Did you ever see the movie "Something to Talk About" with Julia Roberts and Dennis Quaid? Well, they are married, with a daughter. One day, Julia is driving her daughter somewhere and when she stops at a red light, she sees her husband standing on a street corner kissing another woman. That night when she goes out looking for him (he said he was at a business meeting) she finds him at a bar with the same girl, and he proceeds to lie to her face, telling her nothing is going on. Julia Roberts is kind of like me in that movie, she stood in the middle of the street screaming at him in her nightgown, and she said to him "That's it? That's all i get? You're going to stand there and lie to me in the middle of the street?" Its really sad, but she does the right thing and she leaves him. The movie is basically the story of the end of their relationship leading to their divorce... and one thing she says at the end when there is that split second that it looks like she *might* take him back... "How are we going to make sure we dont end up right back here? I dont want to look back at my life and see that I had to chance to be something great, and I didnt take it." Well anyway, the end of that movie is my favorite. It makes me smile and cry at the same time. They are at a party and there's all these rumors going around about them getting a divorce, and all of a sudden, their song comes on (Something to Talk About) and he grabs her and pulls her out onto the dance floor. She gives him a look like "What the hell are you doing" but he gets her to dance, and everyone makes a circle around them as they dance. At the end of the song he twirls her and dips her, looking into her eyes, probalby like he did years ago, and she says to him, "A Fitting End."
We all know that relationships never end quite that nicely.
Will this be the last post about justin? i dont know. I hope so. for my sake and yours. This is no poetry... this is the way i see things ending my head, because i know they will end very differently in reality.
Rumors suck, and i didnt want to believe rumors over the word of the guy i loved with all my heart. But i swore to myself that if i ever got proof, of just ONE of the many rumors being true, i would let him go. And i got that proof the other day. It was a relief, but more than anything, it broke my heart. And i've had to sit around and wait for him to come home, so that i can tell him to get out of my house, and out of my life. After we broke up 2 weeks ago, I was nice enough to let him stay living in my house until he gets a place, and we were going to work on being friends, because even before love, he's still my best friend in the world. but now... i cant even have him as that. i have to force him out of my life completely. and the worst moment of my life will be that moment that i say it out loud... "It's over for good this time."
How will it end? There will be yelling, there will be fighting... there will be me trying to be strong but ending up crying. There will be him being an asshole. He will say "Fine" and he will walk out of my house and out of my life without so much as goodbye. And that's the last i will see of the guy i was going to spend the rest of my life with.
This post... this is how it ends in my mind.
--------------------------------
He walked into my house like he had done so many times before after a weekend out with his friends. I was quiet, no knowing what i should say. So i just came out with it "I want you to give back my key, take your things, and leave. I need to get on with my life. I dont want to see you ever again." He will ask why, and I will tell him about MY weekend. He will, for the first time in 2 years, look me in the eye and finally admit to everything. And he will say those words "I'm sorry." Words he never says.
He will pack up his stuff, and I will help. As he looks around my room for his stuff, his eyes stop on one of the many pictures of us... our engagement picture, pictures taken at my first apartment, pictures from the beach where it all went wrong. Pictures where the smiles weren't forced.... they were real. He smiles, and asks me if he can have one of the pictures. I hand it to him and he puts it into his bag. I see tears in his eyes. But he doesnt cry. He walks around my house, picking up clothes, and records. Some time later, my house looking emptier and somehow lonesome, he stands in my hallway, and waits for me to let him out. I walk up to him, and he places the key in my hand.
My voice chokes up. I force the tears to stay in my eyes. (Be strong, be strong). I try to say something, but what? I cant speak. My knees start to shake. He looks me in eyes, and we dont say anything, we just stare (he hasn't looked at me in so long). Suddenly, he takes me in his arms, and we start to dance. There is no music in the room, just in our hearts. I close my eyes and I am back in the club on a Thursday night long forgotten and we are dancing to the song he dedicated to me, and we are happy, and we are in love, and the night never ends. I feel him holding me, tighter than he ever has, and I know its not just me that doesnt want to let go. I hear him whisper "I'm so sorry."
We agree to each other that we will forget about these past few months were things were terrible. We vow to remember each other with only fond memories. I tell him that he's the best thing that ever happened to me, despite how things turned out, and he tells me that if he could go back and do things different, he would. We agree that we will not cry. We will say goodbye like old friends who will see each other the next week... not 2 broken-hearted people who will never see each other again. We agree that he will go out the door and not look back, and that i will walk back to the kitchen, not go to the window and watch him drive away.
