I can relate to having 12 steps forced upon me. Sucks big time. I just tell people 12 steps makes me jones and they leave me alone. hehe. Its not even really a lie. I'm trying to get out of that lifestyle not be reminded of it every single day. That shit would make me go off the deep end eventually.
Yeah I agree about long term 12 step programs. Some people can't pick up a white chip if they slip up and if they are that emotionally invested in it to where it is their social life it seems like slip ups are even worse for members.
There are some people in there that will tell you that if you have one drink you will be performing sexual favors for hard drugs by the end of the night, might be true for them but the whole relapse and die is a bit extreme. I am not undermining the program just some people that don't bring much to the table.
There also are some really nasty people. I remember I took an ex fiance to a meeting and some woman talked so much shit to her for talking and she only talked to me when she was asking about the chips. This gal was sent sensitive but sure didn't look it, she was sobbing. I never seen her breakdown and she is just like this is supposed to make me better and I just told her that some people are just not nice. It wasn't her fault she didn't understand the chip thing, she wasn't the smartest, once again not her fault but it left a bad impression of recovery until some people spoke to her including my sponsor and explained things. She basically got treated bad because she was very pretty and the woman had a chip on her shoulder, pun not intended.
I have been to several meetings where people with 20 years clean or so had killed themselves after relapsing.
I don't like the all or nothing mindset some people pick up. Life isn't so black and white and neither is substance use and abuse. Even addiction is different for people from mental to physical dependency.
All that being said, AA and NA based rehab and recovery is probably still the best we got out there. I have seen far worse tactics implemented in drug treatment. So AA does protect you from worse and believe there is worse and honestly it was so bad I don't want to discuss it but I found incarceration more pleasant than the last few inpatient places I went and it was better when it was AA based. I would rather be praying and drinking coffee than have to clean my room, the halls, and shower before getting detox meds. I liked starting the day with a prayer. These places scare me more than jail.
As far as staying clean, I couldn't go to AA daily and not use, maybe a few times a week. It is good support at first but I don't want to spend my time going over the past and not living the future I worked to get.
Also what is the deal with these 20 year old kids in AA that have as much clean time as they spent using. They all seem to plan on spending the rest of their life in AA and/or NA. I don't like NA at all, prefer As even though my problems were more than alcohol for sure.
I remember one guy who was 17 and he had a year clean. His mother was in the program and convinced him he was an addict after having what was clearly manic episode and I doubt alcohol induced it, I am pretty sure he is bipolar. I think he needed some sort of group counseling but yeah that is not the place.
I really hate people who don't know me telling me that if they can do it I can because they did this or that and there is no way anyone else could have had it so rough or committed an act so desperate. That type of mentality is destructive to everyone there and yet widely applauded. I don't care who loud someone can yell about their hardcore life of crime and misery because those people tend not to be what they present themselves.
I know first hand the people with really bad problems and memories just do not want to talk about them. I am sure some mean well but for someone to tell me they did more drugs so I can just cold turkey cuz they did can really cause damage if not kill because wd can kill with alcohol benzos, and barbiturates to name a few.
Also these treatment centers say things to the family that are not true and I remember I had trouble finding a place because I have seizures and they say my seizure medication is part of my addiction and I call bullshit there, I never abused it and the staff told me all sorts of crazy shit as they said my mother didn't want to speak to me, my best friend didn't ever want to see me until I did 12 steps, and my gf was breaking up with me. So when my gf picked me up they kept my wallet and money and this was a place I paid for and it was isolated with no cell phone service anywhere within hours but she came through right before I had another seizure and they said she was breaking up with me, lol. I wasn't naive enough in my life to ever buy that but these people were fine with risking my life and letting me have seizures while telling me everyone I was close to wanted nothing to do with me.
They kept 500 dollars of my money so they wouldn't contribute to my relapse but it was my money and I left to not die of a seizure. They were fine on the phone with me taking medication I need to not die. I get some people abuse it but that is not my problem. They kept some of my art supplies and I had to pay for the shipping and they still managed to break my stuff. I don't have that type of money to drive six hours and then pay for someone else to drive six hours.
Went a bit of topic but I did want to point out how difficult they will make your life is there is a medication you need and I suppose the rebuttal would be what would have happened if that type of medication didn't exist, chances are I would be dead from a seizure. So that is great they want to deviate from AA principles just to be progressive and create a one size fits all program that doesn't fit all.
The mentality is it is your fault if their program does not work for you. I did call them a few months later to tell them I was still clean and was then but no thanks to them.
It is a real bitch when your freedom depends on them because you will get seizure medication in jail after enough seizures but not with these people. Trust me, I know first hand or better yet question it and everything because you should think for yourself.