human paraquat
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 25, 2004
- Messages
- 1,067
Manuel Manulas has written a rather bizzare book detailing every way in which someone can spit in the face of someone else. The book was first published in 1969 and has just recently gone into its fifth printing. This book is only available at specially selected bookstores in the region of Apartment 35B, Maybury Street, Missoula, Montana.
The owner of Apartment 35B, Mrs. Elderberry Rice, denies any involvement with Manuel Manulas, saying she hates his book and despises spitting. "It was not my choice to sell his book. The man with the strange hat forced me. I was with my iguana at the time, reflecting on the toupee between John Engram's toes."
Manuel says otherwise. "She just doesn't want to tell you. It's all very clear. Not opaque or solid, but clear. Her tooth is as clear as the brush water she uses to fill it with." Conspiracy theories have risen fairly high between these two, culminating in the absurd attempt to reflect that Manuel uses his spitting technique to sexually pleasure Mrs. Rice and attain a level of nondescript euphoria unknown to striped monkeys of the Bolivian region of South America. Manuel says, "I have never sexually pleasured myself or any other with the spitting techniques apparent in my book Seventy-Two Ways to Spit in Someone's Face, but I have used my spitting techniques in court to suggest as to how one may achieve a level of euphoria similar to, but different from, the ones achieved during a sexual orgasm. It was perfectly legal, and my counsel here can reflect on that finite detail for all present to hear it soundly."
On page eighty-five of the book there is nothing because the book is only seventy-two pages long. When asked about this, Manuel replied "What happens on page eighty-five of my book is not my business or no one else's. Go find them and ask them."
Mrs. Rice replied, "Page eighty-five is deeply inherent in me. No one may respond but them." Them, however, was unavailable for questioning, having recently relocated to page ninety-seven of the book.
This mystery is unsolved and unavailable to the general public. The art of spitting and the secrets contained therein are unwarrantable and demand further gratification from the masses at large to complete them with any severity. Please write to your local senator and demand to get the art of spitting down to a "T".
Manuel is now living in Mrs. Rice's apartment, and when last spoken to, did not reply.
The owner of Apartment 35B, Mrs. Elderberry Rice, denies any involvement with Manuel Manulas, saying she hates his book and despises spitting. "It was not my choice to sell his book. The man with the strange hat forced me. I was with my iguana at the time, reflecting on the toupee between John Engram's toes."
Manuel says otherwise. "She just doesn't want to tell you. It's all very clear. Not opaque or solid, but clear. Her tooth is as clear as the brush water she uses to fill it with." Conspiracy theories have risen fairly high between these two, culminating in the absurd attempt to reflect that Manuel uses his spitting technique to sexually pleasure Mrs. Rice and attain a level of nondescript euphoria unknown to striped monkeys of the Bolivian region of South America. Manuel says, "I have never sexually pleasured myself or any other with the spitting techniques apparent in my book Seventy-Two Ways to Spit in Someone's Face, but I have used my spitting techniques in court to suggest as to how one may achieve a level of euphoria similar to, but different from, the ones achieved during a sexual orgasm. It was perfectly legal, and my counsel here can reflect on that finite detail for all present to hear it soundly."
On page eighty-five of the book there is nothing because the book is only seventy-two pages long. When asked about this, Manuel replied "What happens on page eighty-five of my book is not my business or no one else's. Go find them and ask them."
Mrs. Rice replied, "Page eighty-five is deeply inherent in me. No one may respond but them." Them, however, was unavailable for questioning, having recently relocated to page ninety-seven of the book.
This mystery is unsolved and unavailable to the general public. The art of spitting and the secrets contained therein are unwarrantable and demand further gratification from the masses at large to complete them with any severity. Please write to your local senator and demand to get the art of spitting down to a "T".
Manuel is now living in Mrs. Rice's apartment, and when last spoken to, did not reply.
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