A former friend no longer

[Ghettotastic_bong]

I guess the lighthearted infantile approach i previously took with this poem has been disliked, so i'll replace it with stark honestly. It's painful to have lost a friend over something so confusing and petty, and this poem is about the emotions associated with losing a friend, and i hope he who it's intended for would heed it's advice.


first meeting, kindness
you opened your heart and soul
another lost soul

pontificate life
countless nights wasted away
comfort in the cold

in the thaw of spring,
your true charcter would reveal
immature appeal

dropped out from college
trying to find happiness
hopelessly lovestruck

those who do not learn
from history are bound to
repeat it, some say

hopeless dramatics
guiding these who show hatred
random bluelighters

so it comes to this
a charade to avoid me
i'd have understood

 

[wastedwalrus]

Very good but very sad. I'm aware of the specific situation which makes the poem even more emotional and vivid for me. I like your interesting take on the haiku style. Normally I would associate haikus with nature and love but you made loss a perfect candidate for the haiku in this poem. I know you really like them as a means of expression and you're very good at it.

"those who do not learn
from history are bound to
repeat it, some say"

...so painfully true in this situation

My only advice is to check spelling and meter (I believe it's supposed to be 5-7-5, which is not the case in stanza 6). Some of the content seems a little fragmented too but, it could easily be what you were going for given the structure of the poem and the real-life situation.

Thanks for sharing peter.

 

[colicolo]

thankyou, this is a good piece.

 

[Hoss]

^ Great piece. Also, and this is off topic, but I loved the fact that both Ghetto & Wasted had the same avatar; choice!