pixiegirl899
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2011
- Messages
- 1
this was my first time rolling, took a purple butterfly, 1/2 a blue dolphin crushed in a capsule, and snorted a white smurf. you can see how i went from a fun good time of rolling, to a never ending cracked out nightmare (well not exactly, but my state of mind is described). so if you like to read...
Here is a memory in pdf format, is that right?, of new years 2010/11. Wish I could capture this feeling and memory in a box and open it when I want to feel it again. So I hope I’m as descriptive on paper as I feel like I am at the moment. My thoughts are clear and I feel like I know everything. So that is why I have to write down whatever comes to mind. Anastasia is closely by me and we are in our destroyed fort in suite 209. Don[t even know what hotel we are in in lake forest. But feels way too way too inland to feel close to home for Ana. We are talking about how best of friends we’ve become in this past three months. We both have a lot of free time to hang out and like sharing our similarities and differences, and we love what a positive friendship this turning out to beeeeeeeeeeeeee 3whooooooooo weeeeeeeee we feel like spondgebob and Patrick skipping througdh the bottom of the sea (bikini bottom) holding hands and going jelly fishing. Trever and Evan feel like squirdard being a buzz kill Debbie downer duo.
SO I keep thinking of great things but all we can see to get down on this screen is that my mouth is bloody and kinda rough from chewing on my binky which is demolished so now I have ana’s binky. So cant chew this one up bc then I will havre to take trevers ors evans and they will be unhappy and I don[‘t want them to be unhappy I want them to feel like I feel because I FEEL FUCKIN AMAZING. Trever says I sound like a tweaker because I’m talking a mile a minute. All my thoughts are so clear and brilliantly thought of but I’m not sure if I’m saying them in a coherent way. Because I’m talking so fast and so much to say that I can’t speak it or write it down. But I wish you knew everything I’m thinking! I just closed my eyes after the light was shown in them and saw everything in thermal imaging or like infrared sight or something so I feel like a mosquito. Pink green and blue neon colors in a black background when my eyes or cold. I’m not even hot I’m actually still cold in my feet with my amazing soft socks that my cousin Kathy gave me. The first time getting socks for Christmas and actually thinking “wow this is actually a good gift, very practical and simple and something I would wear cus my feet are always cold.
Listening to some beatles, no trance or any thing, we just want some mellow tunes some pink floyd and stuff. Octopus’s Garden was playing I felt like an octopus in a psychedelic garden in a light up sea. But the other 3 were not joining in on the singing which sucked because it would have be fun to sing along with them. I ‘m playing it again hoping that they would notice but too many distractions I guess. I wish our fort wasn’t destroyed be cause it was fuckin awesome and cozy I felt like a fetus in some amniotic embryo. Likie if the charactters in science of sleep took ecstasy and show that hand made claymotion version of life, they fort would be that “artificial replica hand made” version of the inside of an egg that is like lit up for like we are in a mother’s womb. So safe, comfortable, feels soft and warm esp since ana is cuddling with me. Me an ana want to write a song now. We really feel like true musical lyricists since we are influenced by this indescribable drug. Now we know that great works of literature were created by people on beautiful drugs. Ana just caught me writing “fuckin” and how negative it sounded. So I replaced it with “beautiful”. Why use such a negative word as the f bomb when it has nothing to do with the beauty of, what we like to credit to our euphoria and nirvana, drugs. Ecstasy EEEEEEE EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX IT’S THE BEST IT WILL LITERALLY, AND I MEAN REALLY LETIGIMATELY CURE ALL THE WORLDS PROBLEMs. All our problems are in our minds and emotions. This heals it. It’s not just a feel good drug; I feel like an emotionally healed person now. I looked at my life and came to so many realizations about love and the universe. And know who I want to be now and want I want in life. Good way to start the new year, I recommended to anyone who is super stressed or lonely or confused. Escstacy feels natural because it’s just releasing a hormone that’s already in us, seratonin. It’s the chemical that’s released when you feel love from another human or creature.. so I’m planning on finding Paur McCartney tickets to a concert for this year. I don’t care what country he’s touring in, I will fly there and make it the most epic experience ever. I hope Ana will want to do the same with me. I need to find someone would would be down to buy a concert and trip ticket. And also to stay in the county for a week or two. Some people wouldn’t even care for this kind of plan. Got to find a few people who are. Need to make a pinky promise with them so that they don’t bail on me. And I will do ecstasy NO DOUBT. Screw cough syrup, even at a Roger Waters concert that shit was not that fun. E is the best I really mean it. I feel so care free and happy like a little kid not self councious totally free and happy to express everyting. I’m talking way more than everyone, I think I’m having the besst time out of all of uss hehe. Possibly because this is my first time rollin. So I’m listening to Paul’s Ram On album and It made me realize that I want to settle down, in my future and if I have something close like a family or something, in the country side. I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the united states or in some European country. So that means for the next 7 or so years (I’m 20 now) until my late 20’s when I’m ready to settle, I need to be free and make more art and get skilled at bass and live in a city, go on an adventure, make mistakes are learn from them. Need to be serious too, get connected with an artist community so I can be able to get my paintings out. I don’t even know how I’m gonna make my money but I could care less. I want to be a free spirited bohemian on a life adventure.
