WhereIdrive4532
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Hey guys, I hope this is an appropriate use of these forums. I know it's not a particularly interesting story, but I just needed to be able to tell it somewhere. Anyways, I am 22 years old and stared doing crystal meth about a year ago. At first, it was obviously the best thing imaginable. It made everything so interesting. I like to think of myself as a musician and a day feels complete when it's filled with some sort of musical project. Guess what. Crystal Meth always filled my days with music. Fuck that. It could fill the next few days with music. I would just stay up and only stop playing till my wrist was about to snap. It's kinda messed up, but I didn't care about the damage I was doing to myself. It made me feel like I could be someone great. There was a Lou Reed quote I would tell myself. Well, not really a quote because I never could remember his exact words, but something like "music is everything and what is worth dying for." So that is what I did.
At first it was working out pretty well. I was moderating myself to only doing it once or twice per week. I could function between highs, but when it was time I was guaranteed a product. So, my life was just better than before. But, then I fucked myself. I was in college and with finals week I had a bunch of papers. I only knew how to write papers on meth anymore, so I told myself "a week binge and then I go back to my normal use. Can't do to much harm in just a week, right?" This week started in early December and has lasted up to today.
No one chooses too be addicted to meth, huh? I mean, yeah, they choose to do the drug cause it's awesome, but not the addiction. No one would choose something so fucking horrid. And yes one has to know the risk when thinking about trying something new, but how is it that possible? It was heaven. I had no conception of how great everything could feel. And once you see heaven you can't just let it go.
So, that one little mistake. When you are drunk with your friends and a white powder appears. You tell yourself "sure I've done coke and I'm fine. Let's try this one out." Then that idiot fucks your life. One little line and it's over. You can never be satisfied again. A year later you can't even do meth anymore. I mean sure your putting the shit into you, but its not meth. Meth is perfect. This stuff now, you do cause it's the only thing you know how to do.
So yeah. That's it I guess. A year later and I'm blowing through a gram daily. Trying to break through some deep layer of apathy, even though I have seen countless times that it doesn't work. What I once loved about it is gone. It doesn't make me want to make music . It doesn't make me want to do anything, but be afraid of being out of meth. I know this story has probably been told a million times so I'm sorry if it was just a random babble. Methheads, right? Anyways, thanks for listening.
At first it was working out pretty well. I was moderating myself to only doing it once or twice per week. I could function between highs, but when it was time I was guaranteed a product. So, my life was just better than before. But, then I fucked myself. I was in college and with finals week I had a bunch of papers. I only knew how to write papers on meth anymore, so I told myself "a week binge and then I go back to my normal use. Can't do to much harm in just a week, right?" This week started in early December and has lasted up to today.
No one chooses too be addicted to meth, huh? I mean, yeah, they choose to do the drug cause it's awesome, but not the addiction. No one would choose something so fucking horrid. And yes one has to know the risk when thinking about trying something new, but how is it that possible? It was heaven. I had no conception of how great everything could feel. And once you see heaven you can't just let it go.
So, that one little mistake. When you are drunk with your friends and a white powder appears. You tell yourself "sure I've done coke and I'm fine. Let's try this one out." Then that idiot fucks your life. One little line and it's over. You can never be satisfied again. A year later you can't even do meth anymore. I mean sure your putting the shit into you, but its not meth. Meth is perfect. This stuff now, you do cause it's the only thing you know how to do.
So yeah. That's it I guess. A year later and I'm blowing through a gram daily. Trying to break through some deep layer of apathy, even though I have seen countless times that it doesn't work. What I once loved about it is gone. It doesn't make me want to make music . It doesn't make me want to do anything, but be afraid of being out of meth. I know this story has probably been told a million times so I'm sorry if it was just a random babble. Methheads, right? Anyways, thanks for listening.
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