cibula2004
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2013
- Messages
- 3
Here's a post I managed to save from LHG that I wrote some months ago. just as a warning to those who want to play around with this chem. After months spent in jail and as a result of getting a few agg. felony 4 and 5 charges, I have been deported 2 months back. Since back in EU I have to admit, I've been dancing around the fire again playing around with the stuff again.
Anyway, read on.
After some wrong turns in my youth, with the help of my family, I underwent a rather long term intense treatment to rid myself of a crack and heroin addiction. Everything went well for the next couple of years, however I never completed the entire program. After leaving the place, I felt like none of my old problems could possibly surface again as I already knew what warning signs to be aware of.
This actually seemed to be true for some time and I while not living drug free, I shifted gears and started being interested mostly in Phenethylamine based psychedelics and some 6-apb and frequently synthetic cannabinoids along with them. This was something that I couldn't do very frequently due to the nature of the drugs. I did sometimes take it more often than I think is good, but it usually turned out to not be very satisfying when done too closely together.
Since first being introduced to the RC world, I have tried many many different RC's and often pushed things to the limit, most of the times doing doses way above others around. I liked the intensity of that, as an example, I often took about 200-300mg dose of MXE or cca 100mg of phenazepam mixed with 15mg DOC dose. Maybe it was dangerous but I never had any medical problems or anything. One thing that has often accompanied my high dose psychedelic trips would be anxiety and paranoia. But that's where I learned to use benzodiazepines like phenazepam or etizolam -hence the 100mg phenazopam accompanying the huge DOC dose-.
One of the samples a buddy gave me to try out one day was labeled a-PVP. I wasn't really sure what to expect as there wasn't much info around on the internet at the time. The sample donator suggested vaporizing as the most efficient ROA. Without trying any other ROA we proceeded to vaporize a very small amount off of a foil. The effect obtained was quite extraordinary. Extreme pleasurable rush and for some reason it seemed to have a very calming effect and I loved it immediately, as did my buddy. Now, it resembled my past no.1 enemy aka crack. It provided similar rush and euphoria initially but surpassed it and we actually both sort of unanimously described it as MDMA in Crack format, the important word in this sentence is INITIALLY /as we used it more it stopped being as amazing as the first time, while still enjoyable, it became in that short period of time the number one activity on our list of priorities, which creeped up slowly but ended up being the dominant attribute of the drug. However, this was from my experience very preferable to crack as the high was more intense than the high I remembered while smoking crack. It also made me feel sort of invincible if that makes sense. Like I said, both me and my companion in testing loved it right away. In fact, the 0.5g sample bag we had was more or less the only thing we were interested in until the bag was completely empty. That was another RED flag which I noticed. Another one was that we both stayed up for 5 days straight without any sleep until there was almost nothing left. Close to the last bit being smoked, I realized I kept hearing people talking but no people besides me and my friend were there until my brother arrived later. I told my buddy that this is going on and told him we have to stop and get some sleep and that once we sleep at least a little bit after 5 days of 0 minutes of sleep, we could finish the tiny bit left. As I went to sleep, I hid the bag and asked him not to use it and to not give any to my brother because he'd be coming after I went to sleep. Next thing, I wake up to see my brother smoking it along with my friend, just finishing the last of the bag.
I got extremely upset and with no a-PVP to calm my rage I cursed my friend out and kicked him out and almost tried fighting him. This anger was because he didn't respect the only two things I asked of him before I went to sleep. The thing I didn't admit to them was that about half of the rage intensity was due to the fact that they used all of it. But since it was all gone now and I didn't really have immediate access to it when the after cravings were the strongest, I came to terms that while it was very enjoyable, it also was extremely addictive and put me in a spot that I didn't think I'd be finding my self in my life again. The sample donor was wondering what our thoughts on the chemical were and whether he should obtain more and maybe try to make some money on it. I advised that from my personal experience I had a feeling it would turn into a sort of crack 2.0 which I felt would make a lot of money but damage a lot of people's lives and that was not really compatible with our believes.
