RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Im either a god or i belong in a mental hospital but my powers intensity at this point is crazy im just focusing it in whilst recording it
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Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat
A beautiful mistake, for those stupid enough to get to this thread dont repeat it thats why i made it
- Thread starter RebirthOfThoth
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RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Vision difficult, may "die" or have a true obe and return
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
One last puff of snoop doggy dog dogs favorite strain and I'm going to post tomorrow for real
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Okay, doing voice to text because I'm a lazy mother f*****, and yes it'll self-censor. Got to find a way to fix that. Without out of the way, let me give you a little rundown of what happened last night from the last time I posted.. Rather yesterday morning
I recorded myself on anchor the Spotify app, and then ended up deleting that because it was just trash and me rambling although it did have some good points in it all I was really doing was offering solutions to society after it collapses and talking about how I was going to draw and talk and then never ended up drawing.
The s*** lasted entirely through Thursday man, I felt f****** retarded all day long, barely hit my hhc battery, and visuals would spike every time I hit some nicotine or THC related product. At the end of the night, I had taken a little more (maybe 0.1) dope orally and hit hit fuckin hard. Strong euphoria yet i was retarded and speeding. Tried to glue a walking stick together for ???? Time? Realized i was fried and took 4 klonopin .5s to stop my beating heartrate and sleep
I put sleep off then i had rapid heartbeat before bed making me worry about arrhythmia, then i kept getting horny and it made my heart kinda feel funny on the left side which is less concerning than the right side. Passed out, after being in a hypnagognic state and seeing spirits of both human and geometric form walk everywhere around me.
I wish to reach that state again but not in a state of serotonin fueled delirium, and sleep deprivation.
My personal beliefs are i may have been seeing actual high level entities but they were a little disturbed by my confused horny nature when i should have been neutral and just in the void.
Whats the 4th plateau like again? I saw jungle scenes and pyramids in the desert at some point
Still hearing whispers of the spirits that were here so today I'll detvote my alone time to making the veil between man's temple and spirit thinned. Osiris sitting across from the Buddha in my Zen garden, a cross and star raked into the sand around them
I recorded myself on anchor the Spotify app, and then ended up deleting that because it was just trash and me rambling although it did have some good points in it all I was really doing was offering solutions to society after it collapses and talking about how I was going to draw and talk and then never ended up drawing.
The s*** lasted entirely through Thursday man, I felt f****** retarded all day long, barely hit my hhc battery, and visuals would spike every time I hit some nicotine or THC related product. At the end of the night, I had taken a little more (maybe 0.1) dope orally and hit hit fuckin hard. Strong euphoria yet i was retarded and speeding. Tried to glue a walking stick together for ???? Time? Realized i was fried and took 4 klonopin .5s to stop my beating heartrate and sleep
I put sleep off then i had rapid heartbeat before bed making me worry about arrhythmia, then i kept getting horny and it made my heart kinda feel funny on the left side which is less concerning than the right side. Passed out, after being in a hypnagognic state and seeing spirits of both human and geometric form walk everywhere around me.
I wish to reach that state again but not in a state of serotonin fueled delirium, and sleep deprivation.
My personal beliefs are i may have been seeing actual high level entities but they were a little disturbed by my confused horny nature when i should have been neutral and just in the void.
Whats the 4th plateau like again? I saw jungle scenes and pyramids in the desert at some point
Still hearing whispers of the spirits that were here so today I'll detvote my alone time to making the veil between man's temple and spirit thinned. Osiris sitting across from the Buddha in my Zen garden, a cross and star raked into the sand around them
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Mind you i had full open eye visuals, obe, visions, what felt like time dilation or contraction, and yeah just the most dxm visuals ive ever had.
Must be the serotonin from the dope and the hhc making me either psychotic or opening gateways in brain. Who knows. Not prone to psychotic episodes, even on LSD at doses of 800 mics + i can ususaly retain some form of self awareness without punishing costs. But that concludes this experiment, sorry i got too fucked up to timestamp it like an erowid post guys
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Mixing DXM with serotonin releasers like meth is extremely dangerous. Not quite as bad as mixing MDMA and DXM (we had a BLer die a while back after posting a question about whether he should mix those and then he did before he got an answer and died)... but still very dangerous. I HIGHLLY recommend you do not do this in the future. Anything that releases or inhibits the reuptake of serotonin is very dangerous to mix with DXM, especially with such a high dose of DXM.
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
I will never dose a disso again at anything past a mild dose for neurotransmitter sensitivity. It was foolish yes but i seemingly cannot die, im linking this thread in my becomealivinggod forum post and vice versa.
Ty for saying this and i concur. I only did this knowing full well I'd be fine after it's over, in fact i haven't been in such control of myself in years.
I did it because nobody else really had, and it sucked. Don't be the guinea pig unless you're positive on a scientifically informed level you will survive. Like anesthesiologist level consideration.
Most important, just don't do this shit.. Focus on spirituality. Not religion. But find your path and learn your true power, whoevers eyes fall upon this years in the futureMagick forum
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BourbonMac
Bluelighter
This sounds like it could've been a great recipe for lasting psychosis. Don't try to mix these in the future, you're lucky you came out alright.
But if you take a combination that awful you might just wish you would.
And everyone dies eventually.. even if they never pay taxes. Its not even death that could be the worst thing.. you can end up living a long life with a damaged brain or body.
Glad you made it through.. consider treating yourself kinder
seemingly you haven't died yet. I assure you, you very much can and will die. Everyone thinks they are immortal til they hit that wrong turn.But if you take a combination that awful you might just wish you would.
