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a very bizarre mental experience. would appreciate some light on the matter if poss.

T

the black sun

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May 9, 2009
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England
hey.
i have just had a very weird experience that has never happened before to me. it wasn't scary it was a like a moment passing but felt very intense.
i have recently been listening to eckhart tolle's audio book "the power of now" and i think this may have had some sort of effect.

what has happened is that today i have been with my mother. we have an awkward relationship. she is in denial about alot of things and i have to spend my time with her at a distance emotionally otherwise they become in control of me in negative ways. although being with her mostly results into negative emotions anyway i still love her and have to see her time to time. today we basically went shopping it was a good day out.

there was an instance though when we spoke about something and i knew she was lieing to me about something. when my mother does this (which is alot) i always get so wound up over it. i start over thinking and my time with her becomes unpleasant. as the day went on i still had this underlying feeling and just brushed it off the best i could.

when i got home i told her goodbye and that i love her. it was nice. i then started feeling quite guilty that she spent this money onto me and that feeling like this was somehow ungrateful. i then go through this feeling of guilt that actually fills the heart and then slowly takes over my head. in eckhart's teaching he says not to ride this and to then associate yourself in the now. i did associate myself with this feeling today and it got quite deep.

so all night i have had this thing scratching at my heart (that is basically how it feels) like something is just wanting to get out or more scarily get in. i have been doing things all night to keep my mind off my thoughts and feelings so i watched a bit of star trek film (new one and it is pretty damn good!!). i have work in 4 hours and it is 12am. not a problem but i can't sleep due to this thing inside me.

i turn off my computer and i'm lying there in my bed resting. to get to sleep i sometimes force myself to day dream about something which is when i feel that my heart beat is creating a rushing noise in my ear. i think this is due to maybe high blood pressure or something (that was my initial thought). i start to do some breathing exercises. as i am doing these exercises i then start concentrating on the breathing and try my best to sink into the now while concentrating on the noises that are going on outside. as this is happening i i have this very clear voice in my head. this voice i recognize. it is my own and i have it alot but this time it is very forceful and reassuring in what it was saying. it was giving me this perfect advice on why im feeling like i am and why it wouldn't stay around any longer than it should. i then feel my head tingle slightly all around the sides and before i could figure out what happened it stopped. the feeling didn't dissapear instantly it quickly faded and i was quite bewildered to what had gone on. it mostly felt like i was about to have some sort of anxiety attack but something got in the way and stopped it all from happening. i still feel quite stable and relieved.

the only problem i have is with work and i do have a shitty feeling from that but that is another story and i have been riding the feeling for a good few days maybe if i put my mind to it i could do the same with this. that is another story though.

thanks for reading. i hope someone can give me some experienced insight to what has happened. if i am, am i on the right path to understanding more of what has happened. could i somehow enlighten and make this "protector of self" (that is the only way i can explain it) better. also how so?

i am very interested and if this was spiritual it is my first ever experience.
 
Sleep paralysis quite possibly. Many mistake this for a spiritual experience. Voices. Presences. Auras. Sensations from various senses. Astral travel. All sleep paralysis.

I have experienced all these things personally. I found a way to provoke sleep paralysis by spending days and days just sleeping sleeping so much that sleep poisons build up in your head and practically everytime you start to drift off I would experience various halucinations including virtually every aspect of spirituality people claim to experience even astral travel.

Example I floated up off my bed turned over could see my body below me and left my room and entered the common room where I proceeded to attack someone I did not like with my ghostly body which had grown claws as desired.
 
yeah no doubt i experienced anxiety but what happened after that was what makes it so profound. normally i just fall in a pit and have an anxiety attack. like i was about to have the attack and then everything that was turbulent inside just stopped. it has never happened before this way.
 
Sorry to break it to you bud, but it's all in your head. It's your mind playing with you. The brain is EXTREMELY powerful...more powerful than you could even imagine.
 
Hi Black Sun:

No disrespect to the other posters here, but what they're doing is taking your experience and labeling it away (it's anxiety/sleep paralysis/just in your head). My opinion is, if this experience has left an impression on you, then it IS a spiritual experience. It has shaken your view of the world to one degree or another, and it seems you feel the need to come to an understanding of it. Ultimately, only you can really understand it and decide whether it has larger implications to be pursued, or if it is insignificant.

Great choice with Mr. Tolle - if you really listen to him, there will be a shift. My only advice is: don't try to force things, just follow your heart-mind and let the breakthroughs happen when they will.
 
Yes, lately I can spot everything another person or animal is feeling why looking at me (animals don't have the ability of consciously giving off different vibe). While it used to be something I would have guesswork of. Now, it's practically visually visible. Like a glowing or endarkened feeling. Or harsher or more soft.
 
I agree with Cthulhu. What I honestly believe this to be is your conscious. Now, if it is your conscious, you need to listen to it. Don't force it to speak to you again, but defiantly do not ignore it. Lewis goes into this a bit with the paradox of repentance. He's not really talking about your situation, but he does believe that if you ignor that voice that gives you insight, it will get quieter and quieter untill you cannot hear it anymore. Follow your conscious.
 
yeah, i agree. i seem to get mixed up with my thoughts most of the time. i think more about what i could of done differently in past situations rather than actually thinking about what i can be doing differently now. i know " the power of now" is more about being in contact with your conciseness, but i tend to drift off back into the wilderness.
any ways you guys know on how to see clearer into the consciousness. most of the time at the moment i think about work and brings alot of revolving negativity in my head that i can't seem to shake off. i am finding a new job. something a bit more social.
 
concentrating more on the OP i have given it some thought and still think something profound happened that night. i have experianced sleep paralysis before and i am perfectly aware to how strong my anxiety is.
that night when this "thing" happened it just felt completely fine. i don't want to sound all wibbly wobbly or anything but from what kush said before, i could have been alot closer to my own consciousness that night and thus become more towards myself for security rather than having to find something external.
 
the black sun said:
i know " the power of now" is more about being in contact with your conciseness, but i tend to drift off back into the wilderness.
any ways you guys know on how to see clearer into the consciousness.
Click to expand...