Ok now to remember the things I was initially thiniking and talking about. Oh ya. So I want to plan the best thing every that will change my family’s life. Im going to secretly trap us, very slyly, in a room. Maybe a hotel like this. And lock the doors. But before they realize the setup, they will already be rolling because I will secretly slip in E somehow to something they are consuming with out them knowing.
This ana’s entry …..ssooo im feeling good, mellow feeling. Wanna block all the negative feelings out because it makes me feel depressed. Im feeling good, relaxed its like im meditating. I feel at peace with life but I still have bad feelings coming back but shouldn’t even think about.
Its chloe! Back from 5 hours or something like that. Took another half, snorted a couple. I feel like a blow addict. But I feel like I’m on speed right now, have so much to say. That sentence took about 15 min to complete. That’s how distracted I am. I never write this much I just have the need to document everythihg I’m feeling. That’s how creative I feel. I never feel this creative. I now know that every fucking amazing writer or artist HAD to be on what ever I am on right now to produce this level of creativity that my mind is conceiving. Lets look at the steryotype of a good writer; focused yet ADD-inclined, introverted, face intensely focused on their hand-to-paper outlet, object used for an oral fixation tick played with in the mouth (my case, a binky, but hold it as a prop which would try to replace a tobacco pipe or cigarette that a heavy, harsh, and straight up rough n tough middle aged male writer would hold.) the reason I can so accurately describe this stereotype is due the fact that I am in same state.
In the future , technology will be so advanced that art and science will meet in collaboration, as a human and robot would connect, but so naturally as though our genetics would bond with the molecular structure of a an advanced robot. After we go through this evolution and transformation to the next level, there will be a genius piece of device that is multifunctional; it serves as a medium, as in an “old age” medium would be a film camera or even digital or graphic computer science, and serve as a progressed scientific invention, dually. This would capture not only a visual image in the human mind, but the feelings, ideas, sensation that the entire cosmos which creates this sense, and project it into a form of canvas. In this case, the canvas would be another idividual’s mind. So taking a cosmic feeling, one that is so connected and unified that as a whole, can be projected into another Human’s (or in this case, an evolved specie’s) mind.
Just read I don’t want to start to talk or I wont stop and nobody including myself likes that. Ok so do you think if I ate a lot of pretzels and drank a lot of water I will sober up? I really want to come down pleasseee if you know a way I can tell me
Here is a memory in pdf format, is that right?, of new years 2010/11. Wish I could capture this feeling and memory in a box and open it when I want to feel it again. So I hope I’m as descriptive on paper as I feel like I am at the moment. My thoughts are clear and I feel like I know everything. So that is why I have to write down whatever comes to mind. Anastasia is closely by me and we are in our destroyed fort in suite 209. Don[t even know what hotel we are in in lake forest. But feels way too way too inland to feel close to home for Ana. We are talking about how best of friends we’ve become in this past three months. We both have a lot of free time to hang out and like sharing our similarities and differences, and we love what a positive friendship this turning out to beeeeeeeeeeeeee 3whooooooooo weeeeeeeee we feel like spondgebob and Patrick skipping througdh the bottom of the sea (bikini bottom) holding hands and going jelly fishing. Trever and Evan feel like squirdard being a buzz kill Debbie downer duo.
SO I keep thinking of great things but all we can see to get down on this screen is that my mouth is bloody and kinda rough from chewing on my binky which is demolished so now I have ana’s binky. So cant chew this one up bc then I will havre to take trevers ors evans and they will be unhappy and I don[‘t want them to be unhappy I want them to feel like I feel because I FEEL FUCKIN AMAZING. Trever says I sound like a tweaker because I’m talking a mile a minute. All my thoughts are so clear and brilliantly thought of but I’m not sure if I’m saying them in a coherent way. Because I’m talking so fast and so much to say that I can’t speak it or write it down. But I wish you knew everything I’m thinking! I just closed my eyes after the light was shown in them and saw everything in thermal imaging or like infrared sight or something so I feel like a mosquito. Pink green and blue neon colors in a black background when my eyes or cold. I’m not even hot I’m actually still cold in my feet with my amazing soft socks that my cousin Kathy gave me. The first time getting socks for Christmas and actually thinking “wow this is actually a good gift, very practical and simple and something I would wear cus my feet are always cold.
