yakksoho
Bluelighter
omg
This poem needs a lot of revision!! It is a year old. Help!! It is very long, I'm sorry.
Heartbeat Scandal
The words straight from his mouth leave me with a sort of happy fear
Like honey in disguise they drip into my ears
Confirming what I had never dared to dream would become true
And suddenly I'm close enough to touch the the dream that leaves me every time
This time there is no question about it; it finally came true
But it shocked me through and through
Still not knowing what to do
I stutter stumble useless drunken
Because something happened inside of me when that honey
Sickly sweet
Came dancing through the air
To touch that dream
The thought sends shivers through me like a hand of death
And in the air I see suspended the dewy mist of the first morning
When I awoke from dreaming
That first bittersweet dream
His words came rushing through me
Like a shiver in my spine
Sending rivers up my spine
Of fear
And joy
And that indescribable feeling
So wonderful
But so superficial
But yet so deep
And so important
And so amazing
That you ca'n't believe its real
And you ca'n't believe you really wanted it so badly all this time
But you do still want it
But you just don't understand
So why ca'n't I touch the dream
Now that I understand?
Because the honey circled in a drop around my eye
And came ever closer all the while to my open mouth
Which waited in horror to taste it
A horror laden with the idea that once I had tasted it
There was no way back
And as it circled round
It dropped upon the ground
And was wasted on the earth
The only drop of honey
Went straight into the earth
And my eyes could brim with tears
But instead I stood in fear
As I felt that hazy dazy crazy feeling
That you feel when life passes you by
What chance did you just miss
Before the honey left your eye?
And did you really want it
Or did you just want the dream?
I really want to hold the dream like I've been wanting to for so long
I don't remember when it started
But I remember how it felt
And now I know how it feels to miss the dream by a word
And how I really want it
Why do they bother to abuse me?
Is it really that amusing to watch another's soul disinitegrate
Before your very eyes?
Slowly slowly dying
But god just for once to slide my hand over his thighs
And god how I'd love to feel the monumental sensation as his fingers grace my skin
And I need to see his eyes
God I need to feel the sin of breaking the taboo
And headfirst just going in
Into a world I barely knew
But that I was introduced to far before it was my time
I had to wait in line but it was well worth the wait
Just don't think about the hate
Only senseless numb emotion
Drowning in devotion
A devotion sweet as honey
So sweet it is decieved by the earth so ravenous so overcome with
Greed
And a greed so surreal that it fancys only to see death
Slowly lay the bait
Just sit back and wait
I will fall into the trap (even though i always saw it)
I knew I was right
And I didn't fall for the plan without knowing what I was getting into
Because I know him all to well
To assume what others did
Funny, no, how others see it only as a truth?
And they spend so much time together
I see from yards away
The torture pouring from his mouth
And melting on his tongue
As he savours every last aching drop
A honey so sweet it makes you sick to the stomach with its burning acid fire
Fuck you with desire
And lead you on to make it something
Then blame you for your own delusions
And let it spread around
A detremental rumour
Fatal throbbing tumor
But you made up the story; all part of the master plan
And I only saw through it because I'm the only one who can
The one who makes an art of knowing your mind
The one who knows before hand of the trap you leave me to find
But I give myself into it just because I know you'll think
That I fell for it because your plan worked
And that will give you what you want
If only I were stupid instead of too damn smart
I might have not seen it coming
And not instinctually ducked
Your meandering shot of venom
But your plan did work perfectly you see
In the beginning anyway
When I was too blind
How could one expect to see with that honey in their eye?
Cloud my vision cloud my mind
With thoughts of mixed up fear
So scared to death that my wish finally came true
But I blink and then its gone
My brain outweighed my heart and forced that tear to fall
Wouldn't let it cloud my vision and give in to a lie
Wouldn't let me die
Like you wanted all along
But sometimes I wish I could just once not think it through
Just once maybe I could try to fall for dicks like you
You only want to hurt me
Bruise me and abuse me
Laughing inside as you use me
Using what you hate about me to crush my fragile soul
But maybe once I could not see what you want so bad to do to me
And maybe I could overlook your intentions as at last I took
That final step into my death
Echoing the laughter on your breath
For maybe it'd be worth the while
If I'd know I'd made you smile
9.11.00
This poem needs a lot of revision!! It is a year old. Help!! It is very long, I'm sorry.
