Hello all..
So, same as many before me, I've been a non-member BL user for years now, and have taken comfort & solid advise from many of your personal struggles & stories. It's only now that I felt compelled to write...
So a bit about me.. Im 35yr old male, live in the uk. I've been on/off H & crack for the last decade (more on than off), and this was proceeded by another decade of recreational drug use.
My relationships with girlfriends, friends and family have all suffered through my addiction, as I write this my fiancée has just packed her bags for the last time. I've distanced myself from pretty much all my mates, and for the first time in my life I feel a crushing sense of loneliness that scare the shit out I me.
Last night I made a decision to change, for what I hope I the last time. So I took my last hit, went to the shop and got some supplies, spent my last £50 on a load of subutex, deleted my dealer numbers, booked a few days off work, and now am playing the waiting game for w/d's to get bad enough before self-inducing sub. It's been 14hrs since my last fix, and although I can feel the creeping dread of w/d's, I'm not ready yet.
My mental/emotional state is pretty fragile... I've thought about removing my misery from the gene pool a few times of late, so figured now might be a good time to reach out to some people in the know!
Not too sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, but thought this might be a good start
So, same as many before me, I've been a non-member BL user for years now, and have taken comfort & solid advise from many of your personal struggles & stories. It's only now that I felt compelled to write...
So a bit about me.. Im 35yr old male, live in the uk. I've been on/off H & crack for the last decade (more on than off), and this was proceeded by another decade of recreational drug use.
My relationships with girlfriends, friends and family have all suffered through my addiction, as I write this my fiancée has just packed her bags for the last time. I've distanced myself from pretty much all my mates, and for the first time in my life I feel a crushing sense of loneliness that scare the shit out I me.
Last night I made a decision to change, for what I hope I the last time. So I took my last hit, went to the shop and got some supplies, spent my last £50 on a load of subutex, deleted my dealer numbers, booked a few days off work, and now am playing the waiting game for w/d's to get bad enough before self-inducing sub. It's been 14hrs since my last fix, and although I can feel the creeping dread of w/d's, I'm not ready yet.
My mental/emotional state is pretty fragile... I've thought about removing my misery from the gene pool a few times of late, so figured now might be a good time to reach out to some people in the know!
Not too sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, but thought this might be a good start