Listening to some beatles, no trance or any thing, we just want some mellow tunes some pink floyd and stuff. Octopus’s Garden was playing I felt like an octopus in a psychedelic garden in a light up sea. But the other 3 were not joining in on the singing which sucked because it would have be fun to sing along with them. I ‘m playing it again hoping that they would notice but too many distractions I guess. I wish our fort wasn’t destroyed be cause it was fuckin awesome and cozy I felt like a fetus in some amniotic embryo. Likie if the charactters in science of sleep took ecstasy and show that hand made claymotion version of life, they fort would be that “artificial replica hand made” version of the inside of an egg that is like lit up for like we are in a mother’s womb. So safe, comfortable, feels soft and warm esp since ana is cuddling with me. Me an ana want to write a song now. We really feel like true musical lyricists since we are influenced by this indescribable drug. Now we know that great works of literature were created by people on beautiful drugs. Ana just caught me writing “fuckin” and how negative it sounded. So I replaced it with “beautiful”. Why use such a negative word as the f bomb when it has nothing to do with the beauty of, what we like to credit to our euphoria and nirvana, drugs. Ecstasy EEEEEEE EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX IT’S THE BEST IT WILL LITERALLY, AND I MEAN REALLY LETIGIMATELY CURE ALL THE WORLDS PROBLEMs. All our problems are in our minds and emotions. This heals it. It’s not just a feel good drug; I feel like an emotionally healed person now. I looked at my life and came to so many realizations about love and the universe. And know who I want to be now and want I want in life. Good way to start the new year, I recommended to anyone who is super stressed or lonely or confused. Escstacy feels natural because it’s just releasing a hormone that’s already in us, seratonin. It’s the chemical that’s released when you feel love from another human or creature.. so I’m planning on finding Paur McCartney tickets to a concert for this year. I don’t care what country he’s touring in, I will fly there and make it the most epic experience ever. I hope Ana will want to do the same with me. I need to find someone would would be down to buy a concert and trip ticket. And also to stay in the county for a week or two. Some people wouldn’t even care for this kind of plan. Got to find a few people who are. Need to make a pinky promise with them so that they don’t bail on me. And I will do ecstasy NO DOUBT. Screw cough syrup, even at a Roger Waters concert that shit was not that fun. E is the best I really mean it. I feel so care free and happy like a little kid not self councious totally free and happy to express everyting. I’m talking way more than everyone, I think I’m having the besst time out of all of uss hehe. Possibly because this is my first time rollin. So I’m listening to Paul’s Ram On album and It made me realize that I want to settle down, in my future and if I have something close like a family or something, in the country side. I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the united states or in some European country. So that means for the next 7 or so years (I’m 20 now) until my late 20’s when I’m ready to settle, I need to be free and make more art and get skilled at bass and live in a city, go on an adventure, make mistakes are learn from them. Need to be serious too, get connected with an artist community so I can be able to get my paintings out. I don’t even know how I’m gonna make my money but I could care less. I want to be a free spirited bohemian on a life adventure.
Ok now to remember the things I was initially thiniking and talking about. Oh ya. So I want to plan the best thing every that will change my family’s life. Im going to secretly trap us, very slyly, in a room. Maybe a hotel like this. And lock the doors. But before they realize the setup, they will already be rolling because I will secretly slip in E somehow to something they are consuming with out them knowing.
This ana’s entry …..ssooo im feeling good, mellow feeling. Wanna block all the negative feelings out because it makes me feel depressed. Im feeling good, relaxed its like im meditating. I feel at peace with life but I still have bad feelings coming back but shouldn’t even think about.
Its chloe! Back from 5 hours or something like that. Took another half, snorted a couple. I feel like a blow addict. But I feel like I’m on speed right now, have so much to say. That sentence took about 15 min to complete. That’s how distracted I am. I never write this much I just have the need to document everythihg I’m feeling. That’s how creative I feel. I never feel this creative. I now know that every fucking amazing writer or artist HAD to be on what ever I am on right now to produce this level of creativity that my mind is conceiving. Lets look at the steryotype of a good writer; focused yet ADD-inclined, introverted, face intensely focused on their hand-to-paper outlet, object used for an oral fixation tick played with in the mouth (my case, a binky, but hold it as a prop which would try to replace a tobacco pipe or cigarette that a heavy, harsh, and straight up rough n tough middle aged male writer would hold.) the reason I can so accurately describe this stereotype is due the fact that I am in same state.
In the future , technology will be so advanced that art and science will meet in collaboration, as a human and robot would connect, but so naturally as though our genetics would bond with the molecular structure of a an advanced robot. After we go through this evolution and transformation to the next level, there will be a genius piece of device that is multifunctional; it serves as a medium, as in an “old age” medium would be a film camera or even digital or graphic computer science, and serve as a progressed scientific invention, dually. This would capture not only a visual image in the human mind, but the feelings, ideas, sensation that the entire cosmos which creates this sense, and project it into a form of canvas. In this case, the canvas would be another idividual’s mind. So taking a cosmic feeling, one that is so connected and unified that as a whole, can be projected into another Human’s (or in this case, an evolved specie’s) mind.
Just read I don’t want to start to talk or I wont stop and nobody including myself likes that. Ok so do you think if I ate a lot of pretzels and drank a lot of water I will sober up? I really want to come down pleasseee if you know a way I can tell me
