TheTwighlight
Bluelighter
A Grand Mal Epiphony
A Grand Mal Epiphony
I wonder if I'm really him...
The catastrophic catalyst.
Seems like I was put into a cell.
And it seems like something's missing...
Then I found a capsule.
It held the very secret to my life and all that ever was.
What all the world could want could never add this up.
And now I can't imagine what I really must believe, 'cause if I leave it all behind I'd be alone again.
And we all know that that isn't good for me.
And all that I could ever ask would be for my mistakes to be my friends until the bitter end.
Sometimes that's all it takes to wake me up.
And when the sun comes up the feeling comes again to bring a brand new, worn out meaning to its grin.
Since I just don't belong with them.
I'll never see the reason I should stop this faux charade.
Why all the karma seems to fall all over me in spades.
I guess I'll just become a light too beautiful to see.
The person I had meant to be has torn apart my dreams.
I medicate because I love the cheers of infamy.
The only sustenence I have is feeding my disease.
But a life based on dependence of the most addictive pain seems a lucky and attractive place to stay.
I could try until a billion comets struck the New York crowd.
'Cause what they have is all I want, and this is why I never sleep at night.
A precious place to hide the man that no one wants to see.
But, really, that's all good.
Alright with me as long as I am steadily drowning in the morphine stream.
It won't take but a few CCs to cause another holocaust in me.
Soon enough I'll be so free that every enemy will envy.
Every enemy will envy. Every enemy will envy me.
Is this "happy"?
I know it's dark and empty but I know that I believe.
And now my mind and my obsession can stay if they will never leave.
Only 'til I have to make believe I'm not a slave.
Forever I could never be this way.
A broken puppet playing make believe in a parade.
A mannaquin with twisted strings who would have said again to me -
"I love you. I miss you. But you just break my heart. It hurts too much to watch you fall apart. And it's not that I don't want you, and I haven't gotten bored, but this knotted harness just won't hold our weight up anymore."
The other day a prophet told me I would be diseased - with such a grand obsession that I knew would live to breed the poison of the earth inside a pretty little seed, and the antidote is written in a language I can't read.
And since then I've been drawing crooked circles in the sand.
Then I cover all the dirt back up to start where I began.
Or maybe that's just why I always need a helping hand, 'cause all the words and politics are very hard to understand.
When you've lost yourself in all the reasons why you lust for gloom.
I'm telling you: You'll never know the truth or the reasons why you feel so doomed.
But to end it now would never stitch the wound.
So I move backwards til I find the beast and where it's hiding its cacoon...
...and this is when I finally remove.
These pills I took could dig me to my grave and I'd approve to let them take me to the moon where I could always stay for good.
But it just seems like I'm getting there too soon...
And now my human essence is surprised.
Some of us are quite naive, not always just deprived.
Now, I hope you understand that in a short time I'll be gone.
And, hopefully, since time sometimes tends to sell me short, I think I'll end it wrong.
Just remember that I did it 'cause I can't resist the Siren's song of doom.
Copyright 2006 The Horsehead Nebula
A Grand Mal Epiphony
I wonder if I'm really him...
The catastrophic catalyst.
Seems like I was put into a cell.
And it seems like something's missing...
Then I found a capsule.
It held the very secret to my life and all that ever was.
What all the world could want could never add this up.
And now I can't imagine what I really must believe, 'cause if I leave it all behind I'd be alone again.
And we all know that that isn't good for me.
And all that I could ever ask would be for my mistakes to be my friends until the bitter end.
Sometimes that's all it takes to wake me up.
And when the sun comes up the feeling comes again to bring a brand new, worn out meaning to its grin.
Since I just don't belong with them.
I'll never see the reason I should stop this faux charade.
Why all the karma seems to fall all over me in spades.
I guess I'll just become a light too beautiful to see.
The person I had meant to be has torn apart my dreams.
I medicate because I love the cheers of infamy.
The only sustenence I have is feeding my disease.
But a life based on dependence of the most addictive pain seems a lucky and attractive place to stay.
I could try until a billion comets struck the New York crowd.
'Cause what they have is all I want, and this is why I never sleep at night.
A precious place to hide the man that no one wants to see.
But, really, that's all good.
Alright with me as long as I am steadily drowning in the morphine stream.
It won't take but a few CCs to cause another holocaust in me.
Soon enough I'll be so free that every enemy will envy.
Every enemy will envy. Every enemy will envy me.
Is this "happy"?
I know it's dark and empty but I know that I believe.
And now my mind and my obsession can stay if they will never leave.
Only 'til I have to make believe I'm not a slave.
Forever I could never be this way.
A broken puppet playing make believe in a parade.
A mannaquin with twisted strings who would have said again to me -
"I love you. I miss you. But you just break my heart. It hurts too much to watch you fall apart. And it's not that I don't want you, and I haven't gotten bored, but this knotted harness just won't hold our weight up anymore."
The other day a prophet told me I would be diseased - with such a grand obsession that I knew would live to breed the poison of the earth inside a pretty little seed, and the antidote is written in a language I can't read.
And since then I've been drawing crooked circles in the sand.
Then I cover all the dirt back up to start where I began.
Or maybe that's just why I always need a helping hand, 'cause all the words and politics are very hard to understand.
When you've lost yourself in all the reasons why you lust for gloom.
I'm telling you: You'll never know the truth or the reasons why you feel so doomed.
But to end it now would never stitch the wound.
So I move backwards til I find the beast and where it's hiding its cacoon...
...and this is when I finally remove.
These pills I took could dig me to my grave and I'd approve to let them take me to the moon where I could always stay for good.
But it just seems like I'm getting there too soon...
And now my human essence is surprised.
Some of us are quite naive, not always just deprived.
Now, I hope you understand that in a short time I'll be gone.
And, hopefully, since time sometimes tends to sell me short, I think I'll end it wrong.
Just remember that I did it 'cause I can't resist the Siren's song of doom.
Copyright 2006 The Horsehead Nebula
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