A Past Life Regretion Session

i am going to play this out writing and see how it goes, maybe you have a similar experience with a memory, and maybe this sort of thing could be of help.


my story bellow is one that has played through my mind many times, but i never thought about it that far.

perhaps writing similar nagging or epiphany type memories and urges out could help build a bigger picture. but while writing this here, not allowing myself to just let-it-flow out, i have forgotten another important seeming occurrence i had in mind.


~
i remember being hysterical after a nap or 9 or 10, maybe 9 but i was no less then 8 or 9, i remember in detail being kidnapped by someone in a yellow car with my sister. then waking up, and not feeling the fear of a kidnapping, but her dying in a yellow vehicle - i was crying out of control, left my bedroom and went into the living room where my mom was, asking her why, pleading for her to tell me why! why she never told me about my sister - i was so upset, and felt so betrayed, i felt covered in a led-blanket, so fuuurrriiiooous, but pouring tears and simply so obliterated by emotion i couldnt even lift my arms.


i need to bring this up to my mom again, she was trying hard to console me and was rather astounded and confused...so it seems she would recall this.

at 5-6 i was out of control in fear worried about using drugs, i have asked my parents if the remember this but they dont. i felt so assured, that if i ever did drugs or drink alcohol i was going to suffer something awful. that was a long night it seemed, a few hours of the most terrible seeming anticipation, and utter regret.
which i did feel many many times later for using, and certainly still do, but nothing like that - that was pure dread, so real as if i had agreed to do so already, and new of the consequences in a very extreme manner.

 

i am recommending looking into Ketu-Rahu, Dark Moon Lilith, and White Moon Selene to maybe learn about your Dahrma and Karmic cycle.

i found Liliths placement in the 12th house as i have, along with Ketu, to be brutal, but recently profoundly un-veiled to me the last few days...im on the right path*sigh" in the worst seeming way...
"So if you are unlucky at ages 9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63 etc, you can be happy about it because it is proof that you are working out your karma"

i dont have the time, or energy or want at all at this time,, to go into 9,18,27. this thread as noted above, is in relation to occurrences at and around the age of 9, 18 forget about it well actually at 18 i was in jail and in-patient-rehab where while sober i was put on anti-psychotic drugs the first time after my recollections of 6-9 y/o - i was on anti psychotic drugs until 22 or something, then at 27 i tried them to my great determent in the from of what appeared to be NMS for 3 days in a row twice and then a paradoxical dysphoric reaction a third time, then klonopin and lithium then the Autto-immune D/O - im still working on the noightmare that has ensued from that year.
lol
that sense, that most terrifying body-locking fear of something coming to smash me and my house - it seemed this way i would say - and i also would say how the same feeling was there, that i interpreted the same as being told,

"'i am flying towards you with momentum you can feel, to destroy everything you love - atm i am - but i have no idea if i will ever decide to arrive, so, stay alive up and waiting -- until then - just scrrreeeeam"

~
i feel rest assured -lol- that will live to be at least one-hundred-three...so you dont worry.
heh
uhg


~
all only part of the fire-trinity ...9's.

________________
ones whiteMoOn h56 is fairly important along the Dahrma cycle...lol...having it in Scorpio with Uranus on top is interesting.

so is Regulus and the sun 3'

Trans-Pluto aka ISIS h48 w/ Regulus with-in 4' of a Planet is especially charming.

along with my 22, if i dont get busy doing something to better the world im going to ___ for many thousands of years.!.and im taking a planet and your little dog tooooooooo
-------

Jupiter is exalted with BML so this should be my cue to just go with what inspirations i get, especially those that pertain to WhiteML-Scoropio-Uranus. and Ketu in Pisces.
*******
learning Pars Fortunae, i can see where my karma&Dahrma leads, ultimately, and thats the 10th house and any planetary aspects attributed there of.

the 10-11-12 are connected, the 12 house Pisces is where we lay, and dependent on the 10th...the 11th is the Yoga or balance of these two. what comes of the 12th is then, judged by the first...it seems. the 12th is the Gate at the end where you meet the Gate-Keeper, who is the ruler of your 1st, if this and any aspects are not meet well, what you have brought there in the 12th house, along with the existing aspects will be the bed you have made - and again at the last as the first.

so what i need to learn, seems maybe to be Pars Fortunae Pluto Medicine related stuff.after sorting through a bit more.


