you go by the power of thought, completely believing that if you say something with enough conviction it will be accepted as truth. you may only use that kind of manipulation with me but the harsh reality of what really transpires will surface, if what i believe is indeed submerged in your slight lies. the best lies are tied with small truths and youve found out how to utilize fiction with reality for your greater gain.
sometimes i actually doubt myself when youre talking, you wouldve made for a great hitler, but in a figurative black and white situation it's easy to see your feigned disposition. what i have continuously failed to understand is how youre able to do what you do. im sure the act of nonthinking plays a huge role, but what about the times youre ridden with guilt?
chivalry, honor, valor, loyalty, honesty
i thought these words played a part in you. maybe they do in the life youve made for yourself, the life youve chosen to keep so separate from her, but you cant leave any block in your life unturned in order to be the man you claim to be. reread the words to yourself and think if they truly describe who you are in ALL aspects.
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not sure if ill be sending this one. there's hardly a point, but im a firm believer in writing things down to get them out of my head. this is definitely not something i wish to keep in there anymore. his actions are his actions and all i can do is focus on what i can do for her. redundant me is redundant.
the sad thing is he still calls and talks to me. rarely to ask how she is but to say if he's late with child support. ill ask when he's going to see her next, he tells me, then the date flies by and no word.
were all of my efforts useless? or did i subconsciously know they were and just expressed how i felt to make myself feel better? should i even concern myself with this subject matter anymore and just how idiotic should i feel? do i have any idea what the fuck im talking about?
where's a damn handbook...
sometimes i actually doubt myself when youre talking, you wouldve made for a great hitler, but in a figurative black and white situation it's easy to see your feigned disposition. what i have continuously failed to understand is how youre able to do what you do. im sure the act of nonthinking plays a huge role, but what about the times youre ridden with guilt?
chivalry, honor, valor, loyalty, honesty
i thought these words played a part in you. maybe they do in the life youve made for yourself, the life youve chosen to keep so separate from her, but you cant leave any block in your life unturned in order to be the man you claim to be. reread the words to yourself and think if they truly describe who you are in ALL aspects.
----------------------------------------------
not sure if ill be sending this one. there's hardly a point, but im a firm believer in writing things down to get them out of my head. this is definitely not something i wish to keep in there anymore. his actions are his actions and all i can do is focus on what i can do for her. redundant me is redundant.
the sad thing is he still calls and talks to me. rarely to ask how she is but to say if he's late with child support. ill ask when he's going to see her next, he tells me, then the date flies by and no word.
were all of my efforts useless? or did i subconsciously know they were and just expressed how i felt to make myself feel better? should i even concern myself with this subject matter anymore and just how idiotic should i feel? do i have any idea what the fuck im talking about?
where's a damn handbook...
