Relapse a worrying self reflection. advice?

[Euphoric Spirit]

Idk where to start. Alot of people in recovery say when you relapse you start off where you left off. If that's true i feel like my mental health is gunna be destroyed soon, I'm at a fork which is why I'm making this I need advice. I posted on here recently about my recent relapse. Lemme give you the short form. I wanted to die, had a stroke, lost everything and got sober still. So I recently started rebuilding and sure enough I relapsed. But I feel like for the first time ever spiritually I'm becoming lost... My question for everyone is when you were at your lowest point and nothing and nobody could help you what did you do?
Idk I didnt wanna make this super long but if anyone here has time and can gimme some advice I'm all ears. I know alot about recovery it's not the getting aober part it's the finding a reason. Maybe learning to love yourself. Idk.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

When you at your lowest point and nobody can help us we just have to help ourselves. Learning to love ourself is a start and can go a long way. Everones reasons for staying clean are different as we all have our own set of life circumstances. We are different ages and in different Countries and have different cultures and stuff so I find it is always helpful to take a black sharpie and write down the reasons i want to do something. Then take that piece of paper and put it somewhere that you see it every day and often several times a day.

Things like " Are you tired of being broke because you spend your money on drugs and then you have to go without paying your bills and you get your utilities shut off?

Do you go without good food because you are broke? Not feeding your animals properly?

Getting criminal charges? Making your family cry? Falling down and sustaining injuries or wrecking your vehicle?

Waking up sick? Going to bed sick?

Getting fired from jobs? Having to couch surf because you didn't pay the rent?

Tired of dealing with shady dealers that are pushing presses and dirty fent?

I could make a list a mile long but you get the idea. Some of these might not apply to you and some will. Make a list of your own personal reasons that you want to get out of the game and then read it daily. Fight for your recovery. Make it a mission. Don't be tempted by friends or your past behavior. It is a lifelong struggle to stay away from the drugs that are causing us misery but if you WANT it bad enough and are willing to put the hard work in it can be yours. You can be happy and clean but it isn't easy. You will have to have mind over matter until you can make peace with it.

Godspeed.

 

[Euphoric Spirit]

Th

When you at your lowest point and nobody can help us we just have to help ourselves. Learning to love ourself is a start and can go a long way. Everones reasons for staying clean are different as we all have our own set of life circumstances. We are different ages and in different Countries and have different cultures and stuff so I find it is always helpful to take a black sharpie and write down the reasons i want to do something. Then take that piece of paper and put it somewhere that you see it every day and often several times a day.

Things like " Are you tired of being broke because you spend your money on drugs and then you have to go without paying your bills and you get your utilities shut off?

Do you go without good food because you are broke? Not feeding your animals properly?

Getting criminal charges? Making your family cry? Falling down and sustaining injuries or wrecking your vehicle?

Waking up sick? Going to bed sick?

Getting fired from jobs? Having to couch surf because you didn't pay the rent?

Tired of dealing with shady dealers that are pushing presses and dirty fent?

I could make a list a mile long but you get the idea. Some of these might not apply to you and some will. Make a list of your own personal reasons that you want to get out of the game and then read it daily. Fight for your recovery. Make it a mission. Don't be tempted by friends or your past behavior. It is a lifelong struggle to stay away from the drugs that are causing us misery but if you WANT it bad enough and are willing to put the hard work in it can be yours. You can be happy and clean but it isn't easy. You will have to have mind over matter until you can make peace with it.

Godspee

When you at your lowest point and nobody can help us we just have to help ourselves. Learning to love ourself is a start and can go a long way. Everones reasons for staying clean are different as we all have our own set of life circumstances. We are different ages and in different Countries and have different cultures and stuff so I find it is always helpful to take a black sharpie and write down the reasons i want to do something. Then take that piece of paper and put it somewhere that you see it every day and often several times a day.

Things like " Are you tired of being broke because you spend your money on drugs and then you have to go without paying your bills and you get your utilities shut off?

Do you go without good food because you are broke? Not feeding your animals properly?

Getting criminal charges? Making your family cry? Falling down and sustaining injuries or wrecking your vehicle?

Waking up sick? Going to bed sick?

Getting fired from jobs? Having to couch surf because you didn't pay the rent?

Tired of dealing with shady dealers that are pushing presses and dirty fent?

I could make a list a mile long but you get the idea. Some of these might not apply to you and some will. Make a list of your own personal reasons that you want to get out of the game and then read it daily. Fight for your recovery. Make it a mission. Don't be tempted by friends or your past behavior. It is a lifelong struggle to stay away from the drugs that are causing us misery but if you WANT it bad enough and are willing to put the hard work in it can be yours. You can be happy and clean but it isn't easy. You will have to have mind over matter until you can make peace with it.

Godspeed.

Thanks for the reply. It means alot. That's exactly what I needed to and have been doing. Looking inwards. I'm a very spiritual person but when that spirituality is lost it's dangerous. I ended up forcing myself into a hike. It was nice and the same day I through out what drugs I had. It's never easy but I'm gunna keep moving forward.
Thanks again

 

[dragonix]

Beats the heck out of me I am balls deep on substances right now but not the kind I can't make it into work on time this morning I know what I have to gain by stopping though and it simply is far more valuable than any intoxication my weekly paycheckand no savings can be wasted entirely wasted on I guess I need to get sick and tired again to snap out of this cycle but if I think i can stay out without support my ego tricked me again that being said no amount of support can start practicing the beneficial daily habits that help me stay clean.

I don't want more pain and loss that is all getting high routinely will be bringing me here has been so I just need to get back on the wagon once I wash off.

Wrong guy to ask but I tried to answer with something you need to find something you like or want more than using maybe there is nothing or using has no negative consequences for you but you had a stroke?