So that was the last time I thought I'd be dancing with the MDPV new legal replacement. That was a while ago and I never gave much thought to a-PVP since then, only a few times as an inside joke between me and my friend. That was until I started ordering things myself directly. I realized that almost every vendor who wants to have good business seem to be stocking a-PVP. In fact, it seems to be hands down the driving force behind *snip - NO VENDOR/SOURCE DISCUSSION*. So, partially forgetting my past trial with it, partially justifying it as a good investment dose/price/effect-wise I proceeded to order a rather large quantity compared to the 0.5g sample I had before which powered a 5 day binge for 2 people. According to this math, that translates to about let's just say a few weeks forth of nonstop use for 1 individual.
As I learned, the powder is actually less potent but much milder on the body and mind. I shared some with others and used maybe 3g myself I think. This turned out to last shorter than I expected compared to my previous experiment and I attributed that to the fact that your tolerance builds to it fairly fast and I'd also end up using it more and more frequently. As I started using it more, I noticed that I started being more and more paranoid to the point where I literally didn't trust almost anyone around me. Also, the voices became something of a soundtrack to my life with a-PVP.
At first I was very scared and kept thinking that I was about to be raided like almost every 10 minutes and took preventive measures not actually to run away or hide the drugs or paraphernalia, instead, I barricaded the door on my room and tried to make sure I have the most a-PVP within reach to take as much as I can when they come for me. This was completely insane and after the first 50 raids that never happened and countless hours preparing for that moment I realized that it might not actually be true. It was still hard to completely dismiss the voices I heard because they always talked about my fears and almost always the ones that I couldn't disprove. One day at work I kept thinking that all the customers shopping at the place I work at were undercover cops and in a paranoid panicking state of mind I ended up eating a very large amount of a-PVP that I was honestly not sure would not push me to the other side. Somehow it always worked out even though the amounts would be like I'd guess maybe like 40 times the amount I'd normally vape at one time. I'm guessing the actual amount here but the point is I got myself in some very dangerous situation. There's way more to elaborate on the sophisticated delusions my mind presented me with. I twice ended up getting so paranoid about the undercover police setting me up that I flushed most of my orders of a-PVP. Always realizing afterwards that it was just my paranoid mind working with no sleep for many days at a time combined with the extremely more compulsive intake that landed me in the intense amphetamine psychosis but it's just much easier to get there because of the extreme urge to try to get the rush every time.
However, the more you do, the more weak and harder to attain the rush seems to be. This isn't always the case but more often than not it is. Also, vasoconstriction is a constant when using a-PVP. I ate more spices and garlic during this time than I think I ever did in my entire life thus far all combined. It helps relieve it somewhat but I feel like not enough and the my veins narrowing down to sizes I have never even knew possible. Most of the time, the vasoconstriction is often the limiting factor when deciding whether and how often to smoke more. So anyway, so far I have managed to keep myself truly convinced that if I wanted to I could stop. It would be very difficult but I kept deep inside feeding my self that to make sure I could continue using it I guess, but today I had a very unpleasant -it's hard to actually put this feeling into words, but it left me deeply concerned and scared. I felt that I fucked myself into thinking I can easily stop but just chose not to even though being shown many times in my paranoid standoff situations that I would pick more a-PVP over my freedom or my family or almost anything else worth stopping for. Even then I kind of justified it in my head that that's bs and I was sure it was just my paranoid mind, which it turned out it was but I never can really tell 100% sure that it is as a lot of these situations are even just say more unlikely than winning a lottery by finding a winning ticket that someone lost while swimming in the ocean, I can NEVER be 100 sure and that really fucks with my head and by now, I learned to just try to ignore any out of ordinary occurrence, but I'm worried now that maybe one day it will be real and I'll just walk right into oblivion.
