Just got home from a meeting. The folks there are good people and many remember me. They have reached out to me and it feels good.
After the meeting a bunch of dudes were hanging out across the street shootin' the shit. I could have went over and hung out to get to know more people that are trying to do this thing I'm trying to do. I hopped in my car and went home instead.
I used to dull my loneliness with drugs. I don't have that luxury anymore. This is a good thing. I need to learn how to face and deal with the things that make me uncomfortable. Face shit head on, ya know?
Shari didn't call today. I told her she could call collect but I don't know if collect calls can be made to cell phones. I'm curious (and concerned) as to what staff at the rehab had to say to her and my rehab roomie's girl about being with us the other night.
I'm worried about my rehab roommate as well. Something just doesn't feel right.
I'm tired and I know how that affects my mood and perceptions, but still... ...something is amiss.
It bothers me that I analyze things so much.
I sure would like to hear a woman's voice right about now. I don't know why. I'm afraid that perhaps I am trying to escape through chasing after relationships.
Isn't it natural to want to be with someone? I'm confused but this is to be expected.
Being clean is hard.
I have 18 days clean right now.
I hope I don't fuck this up.
After the meeting a bunch of dudes were hanging out across the street shootin' the shit. I could have went over and hung out to get to know more people that are trying to do this thing I'm trying to do. I hopped in my car and went home instead.
I used to dull my loneliness with drugs. I don't have that luxury anymore. This is a good thing. I need to learn how to face and deal with the things that make me uncomfortable. Face shit head on, ya know?
Shari didn't call today. I told her she could call collect but I don't know if collect calls can be made to cell phones. I'm curious (and concerned) as to what staff at the rehab had to say to her and my rehab roomie's girl about being with us the other night.
I'm worried about my rehab roommate as well. Something just doesn't feel right.
I'm tired and I know how that affects my mood and perceptions, but still... ...something is amiss.
It bothers me that I analyze things so much.
I sure would like to hear a woman's voice right about now. I don't know why. I'm afraid that perhaps I am trying to escape through chasing after relationships.
Isn't it natural to want to be with someone? I'm confused but this is to be expected.
Being clean is hard.
I have 18 days clean right now.
I hope I don't fuck this up.
