A poem and a flow

[xui]

A needle which pulls not a string
clearly connects not a thing.
It creates holes which meet,
like old friends they greet
your arms 'til they look like the sky.

And push you do soft, with your thumb.
The gradient of blood does become
your dinner for one, red like summer sun,
enlightened: the sum of your journey.

Wretched muscles who play twitch and bite,
deem me sole guard of the night.
The toilet: the treasure, the vomit I measure
comes birthed from my stomach; delight.

Neither prose nor emotion explain
the joy of my substance obtained,
hedonistic pleasure and nihilistic treasure;
the me and the now are what's great.

and,

fuck society and material wants
all i wanna are some swisher blunts
them garcia vegas are pretty nice
but so many times I forget the knife
pack 'em fulla that crumbled green
lick that shit, seal it up wit lean
grab them matches up outta my pocket
strike one homie 'cause its time to spark it


ya know,
so many times I wonder why, uh
every single day I just gotta get high
dem OCs and Morphines are killin me
such a greedy bastard, givin none for free
always, fuckin always saying i gotta stop, ha
then im back callin boy doin one last cop
i promise, pinky promise one day i'll quit
you can quote that for truth, but, my word ain't shit

but my ritual is ritual and im keepin it
find my shit fo sho and then im needin it
ready to consume and im sweatin, shit
grab those 80's fast and i'm washin em quick
scrub 'til they white, like scrub-a-dub-dub
take em for a swim in the metal hot tub
swab up, cotton down and soak that shit up
flick those bubbles hard til they jiggle n ditch up
poke up in that vein like im diggin a snitch out
anyone here know what im talkin bout?
it's ready to fire and i'm pullin that red back
pushin that white in
and sittin my head back
and by the time, i promise,
you can count to three
my eyes roll back and my mind's set free

^I don't like this so much, just a few parts..

Originally posted in another thread in another board (my bad) so I'm postin here.

I was just wanting some feedback if possible.

 

[GlassAss420]

Ill shit, I love spoken word poetry/poetry in general and I kinda aspire to write some about the heroin w/d's I'm going through, my struggle to quit. So its kinda in the same vein (lol) as what your writing about. I might post some of my own in the coming weeks..

 

[New]

I quite enjoyed the intimacy attached to the poem...and I've definitely been involved in that flow before. Quite fascinating pieces.