That sucks about your car. I'm glad your girlfriend is supportive. Do you work at all or have any source of income? Maybe you could help your girlfriend with rent or groceries or something.
That does sound suspicious that he claims to have cPTSD from abuse that you and your mom did not do. Not that he doesn't have cPTSD if your father's death affected him that badly. But such is our current mental health system, that much of what gets us a diagnosis is self-reported. It leaves the door open for someone to be less than honest. I wonder if he got that diagnosis straight from a psychiatrist or if he actually had testing done by a clinical psychologist. The latter would be better I think because they may have ways of determining if someone is lying based on the test questions and how the test is implemented.
Have you considered attending any NAMI groups yourself or with your mother? It may be helpful.
I have seen someone legitimately claim they got cPTSD from a 'traumatic' functional capacity assessment. FCAs are used by the disability funding services in Australia to assess a person's overall functioning at a personalised level. Eg, when I got my first funding package I was given an amount generated for someone with level 2/3 ASD (before I was reassessed) which was 'standard' in my situation, so no informal support. Generally, you only receive a small therapy budget, mine was around $6000. Sounds like heaps but when providers charge $200 a session, it isn't much. What they want you to do is use the part of funding for support workers which mine was around $55,000 (again, sounds like a lot but a week of support cost $1000 or more) to tide you over while you get an FCA so they can see where you *actually* lie with your impairments. Because people can be barely level 1 and almost not needing a diagnosis, borderline level 1 level 2, borderline level 2 level 3 (like I was with social skills which was bumped up) and then on the upper end of level 3. I would consider myself on the lower end of level 3, rather than the upper if each level had its own levels I'd be level 1 in level 3 vs a client I have who would be level 3 in level 3. My FCA also took into account my other diagnoses, and painted a picture of my overall functioning. They then use that to make the funding package more accurate to a person's needs, increasing or reducing it as needed.
These assessments are not remotely traumatic. They're actually boring as hell. I fell asleep near the end of mine as I didn't take my stimulants because I wanted them to see me at my worst and that was recorded in the assessment. He also claimed the cPTSD resulted from a traumatic 'Vineland 3' assessment which also, I've seen the questions.
'can you count to 10'
'can the person answer the question of how old they are'
'can the person recognise numbers and letters'
The FCA asks questions about self care and things. Mobility as well.
'can you button your own shirt'
'can you toilet independently'
'can you maintain a nutritional diet'
'can you operate a phone'
'what would you do in case of an emergency'
They also test functional short term memory.
So yeah. Not traumatic at all. He also claimed his wife got cPTSD from his assessments and they got traumatic flashbacks.
I tried to help him with his funding becsuse he is actually underfunded but he doesn't understand how the funding works and how it only funds disabilities, not medical condition. Heaps of his issues are medical. But he has this bizarre belief that the NDIS is an evil organisation which assigns people points based on the school they attended, their family, their religion... And he said he was being persecuted for not being Christian becsuse all the contracted organisations that do the planning meeting at Christian. I pointed out they might be, but their employees certainly aren't, they're pencil pushes who come work the job for 4 months before getting burnt out and quitting because they know nothing about disability and their previous job was admin or some shit. I pointed out that the NDIS doesn't know anything about my school, family, or religious beliefs. And when he made the point that they give more funding to people who they deem worthy to society I counter pointed with the fact that I have a client who has childhood disintegrative disorder (now called autism) which is basically childhood dementia where kids develop typically until aroung 7-8 where they suddenly experience a psychotic prodrome and in the space of a month, lose all functional skills they previously learnt, with speech being last so they often ask their parents what is happening to them. My client regressed at 7, and at 25 he has $600,000 funding a year and it gets rolled over every year with no fights because the NDIS know if they cut his funding and it gets to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal it'll be given straight back. He has weekly speech therapy which is unheard of, because with CDD therapy doesn't build capacity, it prevents further deterioration. He will never improve. He will never get better, he will remain as he is, for the remainder of his life. Unable to do anything but shower and use the toilet without being prompted (except when he sometimes takes the saucepan out before I tell him to, which is a big win). Clearly, if this conspiracy about a person being funded based on their value to society, well... Things would not be great for my mate here.
But me on the other hand? I wasn't level 3 from birth, I was level 1/2 and got burnout. Therefore, I can build capacity. And I have a law degree. The NDIS want to have people build capacity, so their funding needs decrease or they exit the scheme completely. Wouldn't it be such a lovely success story if the level 3 autistic guy managed to get back to being level 1/2 and was admitted as a lawyer, all thanks to the generous help of the NDIS?
But my funding is fucked. It isn't terrible by any means by it's a decent amount below what it should be if they followed their own guidelines.
If my client and I were funded based on our value to society I would have been given more and him far less.
But that isn't what happened. He got funded based on substantial proof of lifelong deterioration impairment because his mother keeps records of everything.
I got okay funding. But not enough to build my capacity because I got shit planner after shit planner.
A friend I know with level 2 ASD got $40,000 more than me per year. She got a great planner.
Another friend with level 3 ASD got $20,000 a year for his first. Awful planner.
I asked this guy to provide evidence for his claim that they were funding people based on what he was saying, and explained that my belief was that the NDIS is a system with many flaws, and funding packages come down to essentially luck of getting a good planner and delegate who signs off on the final plan. The contracted planners don't understand the legislation they're applying and they say no to things they shouldn't say no to. I got custom orthotics funded in my first plan, but then got denied podiatry. In my plan review I asked how I was meant to get a new pair in two years if podiatry wasn't included but orthotics were. Suddenly podiatry was included. I asked for two things my planner said I would not have a chance of getting. The delegate disagreed and approved them. It's luck, that's it.
He then told me that the conversation was triggering him and he couldn't talk about it anymore.
Honestly, I feel sometimes like cPTSD is an in fashion diagnosis. You can't get cptsd from an assessment. Part of the diagnostic criteria is that the trauma must be inescapable, that is the issue. That's what makes it complex.
He could have walked out of the room.
My cPTSD has ramped up recently because of an incident that occurred a few weeks ago which I downplayed then later realised the full ramifications of, and it's a problem. Hearing someone say they got cPTSD from an assessment designed to figure out your functioning where he could have ended it at any time, and somehow his wife got it too infuriates me. I don't understand who would diagnose that.
I didn't even accept my cPTSD diagnosis for ages. I requested to check if I had a child protection file because I said if I didn't, I lied about everything and therefore BOOM no more cPTSD.
People who have it, tend to not want it. And tend not to immediately accept the diagnosis.