Regulus and TransPluto, the Lion, the Sun the Golden Age, around 2012 this PransPluto/ISIS and Regulus will for move finally after 3000 years from Virgo into Leo...

 

this is powerful.....

i am only allowing partial realizations until i have eventually accumulated the entier picture, almost effortlessly in a sense that i am not attempting much to recall, only at random times through out the day, or allowing myself for a minute or so, to sit with and acknowledge items i have of my relatives, or to

allow to be recalled in a 'fond-personal-pace' - environmental or routine/familiar odors - environmental nostalgic sounds or sound textures at least - colors, like bed-sheets at grandmas house, and the texture of them, color is light so if there was a particular place such as a dining-area or guest-bedroom, recreating the lumens and light temperature can be easily done, especially if done so intuitively.

an example of what i have been practicing is for instance, if i see a cadillac like one my moms dad had, i let subtle memories play-out, and then appreciate and "meditate" on the subject: what did this memory mean to me at the time; how often and when does this memory become available; what did it mean to other members of my family?

maybe you get the idea from what i listed, and can interplay a "formula" to be expanded on that is practical and beneficial for you, and any, participants i would gladly help you to very limited extents, suggesting interpretations as one would tarot or dreams.

recall as much memory of the senses, not intellectual occurrences so much, these notions of intellect are essentially useless to the Prana, our souls/spirits. these "materialistic" thoughts are of little significance in practicing PLR techniques, these thoughts always change, and like a box can not be taken by one life-force.


~~~~~
in my family, on my dads side there were 2 suicides and one accidental death involving Alzheimers and alcohol i believe. these deaths took place in no more then 5-6 generations to me. my moms father also committed suicide, after a second round of cancer, lung cancer, after beating cancer once already decades prior.

what is rather clear now...is that i am currently and have recently but finally took on and "burnt-off" this bad-karma for these relatives. this is some of the most intense, un-avoidable shit.

up until 11-11-11, i have never been able to subscribe to karma theory, the rational through some sort of tangible experience was what had not been there for me to learn as i do in by majority.

 

oh yeah, heheh, the "regreTion" thing :-/ it wasnt intentional...but, ill keep it that way here, for now.

 

How you doing these days ?

 

once one knows they begin to remind each other

they can get very jealous of the material life

they try and experience what they always craved and desired

_________
if its bad on the nines, its good

 

Pages 1-6 are missing.

"… Will m[a]tter then be utterly [destr]oyed or not?"
The Savior replied, "Every nature, every modeled form, every creature, exists in and with each other. They will dissolve again into their own proper root. For the nature of matter is dissolved into what belongs to its nature. Anyone with two ears able to hear should listen!"
Then Peter said to him, "You have been explaining every topic to us; tell us one other thing. What is the sin of the world?"
The Savior replied, "There is no such thing as sin; rather you yourselves are what produces sin when you act in accordance with the nature of adultery, which is called 'sin.' For this reason, the Good came among you, pursuing (the good) which belongs to every nature. It will set it within its root."
Then he continued. He said, "This is why you get si[c]k and die: because [you love] what de[c]ei[ve]s [you]. [Anyone who] thinks should consider (these matters)!
"[Ma]tter gav[e bi]rth to a passion which has no Image because it derives from what is contrary to nature. A disturbing confusion then occurred in the whole body. That is why I told you, 'Become content at heart, while also remaining discontent and disobedient; indeed become contented and agreeable (only) in the presence of that other Image of nature.' Anyone with two ears capable of hearing should listen!"
When the Blessed One had said these things, he greeted them all. "Peace be with you!" he said. "Acquire my peace within yourselves!
"Be on your guard so that no one deceives you by saying, 'Look over here!' or 'Look over there!' For the child of true Humanity exists within you. Follow it! Those who search for it will find it.
"Go then, preac[h] the good news about the Realm. [Do] not lay down any rule beyond what I determined for you, nor promulgate law like the lawgiver, or else you might be dominated by it."