Heartbeat Scandal
The words straight from his mouth leave me with a sort of happy fear
Like honey in disguise they drip into my ears
Confirming what I had never dared to dream would become true
And suddenly I'm close enough to touch the the dream that leaves me every time
This time there is no question about it; it finally came true
But it shocked me through and through
Still not knowing what to do
I stutter stumble useless drunken
Because something happened inside of me when that honey
Sickly sweet
Came dancing through the air
To touch that dream
The thought sends shivers through me like a hand of death
And in the air I see suspended the dewy mist of the first morning
When I awoke from dreaming
That first bittersweet dream
His words came rushing through me
Like a shiver in my spine
Sending rivers up my spine
Of fear
And joy
And that indescribable feeling
So wonderful
But so superficial
But yet so deep
And so important
And so amazing
That you ca'n't believe its real
And you ca'n't believe you really wanted it so badly all this time
But you do still want it
But you just don't understand
So why ca'n't I touch the dream
Now that I understand?
Because the honey circled in a drop around my eye
And came ever closer all the while to my open mouth
Which waited in horror to taste it
A horror laden with the idea that once I had tasted it
There was no way back
And as it circled round
It dropped upon the ground
And was wasted on the earth
The only drop of honey
Went straight into the earth
And my eyes could brim with tears
But instead I stood in fear
As I felt that hazy dazy crazy feeling
That you feel when life passes you by
What chance did you just miss
Before the honey left your eye?
And did you really want it
Or did you just want the dream?
I really want to hold the dream like I've been wanting to for so long
I don't remember when it started
But I remember how it felt
And now I know how it feels to miss the dream by a word
And how I really want it
Why do they bother to abuse me?
Is it really that amusing to watch another's soul disinitegrate
Before your very eyes?
Slowly slowly dying
But god just for once to slide my hand over his thighs
And god how I'd love to feel the monumental sensation as his fingers grace my skin
And I need to see his eyes
God I need to feel the sin of breaking the taboo
And headfirst just going in
Into a world I barely knew
But that I was introduced to far before it was my time
I had to wait in line but it was well worth the wait
Just don't think about the hate
Only senseless numb emotion
Drowning in devotion
A devotion sweet as honey
So sweet it is decieved by the earth so ravenous so overcome with
Greed
And a greed so surreal that it fancys only to see death
Slowly lay the bait
Just sit back and wait
I will fall into the trap (even though i always saw it)
I knew I was right
And I didn't fall for the plan without knowing what I was getting into
Because I know him all to well
To assume what others did
Funny, no, how others see it only as a truth?
And they spend so much time together
I see from yards away
The torture pouring from his mouth
And melting on his tongue
As he savours every last aching drop
A honey so sweet it makes you sick to the stomach with its burning acid fire
Fuck you with desire
And lead you on to make it something
Then blame you for your own delusions
And let it spread around
A detremental rumour
Fatal throbbing tumor
But you made up the story; all part of the master plan
And I only saw through it because I'm the only one who can
The one who makes an art of knowing your mind
The one who knows before hand of the trap you leave me to find
But I give myself into it just because I know you'll think
That I fell for it because your plan worked
And that will give you what you want
If only I were stupid instead of too damn smart
I might have not seen it coming
And not instinctually ducked
Your meandering shot of venom
But your plan did work perfectly you see
In the beginning anyway
When I was too blind
How could one expect to see with that honey in their eye?
Cloud my vision cloud my mind
With thoughts of mixed up fear
So scared to death that my wish finally came true
But I blink and then its gone
My brain outweighed my heart and forced that tear to fall
Wouldn't let it cloud my vision and give in to a lie
Wouldn't let me die
Like you wanted all along
But sometimes I wish I could just once not think it through
Just once maybe I could try to fall for dicks like you
You only want to hurt me
Bruise me and abuse me
Laughing inside as you use me
Using what you hate about me to crush my fragile soul
But maybe once I could not see what you want so bad to do to me
And maybe I could overlook your intentions as at last I took
That final step into my death
Echoing the laughter on your breath
For maybe it'd be worth the while
If I'd know I'd made you smile
9.11.00
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