newcastleboy
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2015
- Messages
- 5
Hi everyone,
So basically I have been going through a tough time over the past couple of years. I have dropped out of university through an anxiety attack, and lost most of my close friends due to a lack of communication with everyone I know and 2 weeks ago I lost my job.
It’s safe to say that although I am not generally massively depressed, I am definitely letting it get to me right now.
I have started having this little break-outs where my dealer will text me asking if I want any coke/mdma etc and I will just go on a binge – alone. Sometime I end up at the dealer’s house or even a friends place. My dealer is actually a really nice dude and my mother knows him from the work she does. But I end up canning all my feelings at the end of the session and drinking till I sleep! Which, I’m aware sounds grim and it is! Especially alone. Which brings me to my next point. not having a partner (or relationship) is starting to feel so lonely, does anyone recommend dating sites? As you can see im a right mess at the moment haha and don’t really meet many women! Just I just not mention any of my problems right off the bat when I do!?
So, I’m actually taking MDMA right now – and have been for several hours. Its funny because, I have taken MDMA lots of times in social situations and loved it but today seems different, kind of a shapeless/wonder-less high where I’m kind of just feeling anxious that my heart and stomach don’t feel right and having issues relaxing because of it. At first I felt like it must have been ‘shitty’ stuff, but then I released its me – you can have a poor trip/experience by yourself on MDMA so really don’t do it, save it for another day, where you can do it with others. I had a similar experience on coke the other day (about 2 weeks ago).
I am now worrying about taking more because of the way my heart is feeling. Although I know this is all anxiety based. However, clearly, it’s there and if I’m being realistic I will end up having it to keep going till the morning now. I also have a 10 bag of weed and 35cl of dark rum for the come down, what does everyone think I should do? Do I have a problem, do others do this?
For everyone who has done MDMA, they will know it has anxiety relieving properties and your always ‘good’ on it but im feeling a little under whelmed – has anyone got any suggestions of what I can do/watch? And how I can alleviate this anxiety please? What music does anyone suggest?
Thanks a lot for reading something about me, I hope some of you feel you have some advice for me, perhaps you’ve been through similar things? Or if not, just want to let me know what you think I should do?
Kez
So basically I have been going through a tough time over the past couple of years. I have dropped out of university through an anxiety attack, and lost most of my close friends due to a lack of communication with everyone I know and 2 weeks ago I lost my job.
It’s safe to say that although I am not generally massively depressed, I am definitely letting it get to me right now.
I have started having this little break-outs where my dealer will text me asking if I want any coke/mdma etc and I will just go on a binge – alone. Sometime I end up at the dealer’s house or even a friends place. My dealer is actually a really nice dude and my mother knows him from the work she does. But I end up canning all my feelings at the end of the session and drinking till I sleep! Which, I’m aware sounds grim and it is! Especially alone. Which brings me to my next point. not having a partner (or relationship) is starting to feel so lonely, does anyone recommend dating sites? As you can see im a right mess at the moment haha and don’t really meet many women! Just I just not mention any of my problems right off the bat when I do!?
So, I’m actually taking MDMA right now – and have been for several hours. Its funny because, I have taken MDMA lots of times in social situations and loved it but today seems different, kind of a shapeless/wonder-less high where I’m kind of just feeling anxious that my heart and stomach don’t feel right and having issues relaxing because of it. At first I felt like it must have been ‘shitty’ stuff, but then I released its me – you can have a poor trip/experience by yourself on MDMA so really don’t do it, save it for another day, where you can do it with others. I had a similar experience on coke the other day (about 2 weeks ago).
I am now worrying about taking more because of the way my heart is feeling. Although I know this is all anxiety based. However, clearly, it’s there and if I’m being realistic I will end up having it to keep going till the morning now. I also have a 10 bag of weed and 35cl of dark rum for the come down, what does everyone think I should do? Do I have a problem, do others do this?
For everyone who has done MDMA, they will know it has anxiety relieving properties and your always ‘good’ on it but im feeling a little under whelmed – has anyone got any suggestions of what I can do/watch? And how I can alleviate this anxiety please? What music does anyone suggest?
Thanks a lot for reading something about me, I hope some of you feel you have some advice for me, perhaps you’ve been through similar things? Or if not, just want to let me know what you think I should do?
Kez
