• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

A tough girl... But in a world of pain. Boyfriend cheated.Need words of encouragement

Prudentpartygirl

Prudentpartygirl

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 7, 2014
Messages
54
Location
Big Apple
Ok to make a long story short... That will likely turn into a rambling-style rant, my boyfriend of 5 yrs has been cheating.

I know I'm new to BL.. and am not expecting sympathy, but also hope there's no judgement. I have been drinking, smoking cigs and blowing lines since 11p last night. With friends until about 1ish... Then by myself (well... Me and Pandora Radio... David Guetta radio at the moment... But it's been a diverse mix of stations most of the night... From house, to def leppard, to sappy love song stations...) see, rant... Ranting at its finest.

All because I was sent this email yesterday:
Not sure of your official status with Leo because he did tell me he had an ex and was couch surfing, but he was seeing me since late July until I just ended it this weekend when I told him I knew about you. I know you guys spent Labor Day Weekend together, which made me think you were his girlfriend. I'm thankful you are all over social media and were easy to find. I see you guys have been together for years and possibly even living together.


He told me he was also 35, which I know he's more like 40. This guys is like a pro at lying. Kind of sad actually. I gave him plenty of opportunities to come clean on various things and he didn't. So don't believe any bs stories he tells you. I have text from him if you would like to see them.


You seem like an amazing person and are gorgeous. I think we would totally get along with eachother if circumstances were different.


From one powerful woman to another...I hope you ditch that loser like I did because we are way to good for a douche like him. If you already have ditched him congrats and don't ever take him back.
 
Then a few hrs later this:
I apologize for the detail, but the more you know the less he can try to dupe you into taking him back or continuing to see him. You should know that months ago he was on pof.com and more recently tinder. He also told me it would usually take 2-4 dates to sleep with a girl, which I don't doubt and I'm sure he's been doing this a lot.


I'm sure he's cheated on every woman that has cared about him. He clearly has issues.


I've been cheated on after spending 7.5 years with a guy. It's not easy, but you are beautiful. Hell we both are beautiful and thankfully there are lots of other decent guys out there in the world.
 
Well, lets start at the beginning. Have you confronted your boyfriend with this information?
 
The latter email also contained a PDF screenshot... That is 18pp long... Of text exchanges between my then boyfriend and this woman. Raunchy, awful..

words of comfort? Questions?
 
Well at least you found out before you were like married with children or something! Uhh, is that encouraging? :D
 
There's a ton of backstory to this... Which if I had the energy to finger-tap type on my iPad I would divulge....but I will rile up the energy to give a snapshot:

we went on vacation to my family's house in Nantucket for LDW. While he was there he was on Tinder... AND JUST SO HAPPENED....

TOOOO "swipe right" to my little sisters best childhood friend (my sister is 30 now... No weird pedophilia here). She immediately sends the screen shots to my sis bc she recognized him. I then, of course, get the shots. I call him on the phone (we had just sent him off as he had to leave a day earlier than me) and hash out the obvious and tell him he must move out.

he of course, is very upset, has a story and excuse... Calls my mother to apologize, sends flowers to the apt, to my fitness studio, emails and texts incessantly song lyrics, poems, shows up to the apt several times, begs, cries... A 6'4" 250lb Mexican/American Indian crying and pleading... If I had video I would share.... Bc why not...

And after 3 weeks or so I start warming up. He seems sorry... We all make mistakes... This is the only incidence of this type of thing....

Literally yesterday I woke up and decided I think we should try and work it out. We had one of the first normal, fun, witty text exchanges we have had since it all happened... An hour later I get the first email.

that may seem like the extended version... But sadly it's not lol... There is more but for the purpose of the post, it's not important.
 
True. Although... I don't think I want to have kids... And am not a fan of marriage (maybe bc I haven't met the right guy? Who knows...) so I feel like we were as serious as I could get. Living together... Together a long time....
 
I know I will be fine on my own. I have my own business, I live in a beautiful apt that I'm very happy in and can handle on my own... I take good care of myself (except during the moments that I'm totally NOT taking care of myself... But not a daily or even monthly habit... Although over the past few weeks it's been complete benders each weekend) (by myself in my apt lol... Yay.)