And everyone dies eventually.. even if they never pay taxes. Its not even death that could be the worst thing.. you can end up living a long life with a damaged brain or body.
Glad you made it through.. consider treating yourself kinder
IME it is pretty hard to get yourself over one of the hard lines in the sand afa drugs and bodily function, but once you do shit goes haywire
real fucking fast.
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Honestly it was needed
I wasn't gonna learn until I really came close and this experience showed me that regardless of what happens sometimes you just know the whole time something isn't worth it.
I knew, but willfully ignored. After that trip, I've been forced to reckon with my habits.
At this point i no longer drink, nicotine is social if at all, i haven't bought anymore of those jwh related compounds like HHC P even though the shit i get has had zero detriment i just wanna loosen the chains.
You wouldn't believe it but I've been up about 4 days at this point. I was sober all day today until like 2PM and idk how but i still feel like i have fully slept. This is new to me but I'm taking the time to use this weird in-between state to ponder the depths i have sunk to and the heights I'm going to climb to.
I'll probably sleep tonight, i have had a couple drops in energy but sans amphetamines (i can get Dexedrine meth and Adderall all day) i have even managed to eradicate my stimulant induced porn addiction, take cold showers, I basically just make sure i deny myself pleasure in small areas that add up. That and a protein and amino acid laden diet. My general wellbeing is assured care now, and i hopef- well no, just to make myself take responsibility for the shit i let into my life, i know for fact that in the near and far future I'll only use substances for very specific purposes, if at all.
But thank you again everyone for the warnings and concern.
Thats part of why i even did this. I wanted to leave a warning to people as stubborn and set in their way as i can get. But hopefully nobody needs to ever combine these things again
I wasn't gonna learn until I really came close and this experience showed me that regardless of what happens sometimes you just know the whole time something isn't worth it.
I knew, but willfully ignored. After that trip, I've been forced to reckon with my habits.
At this point i no longer drink, nicotine is social if at all, i haven't bought anymore of those jwh related compounds like HHC P even though the shit i get has had zero detriment i just wanna loosen the chains.
You wouldn't believe it but I've been up about 4 days at this point. I was sober all day today until like 2PM and idk how but i still feel like i have fully slept. This is new to me but I'm taking the time to use this weird in-between state to ponder the depths i have sunk to and the heights I'm going to climb to.
I'll probably sleep tonight, i have had a couple drops in energy but sans amphetamines (i can get Dexedrine meth and Adderall all day) i have even managed to eradicate my stimulant induced porn addiction, take cold showers, I basically just make sure i deny myself pleasure in small areas that add up. That and a protein and amino acid laden diet. My general wellbeing is assured care now, and i hopef- well no, just to make myself take responsibility for the shit i let into my life, i know for fact that in the near and far future I'll only use substances for very specific purposes, if at all.
But thank you again everyone for the warnings and concern.
Thats part of why i even did this. I wanted to leave a warning to people as stubborn and set in their way as i can get. But hopefully nobody needs to ever combine these things again
@RebirthOfThoth .. this is amazing. Amphetamine ect co addiction with porn and or sex is a keystone addiction as it manifests as a long standing human drive that is significantly enhanced, in many, by addictive stimulant substances, often to a compulsion. Please share how you did this and how long its worked for you.
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RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Well believe in it or not i initiated myself to Thoth.
That and years of applied psychology learned from experts and the mentally ill of any sort from personality disorders (i likely have BPD, i do have ADD and Asperger's) to mental and psychosomatic ones. Wise mind and Buddhist technique in psychology settings combined with genuine attempts to learn and better myself had made invoking gods that embody qualities like wisdom and love became easy.
Work with Lilith and Thoth has literally fixed years of a broken standing with my parents in 3 weeks. I am very intelligent but i am arrogant and stubborn sometimes. I needed wisdom and love, and in those deities i found what i needed, both from within and changes so intense and sudden in my behavior language and attitude my mother is happy with the way we are for the first time in years.
Idk what else to say. I've wasted my life from age 17 when i started smoking then honestly abusing pot, to a relationship ending which started a meth habit and porn habit, about 3 years ago, and now has ended with the most unexpectedly powerful shift in paradigm for me
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Thats the truth, and idk what y'all believe in or think but I'm telling you, those who truly are ready to let go of ego and let their short sightedness come to an end as they accept their faults and love themselves again for the first time since 2010 (i have been horribly depressed since age 10) will find what they look for.
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
And sorry for any typos i noticed one at the top.
Ill message tm, phones gonna die. I hope this helped i wanted to give a genuine answer on this because i cannot stress enough how fast my life has suddenly gleamed bright with wisdom and hope
Ill message tm, phones gonna die. I hope this helped i wanted to give a genuine answer on this because i cannot stress enough how fast my life has suddenly gleamed bright with wisdom and hope
Don't worry about the typos.. I have 28k + posts and im certain there is glaring typos in 90%.. well I can't guarantee that because my brain refuses pay attention to almost all that shit. So I will never know.
I don't want to derail your thread, but consider posting more details of the insights you have found, what they have taught you and why they resulted in your profound results.
I don't want to derail your thread, but consider posting more details of the insights you have found, what they have taught you and why they resulted in your profound results.
RebirthOfThoth
Bluelighter
Absolutely, my buddy just showed up with a charger
If i record a small podcast episode would y'all listen to it? It'd make a long story short. I'll make transcripts too incase that doesn't work out
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