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Absolutely full of anger and rage why?

mr.buffnstuff

mr.buffnstuff

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2010
Messages
1,124
Hello all, I don't know what's going on but it feels like I'm falling apart! Today at work I was so full of rage and anger I decided to walk off and go home before I totally lost it! I'm verging on the biggest thing of my life with mine and my mates business launching and honestly I can see me being able to retire in 2 years I should be happy but I just feel like I'm falling apart. I also find myself drinking every night, it's become the normal to drink a 70cl bottle of vodka a night or 5-6 litres of cider, Without knowing almost I go to tesco just to buy that. I'm kinda laying off other stuff ATM not that it matters a fuck.
Not really sure why I'm even posting this but I have nowhere to turn me and my family dad/sis/brothers don't have owt to do with each other really. My gf lost the plot in jan and tried to stick a blade in my neck when she was drunk were still 'together' but it's like waiting for the clock to count down till were over.
I just dunno what to do.... I kinda wanna just fall off the rails and give up....
 
Hey Buff, I know where you're coming from with the falling apart bit. Stress has an odd way of exposing the cracks in us. It's had to find a way to release those cracks but I find talking helps.

If you ever need to chat drop me a pm. I'm a fairly good listener.

Hope you chill a bit and relax a lot. Venting is good! <3
 
Don't give up. Trials make you stronger.

It seems like you are worried about the amount of booze you drink. I've never been a drinker so I don't know how to advise you other than to say can you try AA? Also..would you like me to pray forhealing in your relationship and home life?
 
Thanks Sadie

I am not concerned too much about my drinking but I don't know why I find myself doing it. That's what concerns me if that makes sense? Just feels like everything's falling apart, nothing specific just 'life'
 
Aw Buff, we all go through phases like that. Sometimes there is no answer only rage and emptiness. It's very hard to explain but hey, not all of life can be explained easily. Just try and find something that helps you vent this as it's not good to keep things pent up. Could be chatting could be going for walks could be cooking or cleaning. Just please try and do your best to vent a bit. That's all I can advise. Until you find something that works for you it's only just going to build up. That's when the cracks start to show and you really do fall apart!

Much love <3
 
Anger is my, err, downfall. And drinking hard made it MUCH worse. Made me a ball of hate (not at first but once I got in deep). You may find more peace with less booze.

Also, there's venting and there's venting. One is productive or even needed but please don't do the bad kind of venting. Life is precious. (cringe)
 
Sammy G said:
Demonic possession.
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Im in the same boat OP. I think my anger and mood swings are the result of coming off the anti depressant(seroxat) ive been on the past 8 years. I basically jumped off at 20mg, didnt bother with a taper which was stupid. Im so lucky I havent committed homicide or suicide in that time, its been scary as fuck how angry I get. Its not as bad as it was a few weeks ago where every lil thing pissed me the fuck off but I still have my moments

I wish you all the best mate
 
Alcohol is known for having negative effects on mood for some people, if you've been hitting the bottle hard for several days its quite likely that it could 'rock the boat'. I hope it passes, i had a case of benzo rage for quite a while, i didnt do much of the things i could have done to help myself, like cut down, get some strenuous exercise which really can help massively with stress, rages, and moods.

I could have done with a punch bag or something like that, at that time, to let of some steam in a harmless way. Im not sure but i think its better to express your anger somehow, rather than bottle it up. That could eventually lead to one almighty meltdown. Please forgive the dodgy armchair psycholgit crap, im just trying to say you're far from alone with such experiences. Although i dont spose thats much consolation at all.8(
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Alcohol is known for having negative effects on mood for some people, if you've been hitting the bottle hard for several days its quite likely that it could 'rock the boat'. I hope it passes, i had a case of benzo rage for quite a while, i didnt do much of the things i could have done to help myself, like cut down, get some strenuous exercise which really can help massively with stress, rages, and moods.

