A sobering moment

Today I was thinking back to a moment earlier this year that struck me really hard, and made me realise just how much my drug addiction was affecting those around me. Over a period of about a year, I'd been noticing that my dad was acting more and more distant towards me. Conversation was minimal, and he'd never ask about the latest goings-on in my life.

Eventually I approached my mum about this and asked her why he was doing this. She sat down with me and explained that dad had been trying to emotionally distance himself from me for a reason... because he was predicting that I'd soon die. He was mentally preparing himself for the shock of finding me slumped on my bed, dead, or getting a call from the hospital informing him that his daughter had fatally overdosed or been murdered by some dealer or gang member.

It was such a wake up for me.

 

That's a sad thought.......
Glad you are bettering your situation.

 

You are well loved, Sweet P. Remembering stuff like that hits hard sometimes.

 

*hugs* I recall a moment in my drug induced past that what woke me up was my grandfather on his death bed about to die, me kissing his cheak and feeling the cold something of death aproaching. He died 2 minutes later, he was waiting for me, what took me so long? I was smoking up with a guy who eventually raped me. My grandfather turned out to be my hero, and I miss him in times when I know I am weak.
You are loved, by someone, never forget that P.

 

*hugs back*