A psychedelic experience as a turning point in life

[MrIbis]

Hey guys,

Probably best to post this in here.

I've been a depressed wreck and a hermit with anxiety for 5-6years. On the weekend, 8 days ago now - I took 25c-NBOMe for the second time, by putting an 800ug tab up my nose. I've IVd 400ug before, that was awesome but this was something else.

I haven't taken psychedelics other than 2C-B and 2C-E for many years. 5 at least.

I was at a doof party, taken by my friends on a whim when i had no gear and nothing planned - just a vac seal bag with 2g of german MDMA.

Got to the party felt anxious, took some valium. Proceeded to take some dutch amp sulfate and some mdma just to kick it all off. Later my mates break out the 25c. In the mood i decide fuck it, i've got good company and I'm happy.

The rest is really a blur, but I had a great time. Since i got back I've have no anxiety, turned my life around - quit heroin and got a job, opened a business - met heaps of people - haven't shut up for over a week. Been out of home busy on the go. Built a website for the business, secured an investment got a car and likely a new girlfriend. I worked at a party called stereosonic yesterday for a HR group. Took 300mg of dutch MDMA and I still feel great today. I learned how to rap - my creativity and love of life is restored. I've also planned several trips away to events and places.

Also ever since drugs work properly again, as if the axions in my brain have been cleansed of the gunk that was on them from years of heroin abuse and MDMA when i was young. 5-10mg of valium now floors me. I'm used to doses of like 40mg of clonazepam and stuff like that.
Have a lovely day. Perhaps you guys might trip as profoundly as I did in this manner - many of others I know have all done the same thing

edit: Please also discuss your own effective profoundly therapeutic trips, those of others or this phenomenon in general.

 

[Jesusgreen]

This might be more suitable for your blog, or for the 25C-NBOMe thread if you want to share the success story there. Maybe even trip reports if you're willing to go into a little more detail.

However if you wanted to actually turn this into a discussion this could stay open, so I won't close or move this right away. What was it about the trips that led to you turning your life around? I suffer from pretty bad anxiety myself, and although tripping has made me realise I need to change (something I worryingly never realised before) - I'm still battling my anxiety every day.

 

[Solipsis]

Hey, that sounds like a pretty magical story indeed. It's quite hard to believe the part about the benzo's, how is that possible without having to deal with the downregulation of BDZ/GABA receptors and things like that? I have heard about a guy who uses benzo's in very high doses like those 40 mg clonazepam of yours, but with spaced periods in between. I thought tolerance implies withdrawal or the need for maintenance dosing.

I'm very happy for you that you were able to make such positive changes. But let's not forget that these are extremely potent and potentially dangerous compounds in the wrong hands so think about that before you do anything rash.
Generally compounds with the potential to heal also have the capacity to traumatize and devastate, Psox reminded me of that recently.

Agreed on this not being a thread on it's own. Please choose where to put this.

 

[MrIbis]

I'm happy for it to be a general discussion about psychedelics being used as tools, just with my post as a guide for the discussions.

I'm not sure, i did some reading that 25c has some kind of SRI effect. That coupled with the random adventure into the australian bush with 3 days of thumping music, no phones, good people, good drugs and no escape changed a lot for me too.

It's just like it cleared a blockage that my personality, and life had fucked up - I was able to accept everything i've ever done wrong and use it to my advantage and see the future clear as crystal.

It kinda feels like that movie 'Limitless' but without the crash.

With benzos and stuff I don't understand I, I understand biochemistry and all that, but yeah valium hasn't done jack to me for years - i'm scripted 2mg alpraz a day but I dont take it every day. I've had benzo withdrawal before and it seemed tolerance would never drop. I wouldn't say all this if it were a lie. I usually just binge hard on the benzos when i get the script its gone in 2-3 days, a week later I get my repeat, and the next another week later. I haven't felt the need for any drugs, and even MDMA works again like when I was 15 using it in high doses.

I'm also now able to meditate myself, previously (my whole life) I was only able to sleep by watching a movie, I can now sleep in silence at peace with my self. I stopped biting my nails as well, and I literally have no fingernails. It's all so surreal and amazing. How much life can change in an instant.

If any of you know, I was best friends IRL with splatt, he killed himself on April fools day this year and I've had a tough year getting over that.

 

[Solipsis]

Then I will have to rename the thread to 'psychedelic experience as a turning point in life' and it will be interesting to hear about stories with other compounds that facilitated this. Something like cannabis or MDMA can be acceptable to post on in this regard, they have psychedelic and therapeutic potential.

Very sad about splatt (to hear about or rather to be remembered of it), may he rest in peace.

 

[crOOk]

Thank you DMT!