I could have done with a punch bag or something like that, at that time, to let of some steam in a harmless way. Im not sure but i think its better to express your anger somehow, rather than bottle it up. That could eventually lead to one almighty meltdown. Please forgive the dodgy armchair psycholgit crap, im just trying to say you're far from alone with such experiences. Although i dont spose thats much consolation at all.8(
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I wish I got a punching bag instead of punching holes in half the doors and walls in my house. Thats my deposit down the drain cos the holes are so big it cant be plastered over properly without the landlord noticing when I move out

Benzo and SSRI rage is no joke
 
Sadie said:
it does MDB. Maybe not to Buff but it would do to me. <3
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Hey sadie, this is the perfect thread for me to apologise for some of my comments last week. It was at one of my ssri 'rage' moments, just about everything was pissing me off and you just happened to be caught in the crossfire

So hope things are cool sadie, sorry again
 
FEDOR85 said:
Im in the same boat OP. I think my anger and mood swings are the result of coming off the anti depressant(seroxat) ive been on the past 8 years. I basically jumped off at 20mg, didnt bother with a taper which was stupid. Im so lucky I havent committed homicide or suicide in that time, its been scary as fuck how angry I get. Its not as bad as it was a few weeks ago where every lil thing pissed me the fuck off but I still have my moments

I wish you all the best mate
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I was on Paxil for a few years..it is bloody hard to withdraw. But sounds like your getting there week by week. I was going to direct you to a site called 'Paxil Progress' (Paxil is Paroxetines American name) but it looks like its been closed down. Shame because it was a really healthy forum.

I'm sure you can find other supportive sites that deal specifically with paroxetine withdrawal. Depression.com has a section.

Be kind to yourself, you've come a long way..past all the weakness and brain zaps of the first week and anxieties and edginess of the following weeks..Bloody hard. Well done Man!!


Sammy G at demonic possession. I said i'd pray lol nothing to do with deliverance. But since you bought it up I think rage gives ground to the enemy and we act totally out of character...especially after a drink.

If anyone wants prayer for anything i'm more than happy to send some up. :)



Also Sam... just..tsk 8(
 
NightsEpiphany said:
I was on Paxil for a few years..it is bloody hard to withdraw. But sounds like your getting there week by week. I was going to direct you to a site called 'Paxil Progress' (Paxil is Paroxetines American name) but it looks like its been closed down. Shame because it was a really healthy forum.

I'm sure you can find other supportive sites that deal specifically with paroxetine withdrawal. Depression.com has a section.

Be kind to yourself, you've come a long way..past all the weakness and brain zaps of the first week and anxieties and edginess of the following weeks..Bloody hard. Well done Man!!


Sammy G at demonic possession. I said i'd pray lol nothing to do with deliverance. But since you bought it up I think rage gives ground to the enemy and we act totally out of character...especially after a drink.

If anyone wants prayer for anything i'm more than happy to send some up.
Also Sam... just..tsk 8(
Click to expand...

Thanks so much for the support man, its really appreciated. Im after finishing off my last and hopefully final bag of gear. Withdrawals will start to kick in in about 8 hours time to set off a rollercoaster of a week, so even though im not that religious, a prayer surely wont hurt in my battle with the evil cold turkey!!!!

Thanks again mate, night
 
FEDOR85 said:
Hey sadie, this is the perfect thread for me to apologise for some of my comments last week. It was at one of my ssri 'rage' moments, just about everything was pissing me off and you just happened to be caught in the crossfire

So hope things are cool sadie, sorry again
Click to expand...


It's alright sweetie. If you really pissed me off you'd know about it. You didn't so all is well with the world. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. I'm one of the biggest bitches you'll ever meet sadly. Most people never see that side of me so if you do I'd only suggest you run! ;) <3
Oddly enough, I'm also a very kind person. Thankfully most people only see the nice side of me.
 
@mrbuffinstuf that is a lot of booze, it can't be helping your state of mind atall particularly drinking every day. I was drinking 2 bottles of wine a day for a while some years back at the height of my MDPV problems and although I never got angry on it, my life was starting to unravel and I didn't even notice. Also drinking that much every day means youve always got alcohol in your blood and I was lucky not to crash my car on several occasions.

stopping drinking was one of the best things I ever did to improve my general mood and sense of wellbeing.
 
yep, alchohol be very bad. thank god the government print advice on the labels and do press releases telling us how much to drink.

Rage, I get it a lot, or nowadays it's a more apathetic kind of rage against the machine/system/ eternal housework. These things pass, but just coz they pass doesn't mean they're not gonna come back again.... but remember it'll pass.
 
I drank that full bottle in about 2 hours last night, passed out quite early on but not before throwing up everywhere! Not gone into work either but will go a dinner time.
Anyway, as you can all imagine I feel like shit today hopefully my brain will have decided that drinking doesn't agree with me now so can stop for a good while! Kinda annoyed with myself for how I have been just lately kind of guilty maybe I'll be a bit more humble and less angry now
 
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