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A ? about Naltrexone and Why im so shite at life?

ScotchMist

ScotchMist

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Right, my 1 year or so abstinence from smack came to an end yesterday :(

Im not very happy to say the least, the worst part of it all is lying to my partner. She noticed something was up and has asked me to take a Naltrexone tonight. Now I know the obvious and most sensible answer is to tell the truth but its alot more complex than that, the fallout from the truth will be disastrous for myself and others..

My question being, if I was to take a half or even quarter of a 50 mg nalrexone 24 hours after using ( I only used a small amount, maybe 8 lines ) how ill, if at all will I be? I know this is all subjective but a rough idea would be appreciated.

Ive searched online and havent found much help...

My final question, WHY DO I SUCK AT LIFE :(

I have pretty much zero problems, loads of love around, a decent job and its still not enough and I seem hell bent on chucking it in the bin...

Thanks in advance.
 
does she know youve used before ? If you just had one relapse yesterday it shoulnt go down that badly. Like you say you seem to be very lucky with your life circumstances (of course you had to make them happen too but YKWIM) but if your body chemistry is primed to enjoy opis like most people who get into them seem to be, its allways gonna be there as that forbidden fruit for you. My counsellor is on about talking about ways to resist urges, but i havent felt ready for that yet. I might give it a go with her tomorrow.

AFAIK Naloxone just knocks all opis off their receptors so you will be thrown into immediate withdrawl. I would guess it wouldnt be that bad if youve just had one dose of opis yesterday, but i would imagine it being horrific if youve been using for any length of time.
 
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How small an amount is a small amount? (I know some people who smoke very big lines ;)) I've only had to take naltrexone once (well for several days) when I was in inpatient detox. That was bupe not heroin I was on at the time though so not quite the same. I can say I definitely do not recommend taking naltrexone with any opiate in your system cos it really is a whole lotta no fun. Put me into full-on precipitated w/d even with the teensiest bit of bupe still in me. However, that was bupe and that was me coming off over a decade of daily use so a somewhat different situation.

If a small amount really is a small amount, and you've not used any other opies recently, you just might get away with it after 24h. You might just as well not though.

And try not to beat yourself up too much about the slip, they can and do happen to the best of us, the important thing is what you do from now on. Sorry I can't be more use with the heroin bit specifically but it has a relatively short half-life at least doesn't it? Might be in luck.
 
Don't even risk it for a day or 2 at least. I took a naltrexone around 12hrs after a heavy session a few years back,i'd genuinely forgotton id taken opiates :/), never felt pain like it, convulsing in a river of my own piss and shit. Ugh.

Best thing would be to be honest, and make sures its just a lapse not a relapse, 1 yea+r is fantastic and hopefully she'll see that
 
How do you mean does she know ive used before?

We've been together for a long time and the majority of that has involved me leading a double life until my lies catch up with me. She knew I was an ex user when we first met, then after a year into our relationship I started using again which takes us up to present day.

We're great together and I love her with all my heart, we have two beautiful children, we have it all. Only I seem to want my old life to run parallel to it, obviously she doesnt want this and shouldn't have to tolerate it.

Im so angry with myself, however I know that isnt going to help and no doubt descend into more using so im not going to dwell on it. I was thinking about having a little naltrexone to flush my system and continue on a coarse of them to help with my cravings and to put her mind at rest, I just wanted a rough idea of how painful it may be??
 
I can only speak to taking naltrexone with bupe in my system but if it's anything like that (which I presume it's quite likely to be) it really is hell on earth. It's not a think you could hide. You would clearly be in full-blown w/d. It may be different as this is a one-off use though (as you don't have a system loaded up and used to running on opies on a daily basis) so I would think/imagine/hope that you shouldn't be in for anything quite so bad. Doubt it's gonna be a pleasant experience though :\

And sorry to hear of the partner difficulties. Having to keep stuff from those around you is no good. No kinda way to live. I hope you can deal with it okay. It was just the once after all, if you can make sure it stays that way... Good luck with it anyway <3
 
Shambles said:
How small an amount is a small amount? (I know some people who smoke very big lines ;)) I've only had to take naltrexone once (well for several days) when I was in inpatient detox. That was bupe not heroin I was on at the time though so not quite the same. I can say I definitely do not recommend taking naltrexone with any opiate in your system cos it really is a whole lotta no fun. Put me into full-on precipitated w/d even with the teensiest bit of bupe still in me. However, that was bupe and that was me coming off over a decade of daily use so a somewhat different situation.

If a small amount really is a small amount, and you've not used any other opies recently, you just might get away with it after 24h. You might just as well not though.

And try not to beat yourself up too much about the slip, they can and do happen to the best of us, the important thing is what you do from now on. Sorry I can't be more use with the heroin bit specifically but it has a relatively short half-life at least doesn't it? Might be in luck.
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Small amount = to approximately 12-15 cm lines and I had about 6/8.. I know its all a bit unscientific but thought id ask as it wasn't a session and thought id maybe get away with it.

Ive witnessed someone take a full 50mg after removing the pin from his arm only an hour previous. Needless to say he was a mess and had a seizure, he did this a couple of times and was nearly sectioned because of it, self harming it was regarded as.

I'll try and put it off for another day, I want to be honest but I really dont think it'll be appreciated, it will tear our family apart as shes had her fill of my behaviour in the past and I cant say I blame her.

Any answers as to why I suck at life ;)
 
Thanks mdb, shambles, kronos and mr funky b... Taken on board..

