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A Symphony is Cry Shaped Minor

sunEdltye

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 25, 2000
Messages
2,666
Location
Orange County, California
Holding my head up high baby. Only because it happenned...
I was at my spa and there was no light in the bathroom. Then a light. I smoked one bowl of weed. I just needed to stop breathing. But I came out of the spa. Sitting in the hot water that turned my leg to ice. I had to write this, but how could I right this? Then I began to think..."Does it rain on the peak of mountains or only snow?" I'd hate to live in a place that never rained. Rain is so beautiful. Water falling from the sky, like angels jumping off clouds. A great thought I had after that, but I cant remember it. I never will remember it, it is gone forever. Like love, it can never be replaced. But what about these other great thoughts I've had. Ones I always remember. I needed to submerge myself into the hot waters of my jacuzzi to feel replenished. My body underneath water, playing dead. So calm that I almost forgot to breath. Walking off the cold road paved with leaves, it hurt. I never will be able to see my ex again because she hates druggies. I am classed as the junky I am, and the junky I want to be. But that wasnt what hurt. For some strange reason, that felt good. What hurt was my heart. Surrounded in barb wire I havent let a girl through since. But I have no defense against you. Not a love poem, but a mind song. Can this ciggerette burn my lungs? Can it kill me now? I was waiting for my lungs to hurt from my ciggerette, but it never did. Nothing happenned.
This piece ends on a Euphoric Major Chord.
Andante
Inside space. Rollercoaster through the cosmos. Miss Saigon is all I think about, but the love was always there. Glowing neon lights filled with party kids dancing to the pulse of sound at 3am. Angels soaring over the blue nights to watch the animals sleep. This overview of world is just wind through a whisle. This reasoning is only dead brain cells. The world we live in is just an apartment. We all have to pay the price to live here. Thus, God invented pain. But he forgot how good it feels to be hurt. That rush of pleasure followed by a shot of taste. But this isnt the Mississippi and where not Tom Sawyer. I cant sail down that river in a raft and sleep outside with the fire flies. I cant do that without you. We WILL do that in my life time. Because I want you to see the fireflies.
This 2nd movement ended on an Unsure Tri Tone.
Finale.
Openning my door, the sunshine just hits me. My cigerrete is my best friend again and my clothes are clean. I am me again, I am not in trance but in shoes. I can think about what I need to do, then forget about them. I can close the door to depression just because I open a door of freedom. Such a glorious day. Such a paradise we call Earth. The end just happens. It isnt nothing that leads up, but a sudden end, like life.
The End.
Evan
 
How did I miss this?
I'm with AJ, I love the way you composed this. The idea of music behind it, adds a whole new dimension of feeling to your writing. And your writing is beautiful. Wonderful, Evan. :)
 
:D evan this was brilliant. i dont know how i missed it the first time around, but i'm glad i didn't miss it again. :)
Mella
 
I cant sail down that river in a raft and sleep outside with the fire flies. I cant do that without you. We WILL do that in my life time. Because I want you to see the fireflies.
beautiful :) nice words.
 
"Water falling from the sky, like angels jumping off clouds. A great thought I had after that, but I cant remember it. I never will remember it, it is gone forever. Like love, it can never be replaced. But what about these other great thoughts I've had. Ones I always remember."
i really like the way you think.
~lil
 
I just re-read this (which is rare) and it seems like something I didnt write. Just let me step outside myself and criticize/praise my work not as the poet, but as a reader.
It is feelings I wish I could relate too. Those words were once flowing from my tounge, but now they seemed to have almost stopped. I'm still amazed at how that was written, for it almost feels like a trip.
I'm really glad someone bumped this and I read it again. Thank you all for your kind words, I really do charish them :)
Evan
 
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