drugs and alcohol and even though I used to think addiction wasn't genetic I cant help but believe it has to be in a familys genes somewhere.

edit- I am so sorry for everyone who on here and everyone everywhere that has been abused. Weather it be sexually, physically, mentally, or a family member with an addiction, it's a bad situation no matter what. Everyone who has experience with abuse can learn and hopefully help to stop the cycle of abuse.
 
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Personally as a child I was the one who to my older bro and friends was an idiot. I really resent my bro for not stiking with me when I was young. He was the man I looked up to. I know wonder if I really am annoying and deserve what I get/ got.

I have no sense of self. I was abused sexually by several pepople, physically to this day. and emotionally too.

anyway enough of my self pity
 
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