After he had said these things, he departed from them.
But they were distressed and wept greatly. "How are we going to go out to the rest of the world to announce the good news about the Realm of the child of true Humanity?" they said. "If they did not spare him, how will they spare us?"
Then Mary stood up. She greeted them all, addressing her brothers and sisters, "Do not weep and be distressed nor let your hearts be irresolute. For his grace will be with you all and will shelter you. Rather we should praise his greatness, for he has prepared us and made us true Human beings."
When Mary had said these things, she turned their heart [to]ward the Good, and they began to deba[t]e about the wor[d]s of [the Savior].
Peter said to Mary, "Sister, we know that the Savior loved you more than all other women. Tell us the words of the Savior that you remember, the things which you know that we don't because we haven't heard them."
Mary responded, "I will teach you about what is hidden from you." And she began to speak these words to them.
She said, "I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to him, 'Lord, I saw you today in a vision.'
He answered me, 'How wonderful you are for not wavering at seeing me! For where the mind is, there is the treasure.'
I said to him, 'So now, Lord, does a person who sees a vision see it <with> the soul <or> with the spirit?'
The Savior answered, 'A person does not see with the soul or with the spirit. 'Rather the mind, which exists between these two, sees the vision an[d] that is w[hat &#8230; ]'

(Pages 11-14 are missing.)

" '&#8230; it.'
"And Desire said, 'I did not see you go down, yet now I see you go up. So why do you lie since you belong to me?'
"The soul answered, 'I saw you. You did not see me nor did you know me. You (mis)took the garment (I wore) for my (true) self. And you did not recognize me.'
"After it had said these things, it left rejoicing greatly.
"Again, it came to the third Power, which is called 'Ignorance.' [It] examined the soul closely, saying, 'Where are you going? You are bound by wickedness. Indeed you are bound! Do not judge!'
"And the soul said, 'Why do you judge me, since I have not passed judgement? I have been bound, but I have not bound (anything). They did not recognize me, but I have recognized that the universe is to be dissolved, both the things of earth and those of heaven.'
"When the soul had brought the third Power to naught, it went upward and saw the fourth Power. It had seven forms. The first form is darkness; the second is desire; the third is ignorance; the fourth is zeal for death; the fifth is the realm of the flesh; the sixth is the foolish wisdom of the flesh; the seventh is the wisdom of the wrathful person. These are the seven Powers of Wrath.
"They interrogated the soul, 'Where are you coming from, human-killer, and where are you going, space-conqueror?'
"The soul replied, saying, 'What binds me has been slain, and what surrounds me has been destroyed, and my desire has been brought to an end, and ignorance has died. In a [wor]ld, I was set loose from a world [an]d in a type, from a type which is above, and (from) the chain of forgetfulness which exists in time. From this hour on, for the time of the due season of the aeon, I will receive rest i[n] silence.' "
After Mary had said these things, she was silent, since it was up to this point that the Savior had spoken to her.
Andrew responded, addressing the brothers and sisters, "Say what you will about the things she has said, but I do not believe that the S[a]vior said these things, f[or] indeed these teachings are strange ideas."
Peter responded, bringing up similar concerns. He questioned them about the Savior: "Did he, then, speak with a woman in private without our knowing about it? Are we to turn around and listen to her? Did he choose her over us?"
Then [M]ary wept and said to Peter, "My brother Peter, what are you imagining? Do you think that I have thought up these things by myself in my heart or that I am telling lies about the Savior?"
Levi answered, speaking to Peter, "Peter, you have always been a wrathful person. Now I see you contending against the woman like the Adversaries. For if the Savior made her worthy, who are you then for your part to reject her? Assuredly the Savior's knowledge of her is completely reliable. That is why he loved her more than us.
"Rather we should be ashamed. We should clothe ourselves with the perfect Human, acquire it for ourselves as he commanded us, and announce the good news, not laying down any other rule or law that differs from what the Savior said."
After [he had said these] things, they started going out [to] teach and to preach.

[The Gos]pel according to Mary