I haven't had any dmt for (~4) years and for years I haven't seen clearly. For years I've been accompanied, whether manic or depressed, by darkness, for years the world seemed like an unholy place reigned by nothign but greed, jealousy and hedonism. I've looked into every church I could find for answers, for hope and for strength to carry on and while none of them seemed entirely wrong, never did one make me feel at home.

But after I've had a couple o grams dmt laying around for two weeks (call it foreplay), I finally returned home and woke up from the bad dream last night, last night I finally saw clear again, saw all the beauty united once more.

For the first time in years I've slept through, for the first time in years I woke up with a smile on my face, with my heart jumping in astonishment at the beauty that would accompany this day, that shines on throughout every day, shines through to the deepest darkest corner of human misery.

I have hopefully found my way back into life, I'll hopefully manage to banish amphetamine, opiates and booze from this beaten and bruised body of mine, hopefully manage to maintain this appreciation for life throughout the tough times as well. On this morning after, my eyes are still filled with tears, tears that blur my sight and run down my face to wet my skin, tears that belong to that heart of mine screaming "Oh beauty, oh joy, how could i have ever lost sight of you?".

I have to change my ways.

 

[Jesusgreen]

I'll share my own experience.

Prior to psychedelics, I had bouts of on and off depression, along with social anxiety. I have not conquered my social anxiety, and it still makes my life hard, but psychedelics taught me a valuable lesson - one that has given me an unending respect for them and will make me always value them as a therapeutic tool, rather than a recreational drug.

During my first, and subsequent ego death experiences, I was shown that life is beautiful, everything is beautiful in it's own way. Even evil and dark things have their own beauty - and their own reasoning, so it showed me to accept that, to avoid judging, and to see that everything has it's place, even when I might see it as wrong or unnecessary. They also made me realise just how amazing the little things in life are - waking up in the morning and seeing the sun, smelling the scent of pine in the forest, going to sleep with a smile on your face. All these little things are so very important, and when you take the time to notice them and enjoy them, life becomes a much fuller experience. You stop wasting all this time just going about your routine, and realise that 30 minute walk to work that's usually a blur is actually 30 minutes to relish, enjoying your surroundings, noticing the people that pass you buy, smelling the scent of the bakery, admiring the artwork on the wall, smiling at those who pass you.

In short I realised that no matter where you are, who you are, or what you're doing - there's always something new and wonderful to find

 

[crOOk]

I'll share my own experience.

Prior to psychedelics, I had bouts of on and off depression, along with social anxiety. I have not conquered my social anxiety, and it still makes my life hard, but psychedelics taught me a valuable lesson - one that has given me an unending respect for them and will make me always value them as a therapeutic tool, rather than a recreational drug.

During my first, and subsequent ego death experiences, I was shown that life is beautiful, everything is beautiful in it's own way. Even evil and dark things have their own beauty - and their own reasoning, so it showed me to accept that, to avoid judging, and to see that everything has it's place, even when I might see it as wrong or unnecessary. They also made me realise just how amazing the little things in life are - waking up in the morning and seeing the sun, smelling the scent of pine in the forest, going to sleep with a smile on your face. All these little things are so very important, and when you take the time to notice them and enjoy them, life becomes a much fuller experience. You stop wasting all this time just going about your routine, and realise that 30 minute walk to work that's usually a blur is actually 30 minutes to relish, enjoying your surroundings, noticing the people that pass you buy, smelling the scent of the bakery, admiring the artwork on the wall, smiling at those who pass you.

In short I realised that no matter where you are, who you are, or what you're doing - there's always something new and wonderful to find

I'll go for a looong walk now

 

[MrIbis]

I'll share my own experience.

Prior to psychedelics, I had bouts of on and off depression, along with social anxiety. I have not conquered my social anxiety, and it still makes my life hard, but psychedelics taught me a valuable lesson - one that has given me an unending respect for them and will make me always value them as a therapeutic tool, rather than a recreational drug.

During my first, and subsequent ego death experiences, I was shown that life is beautiful, everything is beautiful in it's own way. Even evil and dark things have their own beauty - and their own reasoning, so it showed me to accept that, to avoid judging, and to see that everything has it's place, even when I might see it as wrong or unnecessary. They also made me realise just how amazing the little things in life are - waking up in the morning and seeing the sun, smelling the scent of pine in the forest, going to sleep with a smile on your face. All these little things are so very important, and when you take the time to notice them and enjoy them, life becomes a much fuller experience. You stop wasting all this time just going about your routine, and realise that 30 minute walk to work that's usually a blur is actually 30 minutes to relish, enjoying your surroundings, noticing the people that pass you buy, smelling the scent of the bakery, admiring the artwork on the wall, smiling at those who pass you.

In short I realised that no matter where you are, who you are, or what you're doing - there's always something new and wonderful to find

Smiling at randoms just makes your day awesome. I've learned that. And being happy is free.