He kisses me, one last time. And it feels like the first time. I will always remember that kiss. That kiss that felt like goodbye.
He walks to the door, and his hand is on the knob. He turns it. Opens the door, takes a step out. When he turns around, tears are streaming down his face. And i say to him "You promised no tears." And he says "So did you" as my heart crumbles and tears fall endlessly like rain from my eyes. "I love you" we say almost at the same time, and he smiles.
I walk to my window and watch him get into his car. He pokes his head out the window and looks up at me. And he yells "I'll never forget you" as he drives away.
A fitting end. If only...
------------------
E-girl
IM: tiggersgurl2067
*Choice, not chance, determines destiny*
"November is all I know."
We all know that relationships never end quite that nicely.
Will this be the last post about justin? i dont know. I hope so. for my sake and yours. This is no poetry... this is the way i see things ending my head, because i know they will end very differently in reality.
Rumors suck, and i didnt want to believe rumors over the word of the guy i loved with all my heart. But i swore to myself that if i ever got proof, of just ONE of the many rumors being true, i would let him go. And i got that proof the other day. It was a relief, but more than anything, it broke my heart. And i've had to sit around and wait for him to come home, so that i can tell him to get out of my house, and out of my life. After we broke up 2 weeks ago, I was nice enough to let him stay living in my house until he gets a place, and we were going to work on being friends, because even before love, he's still my best friend in the world. but now... i cant even have him as that. i have to force him out of my life completely. and the worst moment of my life will be that moment that i say it out loud... "It's over for good this time."
How will it end? There will be yelling, there will be fighting... there will be me trying to be strong but ending up crying. There will be him being an asshole. He will say "Fine" and he will walk out of my house and out of my life without so much as goodbye. And that's the last i will see of the guy i was going to spend the rest of my life with.
This post... this is how it ends in my mind.
--------------------------------
He walked into my house like he had done so many times before after a weekend out with his friends. I was quiet, no knowing what i should say. So i just came out with it "I want you to give back my key, take your things, and leave. I need to get on with my life. I dont want to see you ever again." He will ask why, and I will tell him about MY weekend. He will, for the first time in 2 years, look me in the eye and finally admit to everything. And he will say those words "I'm sorry." Words he never says.
He will pack up his stuff, and I will help. As he looks around my room for his stuff, his eyes stop on one of the many pictures of us... our engagement picture, pictures taken at my first apartment, pictures from the beach where it all went wrong. Pictures where the smiles weren't forced.... they were real. He smiles, and asks me if he can have one of the pictures. I hand it to him and he puts it into his bag. I see tears in his eyes. But he doesnt cry. He walks around my house, picking up clothes, and records. Some time later, my house looking emptier and somehow lonesome, he stands in my hallway, and waits for me to let him out. I walk up to him, and he places the key in my hand.
My voice chokes up. I force the tears to stay in my eyes. (Be strong, be strong). I try to say something, but what? I cant speak. My knees start to shake. He looks me in eyes, and we dont say anything, we just stare (he hasn't looked at me in so long). Suddenly, he takes me in his arms, and we start to dance. There is no music in the room, just in our hearts. I close my eyes and I am back in the club on a Thursday night long forgotten and we are dancing to the song he dedicated to me, and we are happy, and we are in love, and the night never ends. I feel him holding me, tighter than he ever has, and I know its not just me that doesnt want to let go. I hear him whisper "I'm so sorry."
We agree to each other that we will forget about these past few months were things were terrible. We vow to remember each other with only fond memories. I tell him that he's the best thing that ever happened to me, despite how things turned out, and he tells me that if he could go back and do things different, he would. We agree that we will not cry. We will say goodbye like old friends who will see each other the next week... not 2 broken-hearted people who will never see each other again. We agree that he will go out the door and not look back, and that i will walk back to the kitchen, not go to the window and watch him drive away.
He kisses me, one last time. And it feels like the first time. I will always remember that kiss. That kiss that felt like goodbye.
He walks to the door, and his hand is on the knob. He turns it. Opens the door, takes a step out. When he turns around, tears are streaming down his face. And i say to him "You promised no tears." And he says "So did you" as my heart crumbles and tears fall endlessly like rain from my eyes. "I love you" we say almost at the same time, and he smiles.
I walk to my window and watch him get into his car. He pokes his head out the window and looks up at me. And he yells "I'll never forget you" as he drives away.
A fitting end. If only...
------------------
E-girl
IM: tiggersgurl2067
*Choice, not chance, determines destiny*
"November is all I know."