My experience so far shows that my worries were 100% unreal, but that still doesn't guarantee that all the future worries will be too. I feel like when I use a-PVP in a social and comfortable environment I am so much more social and talkative and just feeling great, but when I vape in my room alone I often start headcasing and worrying about my roommates coming in or my dad, who's staying here for over a week. He's actually my biggest issue. I promised him I would no longer use it but I almost immediately fell through on that and I feel really bad about it and often that's the dominant thought on my mind, which makes sense but that didn't have the effect he thought by making me promise that because now I just feel like an asshole as I really love him a lot but I still continue using it even though his presence often makes it an unpleasant experience it's still filling the slots a-PVP demands and I just learned to accept that and it's eating me up on the inside when it slips into the main lane in my mind.
I'm getting a quite worried about the potential out of control scenario that this could develop into and I even called a few outpatient rehabs today and was told to call back friday but what concerns me is that I can't let go of it. I stashed small amounts of it almost everywhere I could fit some throughout the house because last time I flushed it all in panic and was very upset I didn't hide more in the house before. The problem now is that I hid bits of it in so many places that I don't even remember all of them and I know that even if someone or me tried to find them all I think it's almost impossible to get them all as I often thought I did but I often found more somewhere, I have files with melted a-PVP almost in every place I can fit one in and I purposely don't finish most of it so I have some for later. It's getting pretty serious.
I'm smoking some right now and at least until I have none left I think I will do that. I keep saying to myself that I won't get more anymore but I also keep telling myself I'll go to sleep tonight and it's like 3 or 4 days since my last sleep so that's what I wanted to share and hopefully some good person will find this note and let others know as I do not have internet on my computer and can't share it with the world myself. It might help someone avoid similar scenarios. The sad thing is, I have read so many people sharing somewhat similar warnings but I used it as some adrenalin-like component to the entire experience which was hands down retarded. Thank you
So here you go. Sounds like this guy needs to make some drastic changes. Seems like he managed to do it before so let's hope he won't get beyond the point of return. Good luck. If he manages to get to a internet connected computer and find this post by any chance I think he would appreciate other's advice and experience with a-PVP.
BELOW ARE REPLIES FROM THE FIRST PAGE OF THE THREAD (of which there were about 6 or more at the time the forum closed for good recently):
*snip*
^QFT
*snip*
Anyway, read on.
After some wrong turns in my youth, with the help of my family, I underwent a rather long term intense treatment to rid myself of a crack and heroin addiction. Everything went well for the next couple of years, however I never completed the entire program. After leaving the place, I felt like none of my old problems could possibly surface again as I already knew what warning signs to be aware of.
This actually seemed to be true for some time and I while not living drug free, I shifted gears and started being interested mostly in Phenethylamine based psychedelics and some 6-apb and frequently synthetic cannabinoids along with them. This was something that I couldn't do very frequently due to the nature of the drugs. I did sometimes take it more often than I think is good, but it usually turned out to not be very satisfying when done too closely together.
Since first being introduced to the RC world, I have tried many many different RC's and often pushed things to the limit, most of the times doing doses way above others around. I liked the intensity of that, as an example, I often took about 200-300mg dose of MXE or cca 100mg of phenazepam mixed with 15mg DOC dose. Maybe it was dangerous but I never had any medical problems or anything. One thing that has often accompanied my high dose psychedelic trips would be anxiety and paranoia. But that's where I learned to use benzodiazepines like phenazepam or etizolam -hence the 100mg phenazopam accompanying the huge DOC dose-.