HOWEVER... I AM SAD. I AM ANGRY. I DONT UNDERSTAND, AND I AM, FRANKLY TOTALLY FLOORED. After being together for 5 yrs this all happens within the last month.

Universe? What's the deal lol
 
You sound like a strong person. You will get through this. I understand the shock and awe of this happening after 5 years. All the evidence is in front of you. Do what makes you happy. Throw yourself into your work, your friends, things that make you happy. Time heals EVERYTHING. Dont give him the time of day. He isnt worth a second. I can understand the band aid benders every weekend. Try not to use this as an excuse to let yourself get too crazy.
 
Thanks Annie :). I appreciate the words of encouragement... I always beat myself up after I get crazy.. I have been a bit more lenient as of late, however, bc I feel like I need to purge... Maybe it's just an excuse... At any rate, I'm letting myself get it all out so to speak lol... I know I will get over this but I am in such unfamiliar territory... So no coping mechanisms, or situations to compare anything to. No one has ever snowed me like this. I'm fortunate to be able to say that, but it sucks. I'm hurt. I hate boys. ?
 
You will absolutely get through this. You just have to promise yourself one thing: do not ever get back with this guy! You are a strong woman and you do not need a lying asshole, there are plenty of men out there that love and respect women fully and I know that you can find that if you look in the right places with the right intentions. Try not to self medicate although I understand. Just know that before you know it you will be laughing at how pathetic this guy is and how much better, stronger, and more independent you are than he is. You are amazing, do not ever let a guy tell you any different or treat you any different.
 
Listen any woman deserves better than how you were treated. It makes me mad when so many guys out there try to be players because they feel it ups there status among friends or It is cool. I know it hurts and it hurts bad. Just realize that there are guys out there who truly adore the woman they love. And you seem absolutely amazing and it's not going to take long to find one of those guys and you will look back at this as a terrible lesson learned but all for the better.
 
he's a cheater, it wont change.

buttttt, was he with this other girl for 7.5 years. i'm a little confused.

he is just one man and not everyone treats people badly.

time will heal things. he sounds like he doesn't value his relationship with you. you should move on
 
Sounds awful but i believe everything happens for a reason. You haven't wasted the time spent with this guy because you've learnt some valuable life lessons from this dickhead. You deserve better and things will start to fall into place once you use this opportunity to YOUR ADVANTAGE. What i mean by that is start a fresh, re-invent yourself (not change yourself), get rid of everything in your life that doesn't make you happy, surround yourself only with your true friends whose company you enjoy and love, do things you enjoy and have fun. You can move on with your life, he may feel he can but realistically he's just caught in a cycle of cheating until getting found out. He's a lonely soul who isn't mature enough for anything serious. You deserve better. Work hard. Get better. Do better!
 
Well its been about a month to wrap your head around this 'stuff'. Were you in love with this dink? Stupid question. Strike that. You were with him for 5. That says it all.
What a f__ing dink. Dang. Lady, I really hope your doing alright; have moved on and closed the door on this piece of work. I can imagine as i've been cheated on once before a long long time ago and it still urks my bit. Got pretty jaded too so uh, watch out for that. Don't let yourself get too closed off from the notion that there are good and loyal men out there.
You have a good life, happy home, food in your pantry (if not, go get some. Balance out the bumps, you know what I mean) TAke it easy there sister.
Stay bright, shine on and don't you dare let this guy back in your life no matter how sweet or how good he lies as I bet he's going to try real hard. Well F that.
Hey, go hydrate. and i'm talking h2o. balance the bumps and don't let the bumps do you.

light and love to you dear lady
everything will be alright
at least you got rid of the four headed one eyed wanker
 
Trust me when I say this...a leopard does not, cannot change its spots...he will not change he will cheat again...you invested 5 yrs...better that than more...run run as fast as you can...it will hurt for awhile but trust me you will be better off in the long run...you deserve someone who respects you and loves you...he does not. You have found multiple evidence of multiple cheats and lies...you do not deserve that...no one does...and you are correct he's only upset he got caught...



Sorry...I see this has been resolved...I hope you are doing well...
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top