Im hoping it is just a lapse, you can never say never though with that bloody brown stuff. Just when you think you've got it sussed it bites you in the ass, thats probably part of the problem, complacency :/

This is going to make for a worrying few days and i'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of what could happen. Hopefully I can put it off just long enough.

@bob - I think I'll take your advice and fess up soon once im a little more stable, honesty is the best policy, its just that honesty on a very sensitive and recent event could cause more harm than good. I've only just learnt the value of honesty really and thats why im really struggling with the lies this time.
 
ScotchMist said:
Thanks mdb, shambles, kronos and mr funky b... Taken on board..

Im hoping it is just a lapse, you can never say never though with that bloody brown stuff. Just when you think you've got it sussed it bites you in the ass, thats probably part of the problem, complacency :/

This is going to make for a worrying few days and i'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of what could happen. Hopefully I can put it off just long enough.

@bob - I think I'll take your advice and fess up soon once im a little more stable, honesty is the best policy, its just that honesty on a very sensitive and recent event could cause more harm than good. I've only just learnt the value of honesty really and thats why im really struggling with the lies this time.
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Think of it this way.

Leave the brown alone. Or leave your kids and missis alone.

If you are drawn to one more than the other then your choice is obvious. The hard part about living a double life is it WILL bite you in the arse, the hard point is pinpointing WHEN.

Best to just knock the drugs on the head, harder said than done, but if you've managed it for a year before hand, try and draw your strength from that. Just resign yourself to the fact that if you don't, you'll have very little contact with your kids/partner.

If that doesn't give you a kick up the arse to get clean, then you're not going to get clean until you've reached rock bottom and WANT to get clean.

Chin up my pedigree chum!
 
^^^ well thats one stark possible negative worst case scenario outcome. tbh regarding the honesty thing, if confessing over a one off lapse would cause more harm than good, and you could keep it secret and live with that, keeping something secret isnt lying. Sometimes its for the best all round, if your revelation is gonna cause strife, problems, stress for quite some time, and you are certain it was just a one of lapse, i dont think its a bad thing to keep quiet about it. Thats just my 'pragatic' approach to it, ive kept much of my drug use secret from friends and family because it was just cause fuckin mayhem and panic, though i have talked to some more like minded friends about some of it.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
^^^ well thats one stark possible negative worst case scenario outcome. tbh regarding the honesty thing, if confessing over a one off lapse would cause more harm than good, and you could keep it secret and live with that, keeping something secret isnt lying. Sometimes its for the best all round, if your revelation is gonna cause strife, problems, stress for quite some time, and you are certain it was just a one of lapse, i dont think its a bad thing to keep quiet about it. Thats just my 'pragatic' approach to it, ive kept much of my drug use secret from friends and family because it was just cause fuckin mayhem and panic, though i have talked to some more like minded friends about some of it.
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Discotits has hit the nail on the head and thats the reality of it. Luckily my kids are to young to know what their parents have been going through the past however many years, the pain and upset ive caused my partner over the years is something im ashamed of, it all boils down to lies that have hurt, not the drugs themselves. Ive never disappeared for days on end, ive always provided everything in way of material things, we haven't gone without because of my habits, it is just the lies..

The truth would bring it all crashing down, the dishonesty AGAIN, is something I'll have to live with. If things were to spiral again though I owe it to her and the kids to be honest.

She and the kids deserves better but I know I can be better. Im not a bad person, I just suffer from a bad problem.

I've no desire to use again, if anything its made me more certain of what I really want. Instant ( selfish ) gratification isnt it, the love of my family is what I want.
 
ScotchMist said:
Discotits has hit the nail on the head and thats the reality of it. Luckily my kids are to young to know what their parents have been going through the past however many years, the pain and upset ive caused my partner over the years is something im ashamed of, it all boils down to lies that have hurt, not the drugs themselves. Ive never disappeared for days on end, ive always provided everything in way of material things, we haven't gone without because of my habits, it is just the lies..

The truth would bring it all crashing down, the dishonesty AGAIN, is something I'll have to live with. If things were to spiral again though I owe it to her and the kids to be honest.

She and the kids deserves better but I know I can be better. Im not a bad person, I just suffer from a bad problem.

I've no desire to use again, if anything its made me more certain of what I really want. Instant ( selfish ) gratification isnt it, the love of my family is what I want.
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What I said wasn't to be negative, just how these things usually pan out.

If you want that instant gratification, you've been going about it all wrong. Get your partner to suck your dick.. <3
 
I didnt see it as negative, just the truth. Albeit a negative truth.

Blowjobs it is from here on out then ;)

Anyways, im going to do my best to avoid the blocker for a couple of days. I was just hoping due to the small amount I used I may get away with it but I guess its just not worth the risk..

Im gonna stick with MDBs advice and keep it secret (lie) ;)

Dont think ill of me EADD, and dont tell my Mrs :) hopefully I can put this behind me and have some postive news soon.
 
ScotchMist said:
I didnt see it as negative, just the truth. Albeit a negative truth.

Blowjobs it is from here on out then ;)

Anyways, im going to do my best to avoid the blocker for a couple of days. I was just hoping due to the small amount I used I may get away with it but I guess its just not worth the risk..

Im gonna stick with MDBs advice and keep it secret (lie) ;)

Dont think ill of me EADD, and dont tell my Mrs :) hopefully I can put this behind me and have some postive news soon.
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