tonight I found the motivation/desire, wrote some shit down and liked the end result. Just felt like puttin' where some like-minded folk might see it....
head twisted...
thoughts warped and inconsistent...
Bitter, Hate and Spite: the only friends that ever visit
left rem'niscent of the past,
all the laughs I used to have
wonderin' will my happiness ever make a comeback?
I'm always hopin' that it do
but, really, I fear the truth is that
my days of constant smilin' flew away with my youth
so what the fuck am I to do?
I used to think, "Just drug abuse!"
but after 10 plus 2 years that's not an option I'ma choose
and now I'm sittin' here confused because that's all I ever knew...
and my closest associates, same holds true for them too
but I'm not holdin' 'em responsible
I just know it's impossible
to stop a bad habit when homies always got a pocketful
so now I've severed ties to anyone who played a party to my slow self-destruction...
now I'm like fuck 'em
my soul's sittin' stuck in this crossroads, this junction
with nothin' but lint and an empty wallet in my pocket...
nowhere but up to go, I just need to find me a rocket
or a step-stool or a ladder
I mean really it don't matter
as long as I travel far, far from this fuckin' rat-hole
where constant battles have turned me into a straight asshole...
a rat bastard capable of stealin' from kin
and ignorin' the screamin' voice yellin' objections within
never again will I bring a tear to my mother's eye
or a clench to my father's fist, make my sister or brother cry
that must've been some other guy cuz I'd never do that
my family means the world and forever I knew that
nevertheless addiction's been my life's constant theme and lookin' back now
.....I can't believe that was me......
head twisted...
thoughts warped and inconsistent...
Bitter, Hate and Spite: the only friends that ever visit
left rem'niscent of the past,
all the laughs I used to have
wonderin' will my happiness ever make a comeback?
I'm always hopin' that it do
but, really, I fear the truth is that
my days of constant smilin' flew away with my youth
so what the fuck am I to do?
I used to think, "Just drug abuse!"
but after 10 plus 2 years that's not an option I'ma choose
and now I'm sittin' here confused because that's all I ever knew...
and my closest associates, same holds true for them too
but I'm not holdin' 'em responsible
I just know it's impossible
to stop a bad habit when homies always got a pocketful
so now I've severed ties to anyone who played a party to my slow self-destruction...
now I'm like fuck 'em
my soul's sittin' stuck in this crossroads, this junction
with nothin' but lint and an empty wallet in my pocket...
nowhere but up to go, I just need to find me a rocket
or a step-stool or a ladder
I mean really it don't matter
as long as I travel far, far from this fuckin' rat-hole
where constant battles have turned me into a straight asshole...
a rat bastard capable of stealin' from kin
and ignorin' the screamin' voice yellin' objections within
never again will I bring a tear to my mother's eye
or a clench to my father's fist, make my sister or brother cry
that must've been some other guy cuz I'd never do that
my family means the world and forever I knew that
nevertheless addiction's been my life's constant theme and lookin' back now
.....I can't believe that was me......