One of the samples a buddy gave me to try out one day was labeled a-PVP. I wasn't really sure what to expect as there wasn't much info around on the internet at the time. The sample donator suggested vaporizing as the most efficient ROA. Without trying any other ROA we proceeded to vaporize a very small amount off of a foil. The effect obtained was quite extraordinary. Extreme pleasurable rush and for some reason it seemed to have a very calming effect and I loved it immediately, as did my buddy. Now, it resembled my past no.1 enemy aka crack. It provided similar rush and euphoria initially but surpassed it and we actually both sort of unanimously described it as MDMA in Crack format, the important word in this sentence is INITIALLY /as we used it more it stopped being as amazing as the first time, while still enjoyable, it became in that short period of time the number one activity on our list of priorities, which creeped up slowly but ended up being the dominant attribute of the drug. However, this was from my experience very preferable to crack as the high was more intense than the high I remembered while smoking crack. It also made me feel sort of invincible if that makes sense. Like I said, both me and my companion in testing loved it right away. In fact, the 0.5g sample bag we had was more or less the only thing we were interested in until the bag was completely empty. That was another RED flag which I noticed. Another one was that we both stayed up for 5 days straight without any sleep until there was almost nothing left. Close to the last bit being smoked, I realized I kept hearing people talking but no people besides me and my friend were there until my brother arrived later. I told my buddy that this is going on and told him we have to stop and get some sleep and that once we sleep at least a little bit after 5 days of 0 minutes of sleep, we could finish the tiny bit left. As I went to sleep, I hid the bag and asked him not to use it and to not give any to my brother because he'd be coming after I went to sleep. Next thing, I wake up to see my brother smoking it along with my friend, just finishing the last of the bag.
I got extremely upset and with no a-PVP to calm my rage I cursed my friend out and kicked him out and almost tried fighting him. This anger was because he didn't respect the only two things I asked of him before I went to sleep. The thing I didn't admit to them was that about half of the rage intensity was due to the fact that they used all of it. But since it was all gone now and I didn't really have immediate access to it when the after cravings were the strongest, I came to terms that while it was very enjoyable, it also was extremely addictive and put me in a spot that I didn't think I'd be finding my self in my life again. The sample donor was wondering what our thoughts on the chemical were and whether he should obtain more and maybe try to make some money on it. I advised that from my personal experience I had a feeling it would turn into a sort of crack 2.0 which I felt would make a lot of money but damage a lot of people's lives and that was not really compatible with our believes.
So that was the last time I thought I'd be dancing with the MDPV new legal replacement. That was a while ago and I never gave much thought to a-PVP since then, only a few times as an inside joke between me and my friend. That was until I started ordering things myself directly. I realized that almost every vendor who wants to have good business seem to be stocking a-PVP. In fact, it seems to be hands down the driving force behind *snip - NO VENDOR/SOURCE DISCUSSION*. So, partially forgetting my past trial with it, partially justifying it as a good investment dose/price/effect-wise I proceeded to order a rather large quantity compared to the 0.5g sample I had before which powered a 5 day binge for 2 people. According to this math, that translates to about let's just say a few weeks forth of nonstop use for 1 individual.
As I learned, the powder is actually less potent but much milder on the body and mind. I shared some with others and used maybe 3g myself I think. This turned out to last shorter than I expected compared to my previous experiment and I attributed that to the fact that your tolerance builds to it fairly fast and I'd also end up using it more and more frequently. As I started using it more, I noticed that I started being more and more paranoid to the point where I literally didn't trust almost anyone around me. Also, the voices became something of a soundtrack to my life with a-PVP.
At first I was very scared and kept thinking that I was about to be raided like almost every 10 minutes and took preventive measures not actually to run away or hide the drugs or paraphernalia, instead, I barricaded the door on my room and tried to make sure I have the most a-PVP within reach to take as much as I can when they come for me. This was completely insane and after the first 50 raids that never happened and countless hours preparing for that moment I realized that it might not actually be true. It was still hard to completely dismiss the voices I heard because they always talked about my fears and almost always the ones that I couldn't disprove. One day at work I kept thinking that all the customers shopping at the place I work at were undercover cops and in a paranoid panicking state of mind I ended up eating a very large amount of a-PVP that I was honestly not sure would not push me to the other side. Somehow it always worked out even though the amounts would be like I'd guess maybe like 40 times the amount I'd normally vape at one time. I'm guessing the actual amount here but the point is I got myself in some very dangerous situation. There's way more to elaborate on the sophisticated delusions my mind presented me with. I twice ended up getting so paranoid about the undercover police setting me up that I flushed most of my orders of a-PVP. Always realizing afterwards that it was just my paranoid mind working with no sleep for many days at a time combined with the extremely more compulsive intake that landed me in the intense amphetamine psychosis but it's just much easier to get there because of the extreme urge to try to get the rush every time.
