TheTwighlight
Bluelighter
Some of you may remember me posting something similar to this a while back. It was not finished at the time. It has been re-written in some areas for prose, but some has been left as-is. It's better than before, and should make a little more sense...
A Grand Mal Epiphony
I wonder if I'm really him...
The catastrophic catalyst.
Seems like I was put into a cell.
And it seems like something's missing...
Then I found a capsule.
It held the very secret to my life and all that ever was.
What all the world could ever want could never add this up.
And now I can't imagine what I really must believe
'Cause if I leave it all behind I'd be alone again, you see?
And we all know that that isn't good for me.
And all that I could ever ask would be for my mistakes to be my friends until the bitter end.
At times that's all it takes to wake me up from these nightmares bearing truth.
And when the sun comes up the feeling comes again to bring a brand new, worn out meaning to the end...
...if we could just find the right place we should begin.
Since I just don't belong with all of them.
I'll never see the reason I should stop this faux charade.
Why all the karma seems to fall all over me in spades.
I guess I'll just become a light too beautiful to see.
The person I had meant to be has torn apart my dreams.
I medicate because I love the cheers of infamy.
The only sustenence I truly have is feeding my disease.
But a life based on dependence on the most intrusive pain seems like a lucky and attractive place to stay.
I could try until a billion comets struck the New York crowd.
'Cause what they have is all I want, and this is why I never sleep at night.
A precious place to hide the man that no one wants to see.
But, really, that's just fine, I'd say.
Alright with me as long as I am drowning in the morphine stream.
Soon enough I'll be so free that every enemy will envy.
It won't take but a few CCs to cause another holocaust in me.
Is this happy?
I know it's dark and empty but I know that I believe.
And now my mind and my obsession can stay if they will never leave.
Only 'til I have to make believe I'm not a slave.
Forever I could never be this way.
A broken puppet playing make believe in a parade.
A mannaquin with twisted strings who would have said again to me -
"I love you. I miss you. But you just break my heart. It hurts too much to watch you fall apart.
And it's not that I don't miss you, and I haven't gotten bored, but this broken harness just won't hold our weight up anymore."
The other day a prophet told me I would be diseased - with such a grand obsession that I knew would live to breed.
The poison of the earth inside a tiny little seed.
And the antidote is written in a language I can't read.
And since then I've been drawing crooked circles in the sand.
Then I cover all the dirt back up to start where I began.
Or maybe that's just why I'll always need a helping hand, 'cause all the words and politics are very hard to understand.
When you've lost yourself in all the reasons why you lust for gloom.
I'm telling you: You'll never know the truth of why you feel so doomed.
But to end it now would never stitch the wound.
So I move backwards til I find the beast and where it's hiding its cacoon...
...and this is when I finally remove.
These pills I took could take me where I want and I'd approve to let them dig me to the grave where I could always stay for good.
But it seems just like I'm getting there too soon...
And now my human essence is surprised.
Some of us are just naive; moreover quite deprived.
Now I hope you understand that in a short time I'll be gone.
And, hopefully, since time tends to sell me short I think I'll end it wrong.
Just remember that I did it 'cause I can't resist the Siren's song of doom.
copyright 2007 The Horsehead Nebula
A Grand Mal Epiphony
I wonder if I'm really him...
The catastrophic catalyst.
Seems like I was put into a cell.
And it seems like something's missing...
Then I found a capsule.
It held the very secret to my life and all that ever was.
What all the world could ever want could never add this up.
And now I can't imagine what I really must believe
'Cause if I leave it all behind I'd be alone again, you see?
And we all know that that isn't good for me.
And all that I could ever ask would be for my mistakes to be my friends until the bitter end.
At times that's all it takes to wake me up from these nightmares bearing truth.
And when the sun comes up the feeling comes again to bring a brand new, worn out meaning to the end...
...if we could just find the right place we should begin.
Since I just don't belong with all of them.
I'll never see the reason I should stop this faux charade.
Why all the karma seems to fall all over me in spades.
I guess I'll just become a light too beautiful to see.
The person I had meant to be has torn apart my dreams.
I medicate because I love the cheers of infamy.
The only sustenence I truly have is feeding my disease.
But a life based on dependence on the most intrusive pain seems like a lucky and attractive place to stay.
I could try until a billion comets struck the New York crowd.
'Cause what they have is all I want, and this is why I never sleep at night.
A precious place to hide the man that no one wants to see.
But, really, that's just fine, I'd say.
Alright with me as long as I am drowning in the morphine stream.
Soon enough I'll be so free that every enemy will envy.
It won't take but a few CCs to cause another holocaust in me.
Is this happy?
I know it's dark and empty but I know that I believe.
And now my mind and my obsession can stay if they will never leave.
Only 'til I have to make believe I'm not a slave.
Forever I could never be this way.
A broken puppet playing make believe in a parade.
A mannaquin with twisted strings who would have said again to me -
"I love you. I miss you. But you just break my heart. It hurts too much to watch you fall apart.
And it's not that I don't miss you, and I haven't gotten bored, but this broken harness just won't hold our weight up anymore."
The other day a prophet told me I would be diseased - with such a grand obsession that I knew would live to breed.
The poison of the earth inside a tiny little seed.
And the antidote is written in a language I can't read.
And since then I've been drawing crooked circles in the sand.
Then I cover all the dirt back up to start where I began.
Or maybe that's just why I'll always need a helping hand, 'cause all the words and politics are very hard to understand.
When you've lost yourself in all the reasons why you lust for gloom.
I'm telling you: You'll never know the truth of why you feel so doomed.
But to end it now would never stitch the wound.
So I move backwards til I find the beast and where it's hiding its cacoon...
...and this is when I finally remove.
These pills I took could take me where I want and I'd approve to let them dig me to the grave where I could always stay for good.
But it seems just like I'm getting there too soon...
And now my human essence is surprised.
Some of us are just naive; moreover quite deprived.
Now I hope you understand that in a short time I'll be gone.
And, hopefully, since time tends to sell me short I think I'll end it wrong.
Just remember that I did it 'cause I can't resist the Siren's song of doom.
copyright 2007 The Horsehead Nebula
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