Abused as a child? BL'ers have your say...

[B9]

^ Ah it makes no difference to me - transgender away to your hearts content. :D


Actually I think that the criteria ( also the subject matter) is so open to interpretation that I'm perplexed as to exactly how one learns much from it. Not that I'm criticising mind you - it's somewhat more focussed than that idiocy posted by phy.

 

[phactor]

Its hard to define abuse, my mom certainly spanked way to much. Also would threaten to abandon me from time to time and has kicked and punched me a few times. For a long time I thought she loved me but didn't like me as a person. I don't think this effected me all that much though. Shit maybe it has and I don't realize it. My dad has always been pretty detached and for a long time not that present.

But most of the time she was a very loving and caring mother that taught me some great things. Stuff like respecting and celebrating our community, respecting diversity, being tolerant.

 

[drug_wench]

^often that is part of the cycles of abuse
i found with my dad (and ill give him credit cos he had undiagnosed bipolar and had an abusive upbringing and alcohol/drug problems wen i was a kid) u never knew wat sorta mood hed b in - he was unpredictable
one minute hed b throwing things round, threatening to lock u in the garage, telling u ur stupid and worthless and smashing the shit outta u, the next hed b hugging u and saying 'whos my gorgeous girl?', etc
hed never apologise, and hed just expect u to b in the same mood he was in - he hated to see fear or tears - both enraged him
it was that unpredictability i hated the most
mum described it as 'walking on eggshells'

 

[PBtch]

^ same here..But mine NEVER in my whole life hugged me.. And to think about it maybe just maybe if he tried to say he was sorry I might talk to him..but then again I might not...I also think that he would only do it because he wants me to think he is (because that how he is)But then again I think about will I regret not having seen/talked to him in years (its been 6 or 7 so far) when he dies? But I always say that I never want to see or talk to him until he dies and then I only want to see him to really see hes dead and then I dont have to l ive in fear anymore...I know that sounds so bad because their is soo many people that have lost thier parents and would give anything to have them back but its how I feel..

 

[drug_wench]

^i can understand that
i felt like that about my old man for a long time until i oneday rationalised it, remembered the tales he, and all his brothers and sisters, used to tell me about their experiences as children, wiv their abusive father (and believe me it sounds like my childhood was cushy compared to that)
and i remember hes got bipolar that was undiagnosed
and i also remember that by being hateful and bitter im making myself feel worse in general and its not gonna do much gd for my own mental health....so i let it go
doesnt mean i dont still feel angry sumtimes about the injustice of it all, but evry time i start to get bitter i let the bitter feelings go again
i hope oneday he and i will b able to see each other wiv luv from both sides

 

[center]

This unoffical test proves that there is little co-relation between abuse AND abuse . KEEP VOTING, GET EVERYONE TO VOTE.

 

[swilow]

^Not really. It may just be showing that less males are either willing to admit to abuse, or perhaps abused males with drug habits don't use internet forums... it doesn't prove anything really. In my experience, most of the people I know whove been sexually abused including me have had drug problems. Kinda normal really- if your brain feels sick, you try to fix it. Or break it even more. Thats why child abuse is so harmful.

 

[icancu2k]

What defines abuse tho ?

One incident ?

Repeated incidents ?

Severity of incidents?

Personally, I'd class it as a combination of the latter two... only the individual could say for sure. In my case I'm all for some sort of corporal punishment, however repeated violent incidents from an early age almost made me 'immune'.

(a knockout blow to the nose at age 10/11 from a fully grown bloke isn't a slap across the backside)

Regardless of how clichéd this sounds, I do believe I was able to become more at peace with my inner self thanks to psychedelic use. And to you LSD-25, I raise my glass!

Although I have thought of the idea of escapism through drug use, I feel it has no place; your mind holds the key to your welfare - not the past, present or future, only your thoughts.

 

[icancu2k]

Exactly - then you have some folks in denial etc. It's a very difficult area. That really was my point that it's far from a straight decision in many cases.

Agreed; a poll, although interesting, isn't going to be very factual, I know kids nowadays who think they have a hard time... pffft! (again though, that's only my individual opinion!)

 

[sushii]

No poll in TDS is ever going to be totally accurate, or relevant to anything outside this forum. It's still interesting to see the responses though. I like this one, and I actually think it's a lot less ambiguous than some we've had in the past.

 

[swilow]

I think 'abuse' could be a one off tramuatic incident, or a series of....it depends how the victim reacts really, which depends on what tpe of personality they have by and large.

 

[chicpoena]

I think 'abuse' could be a one off tramuatic incident, or a series of....it depends how the victim reacts really, which depends on what tpe of personality they have by and large.

I agree

 

[I am shpongled]

M: I was abused and have a drug habit 18
M: I was not abused and have a drug habit 44
M: I was abused and do not have a drug habit 2
M: I was not abused and do not have a drug habit 12
F: I was abused and have a drug habit 11
F: I was not abused and have a drug habit 1
F: I was abused and do not have a drug habit 4
F: I was not abused and do not have a drug habit 9

According to this poll,
90% of abused males have drug habits compared to 78% of those with no abuse
73% of abused females have drug habits compared to 11% of those with no abuse
83% of abused people have drug habits compared to 68% of those with no abuse

I'd say while having a drug abuse problem makes you much more likely to be a drug abuser, it probably doesn't make you any more likely to have been abused as a child, therefore, these results are probably significant.

Abuse makes males 14% more likely to develop a drug habit and females 660% more likely to develop a drug habit. On average, it makes an individual 23% more likely to be a habitual drug user.

 

[drug_wench]

^interesting - and to me, somewat surprising results

 

[nabollocks]

Yeah, thank you all so much for your contributions. Keep them coming!

I have a really sad situation at the moment where my sister is addicted to meth, she even lies to my face about it, the person who understands her the most. But one thing I can say for sure is that she has been abused all her life.

I guess she thinks she is happy this way.

 

[drug_wench]

^sounds like ur sisters going thru sumwat wat i was going thru
i used meth to 'stop caring' and forget about the hurt i was put thru daily by my dad
in the end, hopefully ur sister will realise that its better to face those demons than to mask them wiv drugs

 

[nabollocks]

^Yeah, she just broke off an engagement as well, so she is going through some tough times... I just wish she would let herself feel what is happening to her. (She has not shown any emotion at all).

 

[drug_wench]

^a common side-effect of methamphetamine.....u just 'dont give a fuck'
thats why ppl can become dangerous on it
but im going off on a tangent
im going thru the same shit as u, but probly not as close to home cos theyre not relatives, wiv several of my friends, as it happens
PM me if it ever gets too much
a problem shared is a problem halved

 

[nabollocks]

^I might just do that a little later Cheers

 

[SilverFeniks]

I've never been able to answer this question .. as I don't know the definition of 'consensual'.

For the record, my only sexual relationship was a few years of a relationship opposite of my sexual orientation, before I was sexually mature .. I'd like to think that qualifies as abuse, rather than consent .. but given my life-long level of social dysfunction, I prefer to just forget about it entirely.

That said, while I can certainly see strong correlation between abuse and later drug use .. we're all pretty dysfunctional in our own ways, and drug use can be inspired by so many different factors.

I was definately subject to emotional/psychological abuse by all those around me for ~8 yrs, but ultimately it was just luck/chance that brought existing friends - who happened to get into drugs by factors beyond my control - to invite me to partake.
And despite all my programming & good behaviour, I never put up any resistance .. but certainly didn't have past trauma on my mind.