absolution

[no.tmrw]

absolution

how do i let go of the past
you haunt me constantly
the devil sitting on my shoulder
the angel whispering in my ear
you are the greatest pain ive ever known
the sweet euphoria ive always dreamt of

fuck off you soulless bitch
why did you play games with my heart
im searching for an answer
for this vain hope i hold on to
you said you just want to be friends
yes, i hate you too

dont forget me
i am that one regret
the one you could have had
you cant change the past
you had your chance
now fcuk off and die

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

There's something about this that is making me contemplate a few things....

Anyway, eventually the pain and hurt will disappear, but you have to be the one to say i'm okay, you can't hurt me anymore.
There's is no one else that can do that for you.

But there's one thing I could never understand that I've heard this so many times before, that I could even say that I lived through... and realized myself that it wasn't love....

Because how could one person go from one extreme (to loving someone soo much) and then turning around one second later to another extreme (i fucking hate you blah blah blah)

In my honest opinion, You can't hate someone as much as you love them, it's just not possible.
Love is Love. And no amount of pain can change that. Sometime love does fade and becomes distant to were it might not even exsist anymore... but you can't turn love into hate, despite the circumstances.

Everything goes away........ eventually.
I'm looking forward to reading your next write.

 

[no.tmrw]

i wrote that peice a fair while ago, and thinking about it now i can understand more of what i felt. it explores extremes because of my emotions at that time, the paragraphs go from love > confusion > hate, and all the way back again. i was scared of the way i felt and my defense mechanism is to be angry.

i was angry at the way i felt about her
i was angry at teh way she made me feel
i was angry that she didnt feel the same about me

i was angry that despite all this, i still loved her

anger is an easy emotion to deal with, easier than frustration, confusion.

i agree with you now though, it wasnt love, never was. but in the moment. it feels that strong. thanks for your reply, helped me to understand

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

yeah, it's funny, because you think there will be no more brighter day, no green grass on the other side of the mountain... nothing will ever be the same again...
then you wake up and realize that it was a fucking joke. point blank.
and the sun does shine again, and the grass turns green...

one of the biggest gifts about writing is that a little bit later, you go back and realize something about yourself that you never noticed... and you are able to understand more about yourself and about people.... and you learn how people are cruel no matter who you are and where you go.

i can't wait to read more from you.

 

[RareForm]

thanks for sharing.