A battle between my conscience, consciousness, and co-existence

[apocalyptic vendetta]

Hi.
How are you today?
I am sad.
Sad? Why are you sad?
Something has upset me.
I did something I shouldn't have done.
Oh, what is that?
I indulged... in chemical substances.
No, you didn't how many tim....
I, I know, it was wrong.
But isn't it just a part of life?
No, you want to be healthy.
Keep your mind open.
NO, you aren't even awake
What?
This is all a dream
Nothing you see is reality.
What are you talking about?
I am fully awake, and watching my surroundings.
You are sleeping; everything in your life is a big nightmare
No, no it can’t be I know I am awake
YOU don't even EXIST
What, you're talking crazy now..
You tell me one thing that can prove you are alive
One thing that isn't just an image, a figment in your head.
Well... uh....
SEE
NO, maybe if you didn't indulge in chemical substances you wouldn't think like this
But, but... I like them
No, you don't.. . You hate them; they make you hate yourself
and everyone else.
They make you think you don't exist.
And that you aren't even awake.
But what if I don't exist.
What if I am not awake?
What makes me real?
You are so stupid kid.
Stop fucking up your life... you were headed down the right path
But you always fall short.
Someone...
Anyone..
Please, put the gun to my head.
Make the pain go away.
I won’t ever make a mistake again.
I promise.
I want to be real
I want to be awake
I should listen to myself.
I am usually right.
This feeling will pass....
Eventually.

 

[harraser]

similar thoughts have passed through my head often.... the simple fact is you cant tell if this is all real, but really it doesnt matter, this is what youre experiencing, even if its a dream, and until you wake up this is your life, so take the responsibility and if you dont like how its going change it. yes the feeling will pass eventually but try and learn from it while its here..... great work capturing the maelstrom thats gone through my head so many times.

 

[apocalyptic vendetta]

yeah, I battle with what I think is right and wrong every day.

 

[KHsweety03]

you know.. i often battle with the option of running and giving you a hug or running and giving you a hug and telling you i love you. i wanna do both right now.
girl you are VERY talented. i love reading what feelings you have to express. keep writing/

 

[mmmmSeXyE]

^mmmm hmmm.
You already know more than I could ever say.
Words. Beautiful.