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A sleeping giant

stonerfromohio

stonerfromohio

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
723
Location
Columbus, Ohio
A sleeping giant
Glorius immensity
Radiates underneath cobwebs of illusion
It shines while we dance lost in our confusion
Constructs and circles of thought
Wrought our brains dull
Endlessly seeking dusty pleasure
Trying to organize and measure
Masks the electricity of life
Turns the voltage down
Sleep walking through it all
We’ve not opened our eyes
Our philosophy doesn’t touch this LIFE
this beauty
This infinity of awareness
Its truth is so radical so alive
When you look into it you are dissolved
You are eaten whole
If you let it you resonate with its truth
It flows through your sunken blackened body
Igniting every pore
Every cell
It breaks open your mind
Illuminates your entanglements
Shows you how lost you’ve been
This tiny sugar cube
Melts all of society away
The social rules, the social images
Running away
Its all blasted
Utterly destroyed
Revealing
Perfect precision
Of every molecule
Every tree branch
In a kaleidoscope of infinite breadth
Color, form, sight, taste, touch
Electricity
Molding, revealing, bubbling
Melting, screaming its beauty
In every atom of existence
Vibrating in harmony
Shouting to take your face
Away from these glass screens
These societal constructs
These family rules and expectations
And to experience this life, this aliveness
That refuses to be bottled up
Refused to be imprisoned
It flows unimpeded even if you try and turn the light off
Darkness flees in the presence of the light
The lifeless are udderly apparent
With the viels removed
We see every thought
In the littlest twitch of the face
Every bit of emotion with the slightest dart of the eyes
The stupor of the masses is revealed
Our energy radiates in the cosmos
We feel the energy in the air
The coldness sinks into our bones
We revel in the moment
The ancient glory of this infinite universe
Whispers its silent power
Its wordless strength
Its unbridled wisdom
This ALIVENESS living and breathing through us all
ONE single being fooling itself to sleep
Waking itself back up
Chasing its tail in so many countless forms
One message reasserts itself in every leaf
Every birds song, every unwatched sunrise
LOVE, love when your afraid
Love, when you hurt
Love, when you’ve messed it all up
Love
 
I'm thinking that it would help if you were to take all of this, and condense it to a few stanza's.

Also, is the It entity, or the sleeping giant, love? If so, the poem seems to be talking about several different entities, and lines like "The coldness sinks into our bones", amongst others, do not fit. Maybe if you did not stress the love part at the end, it would clear things. Or possibly you could make two separate poems out of this one. Again, condensing them both. Maybe? Just a thought.

Enjoyed reading it.
 
Didnt have a specific theme, was describing personal and group experience while tripping, the immensity or it is basically the Tao or the essence of all things that was my intention
 
I like this....mind if I use it in a song :) It would be a modern prog-rock song like a Gentle Giant style....loads of reverb on the vocals.....Sleeping Giant. Make a great album name too.
 
stonerfromohio said:
Didnt have a specific theme, was describing personal and group experience while tripping, the immensity or it is basically the Tao or the essence of all things that was my intention
Click to expand...

I do understand what you mean, however, if you want or expect the reader to have or gain any insight to your experience, you have to reconstruct it so that it has some clarity. Even a Pollock painting, globs and slews of paint, are a carefully constructed math fractal. Really, all that I am saying is you posted it, so I would presume you meant to share it with us. No? Again, I certainly don't think you took offense, but rather you were explaining yourself. I am doing the same, and hope you haven't taken offense to all or any that I have said.

Again, enjoyed reading it. What exactly were you tripping on?
 
I was reminiscing on the LSD days havent tripped in a while now, didn't take offense was just explaining the piece a little more. I will take a look at it and see if I can make changes, I dont write a whole lot and never was that great at structure or grammar so I just do the best I can with what comes out. I agree if im all over the place though it may make points I want to convey difficult to understand.
 
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