A bit of help please??

[Apk506]

So I have a question, or two, my sister has been an addict for about 8-10 years, and is currently on methadone. She has an almost 2 year old daughter and is living with our mom. She went off the methadone and relapsed around christmas time, and is back on methadone, as far as I know. My question really is based on how she has been acting lately, major anger explosions on me, and my mom ( who are the only people that help her financially or with her daughter) on top of issues at work. Her anger is unwarrented and almost out of control. Plus I am seeing her hanging out with old friends that I know are past users, and she is struggling to pay bills. I'm afraid she is using again, but she won't talk to anyone, go to meetings or anything. I don't care if she talks to me, my mom, or a counselor, I just want to make sure she and her baby are ok!! Any advice out there????? I'm getting desperate!

 

[pro re nata]

hey there Apk.. . you have to take care of yourself so you can keep as clear of a mind as possible and to give your body the love it needs. the more internal stress that you hold is going to only reflect onto the people you want to help. it can become or sounds like it already is a very harsh cycle to be in. you can not change people even tho you want to help them in a positive way. being patient and trying to start to form a dialog that is honest and real in delicately addressing how your sister feels. her anger is out of pain/guilt/remorse for where she is at. she is hurting inside and wants to break from it but is scared and lost with in her addiction.

try to hang out with her, just the two of you in a calm environment where there is space to breath. take things slowly with your concerns. if you come at her with to many things at once it could push her back even further and distant your communication. show her love and remind her that she is and will be a wonderful mother, how amazing her little girl is. that she has the full support and openness of you and your mother, a true family. make small moves and build on them. try not to get ahead of yourself with thoughts that are too big or drastic as they will just create more unnecessary tension and anxiety. i know you, your mom and most off her daughter are feeling the bellows of her addiction and pain. putting yourself in her shows might help see and feel a bit of the place she is so stuck in. you guys have to stay strong, together, patient and aware. you can do this, you can help her... push that door open and let her know you are there...

 

[mrflowers00]

tell her you love her and you're concerned and you want to help her but you don't know how ask her how she feels you can help her control her temper "not drug use" mention drug use and she will shut down or explode whether or not she is using again

 

[ad lib]

tell her you love her and you're concerned and you want to help her but you don't know how ask her how she feels you can help her control her temper "not drug use" mention drug use and she will shut down or explode whether or not she is using again

Yes. Great advice flowers.

OP, approach the situation gently and clearly state it's out of concern- not drugs. If she IS using again, if you approach it in an accusatory way, then she is most likely to shut down, explode with anger, and it may even cause her to use.

Tone and demeanor go a long way