However, the more you do, the more weak and harder to attain the rush seems to be. This isn't always the case but more often than not it is. Also, vasoconstriction is a constant when using a-PVP. I ate more spices and garlic during this time than I think I ever did in my entire life thus far all combined. It helps relieve it somewhat but I feel like not enough and the my veins narrowing down to sizes I have never even knew possible. Most of the time, the vasoconstriction is often the limiting factor when deciding whether and how often to smoke more. So anyway, so far I have managed to keep myself truly convinced that if I wanted to I could stop. It would be very difficult but I kept deep inside feeding my self that to make sure I could continue using it I guess, but today I had a very unpleasant -it's hard to actually put this feeling into words, but it left me deeply concerned and scared. I felt that I fucked myself into thinking I can easily stop but just chose not to even though being shown many times in my paranoid standoff situations that I would pick more a-PVP over my freedom or my family or almost anything else worth stopping for. Even then I kind of justified it in my head that that's bs and I was sure it was just my paranoid mind, which it turned out it was but I never can really tell 100% sure that it is as a lot of these situations are even just say more unlikely than winning a lottery by finding a winning ticket that someone lost while swimming in the ocean, I can NEVER be 100 sure and that really fucks with my head and by now, I learned to just try to ignore any out of ordinary occurrence, but I'm worried now that maybe one day it will be real and I'll just walk right into oblivion.
My experience so far shows that my worries were 100% unreal, but that still doesn't guarantee that all the future worries will be too. I feel like when I use a-PVP in a social and comfortable environment I am so much more social and talkative and just feeling great, but when I vape in my room alone I often start headcasing and worrying about my roommates coming in or my dad, who's staying here for over a week. He's actually my biggest issue. I promised him I would no longer use it but I almost immediately fell through on that and I feel really bad about it and often that's the dominant thought on my mind, which makes sense but that didn't have the effect he thought by making me promise that because now I just feel like an asshole as I really love him a lot but I still continue using it even though his presence often makes it an unpleasant experience it's still filling the slots a-PVP demands and I just learned to accept that and it's eating me up on the inside when it slips into the main lane in my mind.
I'm getting a quite worried about the potential out of control scenario that this could develop into and I even called a few outpatient rehabs today and was told to call back friday but what concerns me is that I can't let go of it. I stashed small amounts of it almost everywhere I could fit some throughout the house because last time I flushed it all in panic and was very upset I didn't hide more in the house before. The problem now is that I hid bits of it in so many places that I don't even remember all of them and I know that even if someone or me tried to find them all I think it's almost impossible to get them all as I often thought I did but I often found more somewhere, I have files with melted a-PVP almost in every place I can fit one in and I purposely don't finish most of it so I have some for later. It's getting pretty serious.
I'm smoking some right now and at least until I have none left I think I will do that. I keep saying to myself that I won't get more anymore but I also keep telling myself I'll go to sleep tonight and it's like 3 or 4 days since my last sleep so that's what I wanted to share and hopefully some good person will find this note and let others know as I do not have internet on my computer and can't share it with the world myself. It might help someone avoid similar scenarios. The sad thing is, I have read so many people sharing somewhat similar warnings but I used it as some adrenalin-like component to the entire experience which was hands down retarded. Thank you
So here you go. Sounds like this guy needs to make some drastic changes. Seems like he managed to do it before so let's hope he won't get beyond the point of return. Good luck. If he manages to get to a internet connected computer and find this post by any chance I think he would appreciate other's advice and experience with a-PVP.
BELOW ARE REPLIES FROM THE FIRST PAGE OF THE THREAD (of which there were about 6 or more at the time the forum closed for good recently):
*snip*
^QFT
*snip*
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