Find the space in which all things exist. Your sensations, feelings, and thoughts all could not exist without this infinite space in which they arise, move about, and are transformed into other things. The space is where it's at! The source of all peace, because it is where all things find their natural place. One way that I have personally found useful is to stop trying to control the universe with my thoughts, and instead to synchronize my whole being with the will of the universe as I move through the space.
 
Ninae said:
Yes, lately I can spot everything another person or animal is feeling why looking at me (animals don't have the ability of consciously giving off different vibe). While it used to be something I would have guesswork of. Now, it's practically visually visible. Like a glowing or endarkened feeling. Or harsher or more soft.
Click to expand...

Would you mind demonstrating this under controlled conditions?
 
If you believe in such things, it could have been another aspect of yourself that isn't tied to the physical body and exists out of time/space. Some people call this the Higher Self or soul.

I think it was telling you to forgive yourself and others. To let it go. That there is no need to carry around extra baggage. I think it was a good thing.

The tingling... did it almost feel electric in a way? If it frightens you it may not ever happen again. I experienced this once and the vibes literally freaked me out and now I cannot recreate it no matter how hard I try. When it is happening the first time it can be unsettling. But supposedly once you recognize it, go with it. It is said that the vibes should be concentrated on, encouraged to increase and spread all over the body and raised to a fever pitch. At a certain point it is supposed to all level out. I think some DMT reports from Rick Strassman showed similar events. Some people felt a pop, whoosh or a push. Others felt the vibes. I'm sure you have probably heard a loud BANG in between wake/sleep cycles. The term is Hypnagogia.

If you are interested I think the books by Robert Monroe might help you. He had similar experiences that came out of no where. He thought he was dying at first, or perhaps had a brain tumor. After finding no medical problems after several checkups, Monroe's psychologist friend told him to go with it and see what happens. And wow what a ride he had. He never said he took drugs, but ''invented'' binaural technology to trick the mind into different states.

Just for fun here's a list of frequencies and their related effect on the brain.

http://www.lunarsight.com/freq.htm
 
sounds really interesting ill take a look into it. basically it was more like a "fuzz pop" and basically covered my head in a tingling sensation for only half a second. it was literally like everything negative was taken from and just evaporated. my mood instantly changed too. i didn't feel asif it was a threat at the moment but like i said, before i realized what was happening it was over. i do remember wanting to just collapse onto my pillow though as i was sitting up at the time.
cheers for the info ill check it out now
 
i honestly get that tingling feeling constantly with sleep paralysis. It's extremely common. Sometimes when anxiety gets too intense, you end up calming down and not panicking but instead disconnect from your body or reality. This is what happens when i quit benzos, i feel calm yet i am completely going crazy, with derealization and depersonalization. It's your psyche's way of protecting itself. I think once anxiety hits a certain level it manifests itself in psychosis related symptoms and you feel calm. This is what I think happened. You can think of it as a spiritual experience either way but i think it can be explained biologically quite easy.

@ninae: i used to think i could read animals, trees and humans, sometimes when i'm tripping i still think i can, during this time though i was in psychosis and didn't realize it until long after. The reason we can tell that everyone is not just a robot or a figment of our imagination is that they surprise us (ie. you can't read them completely).
 
yeah biologically it is easily explained and to me it's easily understood. i don't want to put it in to any context. give it scientific or spiritual. at the end of the day i had a profound experience that i can remember quite easily.
thing is though i wasn't asleep at the time. i was trying to sleep but before this experience happened i was leaning upright while this experienced happened to think about what was going on. iv'e had sleep paralysis before and know the difference. still though, sleep paralysis is a whole different experience in it's own right.
the only time i have had it is when i woke up still felt asif i was in a dream but was aware i was awake. it wasn't a false awakening though. i fell back to sleep and woke up again not being able to move but i heard this high pitched noise in my ear. i did some research on this and apparently it is blamed on the fluid in the ear or something along them lines? anyway, i attempted to move and couldn't. the strange thing was that i didn't feel any panic. maybe this was due to the fact that even though i was aware of myself not being able to move, my brain could of been totally disconnected from the fight or flight part of my reaction. who knows.

anybody else had any profound personal experiences like these?
 
I've had many psychic experiences during the period of falling to sleep. It seems to be a time when the conscious mind becomes less able to interfere with the in-flow of other things. It sounds like your higher self had some words to share with you much like in a meditative state. I hope you took your own advice to heart.
 
yeah the words were very clear like it came from an outside realm of the mind. asif most of the time our mind is covered in fog that is everything we think. this is just a curtain to cover up what is really there. i hope one day i will come closer to it and even make contact again. i'm currently in the process of changing directions in careers at work. my head is mostly foggy at the moment but i am optimistic :)
 
If it truly was a spiritual experience, you would know. You wouldn't need to justify it on here.
 
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