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9/11

C

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Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2007
Messages
3,108
I am more
beast than man. The grass is torn
by my fingers, poppies I have loved
since the day I was born.
I was milked on nothingness.
I need no relief, just send the morgue men right away
the perfect twins have me in their sway
Nothing is caused, to no effect
is this angry madman trying to defect.
All he does
is do knuckle push ups on the cement
demented, like a cartoon pin-up
unable to keep his chin up
between world-made new holes.
If you think you're tough shit
is gonna get rough
The clown paint is washing off...
God doesn't trust me a bit...
 
This is really awesome. I like all the strange imagery and wordplay. I would consider ending on a rhyming couplet, maybe.
 
I like how raw this sounds with the veiled and otherwise references to cities and new york. very apt. I didn't even think about 9-11 until after work...weird
 
I want to dictate this at an upcoming poetry slam but im afraid all the "poor black folk" will be offended at the clown paint analogy. what do you guys think? i think they'll dig it. i think some of them are from NYC, chicago etc. hot shit for canadian standards..... wish me luck
 
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