fuck i just remembered that tonight, my dealer, of all people, warned me to keep it down with the pills, and went on, asking me questions about how often i use and shit. i don't remember the whole conversation.. but fuck is it that obvious i have a problem? how does he know?! he hardly knows me.. i haven't told him anything, other than shown him some a while back. maybe people around me are talking shit? or do i come across as that fucked up? i guess i was a bit high and sleep deprived, but fiuck i didn't think it was obvious to other people! do i look like a fucked up drug addict? does everyone i know know? oh god. i need to move away from here, i think that's what i need to do.. people know too much. this is why i shouldn't leave my room..
